I knew as soon as I walked through the door
that it was over.
The second that i learned of you comming here
The second where I could do nothing but take a huge sigh of relief
And I hate myself for knowing you are right
For knowing that our little love affair was spoiled
I hate myself for knowing that everything you said made sense
But I cannot help but to wonder had I been different
Could you have actually cared for me
I know I am not the girl you thought I was
and I am sorry that I had to care to much, to feel to deeply
I am sorry that I was not able to fake the things i wanted to keep hidden
But most of all I am sorry that I wasn't strong enough to end it first
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened between us
Had i not opened up my heart to you as i lay drunk
So pathetic, so sad, so lonely, so hurt, so vulnerable
and yet my smile glides so easily from my lips, my eyes still sparkle
Everything I thought I was has fallen from the wishes and dreams
I keep hidden within a glass case
I have become a girl that I am embarrassed to even look at in the mirror
my eyes are sad, but every once in a while I even shock myself
I wish that people could care for my soul, my truth
I wish that people could look past my curves, my eyes, my skin,
I wish that someone for once would give me a compliment that was no referenced to the way I looked....
Everyday I feel like the girl that is told that she is beautiful
but sits alone and is to numb to cry after so much hurt and pain
in her life. |
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