once apon a time, i hated you
you were stupid and you couldn't ever begin to understand.
and every mean thing i heard about you i believed.
it only strengthened my hate and my disgust.
you were always in the way. you were always judging and pushing and pointing your finger.
i grew since then.
i began to realize it was my childishness that got in the way of our relationship. i realized it was the lies i was told that served as the foundation for my hatred.
so i pushed those aside. all the foolish notions i had, i ignored. and becos of that i saw you weren't so bad.
once upon a time, i loved you.
but now that love has proved weak and fragile.
and you have brought back to my mind every reason i ever had of wanting to be away from you.
you have hurt me, and mocked me, and made me ache inside.
i see now it's you who are being childish. you who are so blind. and now i feel this hatred will once again overwhelm me and cripple me.
what's worse, i don't see how i can ever begin to love you again. not after this.
before you did nothing to turn me against you, that was the lies and my imagination.
but now....now you have reopened every single wound i have ever suffered from you. and then you ground in the salt.
i am so bitter and hurt but i have no tears to cry. the anger takes them away at the first sign of their approach.
i hate you.
maybe i can forgive you, after the years have dulled the anger. but i will never forget this hurt. |
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