ignorance is all the words
he has together, the only words
he can speak to me through the bars
of his jail. stuck behind the mask of his
father, trapped behind the veil
of a belt from years past. i expected
to see him in violation in time. but
the violation was not only hers, it was mine.
and now i sit and try to accept that the one
i love is the one who died. i sit here and hope
that my love can live again one day. but until then
we take our steps one at a time. soon she'll be
on her precious feet again.
~~~
im stuck inside this horrible,
little, stinking hole wishing
i could remember what i had said
before. i'm lost in the idea that
i have nothing to say or do for her.
nothing but recall for her the graphics
of rape. am i such a sloth that i can
not do enough for my bright eyes far away?
i must arise to my challenges and eat
the hole that is so used to eating me.
~~~
i wish i could speak like shakespeare,
maybe metaphor my way through a speech
and be remembered for today's aspects.
i'll try and forget my language in favor
of something else, but i really shouldn't
do that. sacrifice my own language and lose
my voice to something i never was and couldn't
be. i'll have to remember what it feels like
to have your words taken away.
~~~
i can't say enough tonight. i wish i had
a way of curing voliated flesh. maybe erase
a memory and fill in a game. this never happened,
but it only happens every day. i can't explain
what i'm always trying to say other than nonsense
is a virtue and one i continiously proclaim is the
downfall of my patient void. i'll remember to take
my medicine today, talk to my love, and remember the
benefits of pain.
~~~
i'm gonna write about words
that rhyme with tang. or maybe
i can't think of more than a line
at a time and more will come
to me when i run from the fears
that are so dear to my heart. without
being scared i would never dare to
tread a territory of pain that i have
never before had the pleasure to explain.
now, knowing what it feels like, i can say
reward comes from the pleasure found in pain.
stalk the dark corners and talk to the strangers
and you'll find they all know the feeling of blood
dripping on the sidewalk. they all know the sound
of a knife through the heart, but all of them
still alive. still waiting for the bus to take them
to the next stop. wherever that may be. it's a story
that intrigues me now. a tangential motion towards
the radial movement of stars. hopefully i can move that
fast, be that far away. my voice is getting old, but still
i am told that it can sustain the sex of an ear. i tend
to hide under the covers, wonder what hovers above, just over
my head. cautious of the monsters that come stomping in
late at night, when the green light of an amplifier is the
only color i can see. the smell of burning iron and the taste static
on my teeth remind me i'm not alone in this room. but far, far
away, a spirit is sending me a kiss, and my lips tingle and i
feel...awake, the dream is over and i am gone. gone for where
i come from. i hope to feel my heart again tonight, in my dreams.
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