A Redneck's Guide to Computers

"Bit" -------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
"Byte" ------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Cursor" ----- What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"Digital control" - What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"Floppy" ----- When you run out of Polygrip.
"Hard drive" - Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" --- Place to hang your truck keys.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Modem" ------ How you got rid of your dandelions.
"Mouse" ------ Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"Network" ---- Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.
"Packet" ----- What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart before a trip.
"Reboot" ----- What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"ROM" -------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Window" ----- Place in the truck to hang your guns.