The Lyrics:
i beat my machine it's a part of me it's inside of me
i'm stuck in this dream it's changing me i am becoming
the me that you know had some second thoughts
he's covered with scabs and he is broken and sore
the me that you know doesn't come around much
that part of me isn't here anymore
all pain disappears it's the nature of my circuitry
drowns out all i hear there's no escape from this my new consciousness
that me that you know used to have feelings
but the blood has stopped pumping and he's left to decay
the me that you know is now made up of wires
and even when i'm right with you i'm so far away
i can try to get away but i've strapped myself in
i can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
i can see it killing away all my bad parts
i don't want to listen but it's all too clear
hiding backwards inside of me i feel so unafraid
annie, hold a little tighter i might just slip away
it won't give up it wants me dead
and goddamn this noise inside my head
(Pre 5-12-98)
This is the NIN song I identify with most at this point in my life.
"the me that you know, he had some second thoughts
he's covered with scabs, he is broken and sore"
He's talking about being young and full of hope and love, and now he's seeing that that isn't realistic. He's rethinking his dreams and his whole attitude towards life is changing. "The me that you know" is the naive person he used to be.
"the me that you know, he doesn't come around much
that part of me isn't here anymore"
He flat-out says that the old him is gone. He is lost.
"all pain disappears, it's the nature of my circuitry
drowns out all I hear, no escape from this my new consciousness"
He's losing his feeling. His life is becoming routine. He begins to refer to himself in robotics terms because he feels as if he is losing his humanity.
I identify with this a lot right now. After years of dreams not coming true, and love not returned, you start to get a little numb to it all. You don't have intense feelings like you used to. It's easier because "all pain disappears"- you don't really feel it anymore. But it's a shitty feeling.
"the me that you know, he used to have feelings
but the blood has stopped pumping and he is left to decay"
This reinforces the loss of feeling he is going through. Again, "the me that you know," the old him, he used to care and things meant something to him. He's lost that now.
"the me that you know is now made up of wires
and even when I'm right with you, I'm so far away"
Again, he uses mechanical terms to describe himself and how he's changed. The line "even when I'm right with you, I'm so far away" really hits me because it's often how I feel.
"I can see it killing away all of my bad parts"
"It" is the "noise inside his head" and his "bad parts" are the remaining feelings and hopes that he has. They are "bad parts" because they have caused him such pain.
"Hiding backwards inside of me, I feel so unafraid
Annie, hold on a little tighter, I might just slip away"
His remaining humanity is "hiding backwards inside of him" and even though it's being stripped from him, he cannot feel afraid. There is nothing he can do. He calls out to another person to hold onto him and help him or else he'll "slip away". The person slipping away is "the me that you know"- the old Trent.
Then the loud screeching mechanical sounds come blasting in. The end of this song is one of the most intense moments on the album. It comes to an end with Trent's twisted inhuman screaming of "it won't give up it wants me dead, and goddamn this noise inside my head". His human voice struggles to be heard over the mechanical noises that are overtaking him.
Song very similar to The Becoming: Minute of Decay by Marilyn Manson. "There's not much left to love | To tired today to hate | I feel the empty | I feel the minute of decay". They're both about having been through a ton of crap and you just can't feel anything anymore.
-me
(Pre 5-12-98)
I relate to the becoming most as well and it's my favorite song of his 'cause of the beautiful work he did on it; all those sounds are such a replica of the feelings I have that are only describable by some of those sounds...you have to see with an equal eye as to the lyrics...i believe it's a helplessness of traveling...changing...becoming and just becoming but never becoming something...it's something that goes along with self-destruction...an evolution that you can't help...and it's frustrating at times, and others it's like this god of yourself inside stops it like the part where he says "hiding backwards inside of me i feel so unafraid"...those sounds of such an empty eternal place, peaceful...then the frustration of it "it won't give up it wants me dead, goddamn this noise inside my head!"...he just wants to stay at some frame of mind have some security to live, to feel reality again...but his mind it won't stop he can't stop...and at the end it's peaceful again...just have to accept it as a product of looking inside yourself deeply...
(Pre 5-12-98)
The Becomeing to me seems to be one track that I think I understand to it's fullest. It has a very machnic, hypnotic beat, and trent does use the machine as a metaphor. Although his genre normally dictates that you have an "industrial" sound, meaning loops and samples, it seems to be more of the song. Reznor's beats seem to be erratic in others, but this one is dead to the point, it has less of his "drum crashes", where it sounds like choas. It seems all too mechanical to me. This to me symbolizes losing the "human" side of you. Turning into a machine, not feeling, just going through the motions of life. Even when you think you have feelings you really don't. Whether or not this is in the person's head or holds true is allways debateable. The lyrics spoke of a change he couldn't help because he made himself become what he is. The way he sings with little to no emotion at some points also alludes to the machine. It's melloncolly. And some contradictions such as the opening lines, allude to other deeper problems. He seems to wanna reach from where he is but can't seem to grip. Helplessness seems to be another theme in this. What I wonder is why the allusions to "the me you used to know", he seems to think that he changed completely, but at certain points he seems to know what he was like. And if your mind set is truly changed can you know what it was you were? He seems to wanna reach out and yes he tries, but as it's bluntly put he's the only one keeping himself back.
(Pre 5-12-98)
I look at all of the other interpretations on this page and just kind of see how everyone takes the extreme skinny puppy style machine background as meaning that it has to do with machinery and becoming a machine... i see more of the trent reznor broken relationship song in this...
"I beat my machine... its a part of me.. its inside of me..
i'm stuck in this dream.. its changing me.. i am becoming"
this is about how.. he's changing inside.. how he's not trent anymore... he's just someone who's been sucked into a relationship and can't do anything but be in it..
"the me that you know he had some second thoughts
he's covered in scabs he is broken and sore"
i used to think about what i did in my relationship with you but now that i've given everything for you i still feel so empty... but i cant think for myself anymore because you've taken over my mind and are inside my head.
"the me that you know he doesnt come around much
that part of me isnt here anymore"
you took it from me... now i'm yours... you are what i want.... but.. even if you abuse me i cant fight back...
"all the pain disapears... its the nature of.. of my circuitry..
drowns out all i hear.. no escape from this.. my new conciousness"
he's so obsessed... he doesnt feel anymore.. all he thinks about is her..
"the me that you know he used to have feelings
but the blood has stopped pumping and he is left to decay"
every moment i breath, my heart beats, i live only for you... i have no more...
"the me that you know is now made up of wires
so even when i'm right with you i'm so far away"
now that all i think about is you.. when i'm with you i'm not talking to you... my words simply fall off onto you... i don't just want you anymore...
"i can try to get away but i've strapped myself in
i can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
i can see it killing away all my bad parts
i don't want to listen but it's all too clear"
I can't think of myself anymore but there's this little piece of me straining for self preservation.
"hiding backwards inside of me i feel so unafraid
annie hold a little tighter i might just slip away"
I love you i love you i love you i love you... keep my like this forever...
"itwontgiveupitwantsmedeadgoddamnthisnoiseinsidemyhead
itwontgiveupitwantsmedeadgoddamnthisnoiseinsidemyhead"(sorry i think it looks cool like that)
theres that little piece of me screaming to not let myself fall in love... and its slowly driving me insane...
-Fox