Goodbye wishful thinking,
Goodbye everything I'm missing,
Happy days of childhood,
If I could go back, I would.
All of a sudden I feel so old,
I walk to the park and it's so cold,
I sit on the swing and remember when,
We would write on the walls with colored pens.
I walk into the clubhouse dusty grey,
Looking at the ground where we used to lay,
Playing truth or dare till the sun went down,
A tear falls onto my deepening frown.
The only girl in the group of guys,
Yet everything of thiers was mine,
I played kickball and street hockey,
As our sticks hit it wasn't a girl they would see.
Lazy summers when I was just fourteen,
Nothing bloody, nor obscene,
Lemonade under shady trees,
Eight guys and then there was me.
Hair in a ponytail with a baseball cap,
Rocks piled up in a jean clad lap,
A tank top on they looked at me,
But still it wasn't a girl they would see.
Then came the summer of ninety eight,
I had discovered lip gloss and thought it tasted great,
All of a sudden truth and dare turned into a kissing game,
Staying outside my hair's plastered to my face by the rain.
Violins playing a mournful song,
I sense it won't be long,
Till they look at me and see a girl,
And mess up our entire world.
All of a sudden we would play and your body would touch mine,
And I would see a look that I now know in your eyes,
As something sexual and no longer am I,
Just one of the guys.
I slowly slipped out of our maze,
Of happiness and freedom filled days,
With the hot sun beating down on our faces,
Looking at the clouds and imagining faraway places.
I would give anythign to back to the ice-cream days,
To chocolate candyies covered in a a honied glaze,
To laughing at jokes too silly to tell,
As we created a heaven in a earth known as hell.
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