I saw you yesterday. I wanted to ask you how your life was. I wanted to tell you how much I didn't miss you. I wanted to see the look in your eyes when I told you that I didn't cry, and I couldn't bring myself to lie. Today's your birthday. I wanted to spend $100 on a promise ring, promising lies neither you nor I could keep. I wanted to spend $25 on knickknacks that would make you think of me. Instead, I spent $2 on a Hallmark card that I was too scared to send, and I'll never spend anything on you again. You'll drive by again tomorrow. I want to believe that my heart won't stop beating at the sight of you. I want to turn my back and walk calmly away. I want to let go, say a final goodbye, and I can't talk myself into believing my lies.
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