All you can see are the bad things I do
You can't see the pain and what I go through
The pain I hide will never be shown
The hurt I feel will never be known
All the boys, lies, parties, and drinking
But you don't know what I'm really thinking
You'll never be told 'cause you wouldn't understand
That all I need in life is a loving hand
But I must let these feelings out, they're such a curse
If I don't, I feel I might burst
So with this paper and pen I'll write the unspoken
You'll find what you see very thought-provoking
I'll write the truth, no more lies
But I warn you: Beware! The pain you'd rather not spy
Well here it goes, the truth untold
On this paper for you will unfold
The sex you think is my bewitching craft
When I hear that said it makes me laugh
You think I laugh because you've guessed my secret
Oh how wrong you could be, though I shall never speak it
The truth is all I want is love
For at least a second to some man I'm the one
I laugh because it relieves the endless pain
What you say hurts and I blush with shame
The parties you think are all for fun
You can't tell that I just want to scream and run
I don't want to be there but I want to fit in
So forever I'll always commit these evil sins
The drinking and drugs you think are such a mistake
I know you're right but what other road could I take?
And I know the drinking makes me so wild
But for at least a split second I'm a happy child
Now the pain's gotten so bad nothing can stop it
So I'll end it my own way, I don't have to put up with this shit
I picked up the gun and said my farewells
In a couple of days you'll hear those distant bells...
But first, I thought, I'd write my loved ones a note
Only one person came in mind, so to him I wrote:
You're my best friend, the only one who really cares
To you all my secrets and stories I could share
You stayed up all night to wipe away my tears
Always there to help when I had doubts or fears
The one I knew I could always run to
Forever and always I will love you
Now as I finished pouring out my heart and soul
I realized you're gone, you died a year ago
Now I remember that dreary day
When all my happiness vanished away
Now I'm so lonely again so I picked up the gun
And on my cheek only one tear shall run
That tear is for you, my one and only love
And in a few minutes I'll see you again up above |
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