I touch the ivory keys softly, almost reverently. I'm so afraid to sing again that my chest tightens just at the thought. I ahvn't played in a long time either. I'm just afraid fo all the memories that are going to come flooding back. The simple melodies I played for you softly blushing with pleasure when you procalimed them the most beautiful songs every written, "And sung with the voice of an angel," you would boast to anyone who would listen. But I crave to feel you near, so I don't move.
I leaf through the sheet music slowly, finding one of the many songs written for you. My index finger hits the low D note slowly, the soft sound filling me with longing for you. The tears begin to wash my face as I take a deep breathe and go on, my foot presses the pedal as visions of you dance before my eyes.
I see you laughing in the sun, your arms reaching to pick me up and spin me around in our secret spot in the woods, your beautiful eyes. Your eyes always made me melt, when you would look at me just so, then slowly smile, and say, "Can you stay mad at me, the love of your life?" And I'd make you wait a minute longer, then kiss you.
Oh your kiss.... my fingers slow to nothing as I stare at the white keys trying not to cry anymore. It's been a long time now, I shouldn't still be crying over you, but yet the roses you gave me are dried on my shelf, all your letters are pressed carefully in "our book." The "babies" you gave me, rather my stuffed animals, still smile at me from my bed.
But my piano, my pride and joy is a treasure trove of memories. I got it for my 7'th birthday and was so excited baout the fact I really had a grand piano. I left the lid up for so long that when you put it down I almost didn't reconize my room, then you pulled me on top, and kissed me so deeply. Your body pressed so tightly against mine, for once I saw fireworks while kissing someone. But what else would you expect from kissing an angel? The wood was cold against my back as you slipped off my shirt, my spine tingling and you unhooked the bra. your lips were so soft. I hardly knew you, but I knew veerything about you. Wekks seems years as we strived to find out everythng about each other. And we did.
Your skin was so hot, the window was open letting in November air, giving me goosebumps that you would kiss away with your beautiful mouth. Your voice so low, so soft in my ear, driving me crazy. your body crushing mine against the grain of the wood was painful but so very sweet. Imprisoned in your arms I fell for you, heart and soul. And so that was the beginning of us.
And I touch the keys once more, and I write again, the tears flowing, and this my love, this song is for you. And I call it the ending of us. It's about how sometimes I don't think i can go on anymore without you here. I'm not as storng as you thought, I could never be all you expected me to be.
Most men just expect me to be beautiful and smile at the right time. You wanted me to be storng, you wanted me to live life as if i didn't have tommorow, you wanted so much more for me. And I am storng, and I was strong, after you left i had no choice.
But right now, more than anything i want to be weak and just collapse in your wonderful embrace. But no, instead I'm singing the end of us. |
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