These Hallowed halls call me ever onward. I'm sure they mean well, but you know and I know that they never do it well enough. Everything you do for that sacred letter is never enough. It's not the right stuff anyway, what does it matter?
The pressure builds and builds, like so many towers to the sky. Higher and higher, deeper and deeper.
When I woke today, the dreams of yesterday seemed to fade away and the reality of tommorrow loomed so tall. I stumbled to my cleansing, hoping to wash away the pain, but it just keeps coming back. I could cry out, like so many before, "Out damned spot," but history shows us, all the oceans really *aren't* enough. It makes me wonder sometimes, Who's blood is on my hands?
Down the hill, and to the hall of knowledge. A hundred or more faces pass me on my way. All unfamilure, all unknown. What thoughts lurk in those blank stares? From the outside looking in, do I seem the same? I sit in class while the Master is discussed. His works, so many, so revered. Everyone loves The Bard of Avon... everyone but his sacred wife. The loss of his son, the loss of his Globe.
For some reason, the pain hits then. My mind goes back several hours. I'm holding my head in my hands. It's fractured. I know what I have to do, but everytime the pieces are gathered they seem to slip away.
The dam threatens then. Among the famous words of "To be or not to be..." my eyes feel heavy. Everything comes crashing down, and I run risk of releasing it all then.
My lungs are heavy, forcing the air so slowly to my
blood so thick it hurts my
heart so pained it pounds in my
head so confused...
The unrequited is such a small part. Just a symbol for everything so large and small. I've let it all go to far, to long.
Can I catch it in time?
With no one to blame but myself it's hard to capture any sympathy to salve myself.
After a thousand years and a moment it all passes. I return to my life again. William tells and the class is gone. I move through the motions, and arm myself for the battles ahead with substance and nuroushment.
At least I know what I'm going through, and I know the problems I've given to myself.
At least I know what I have to do to get back ahead of myself.
And the knowledge that I'm taking control back from myself is enough to bring a smile even to my face.
And sometimes,
That's all that matters...
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