I'm assaulted by memories of being free. I'm covered thickly in emotions of emotions, I can't breathe in anymore, my very life is seeping out of me.
All because of you.
No dear, it's not a sweet love song, it's not me crying on the phone asking you to come back. It's not me after reading your old letters for hours, and listening to our songs forever.
It's me hitting my head against the wall in frustration.
How dare you be such an asshole, how dare you ruin my life like this? I'm trying to go on, I'm trying to be normal but no, no, no! Your voice will always be there when I drift off to sleep, your face will always be in dreams, it will forever your body I feel pressed against mine, our nakedness hardly sexual as much as holy.
I hate you.
I hate you because you're all I need. I hate you because you've sunk into my very life and you're dragging me down without a word, you're choking the very life out of me.
But oh, to feel your skinn.
Your lips.
That kiss.
I just - I can't breathe anymore darling. |
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