A Man Dies

A smart-ass fellow died and went to the Pearly Gates where he was confronted by St. Peter. Peter said," You're not so spotless. To get into heaven you must answer three questions correctly."

"Okay", says Mr Smart-Ass. "What two days of the week begin with the letter "T"? "Oh, that's easy. Today and Tomorrow.", says Smart-Ass. Peter, now nonplussed, asks "O.K. Smart-Ass, how many seconds are there in a year?" "Oh, that's easy." says Smart-Ass. "Twelve" "How do you figure that Smart-Ass?" Peter asks. "January second, February second, etc." Peter, now really nonplussed and really pissed, asks his third and most difficult question. "O.K. SMART-ASS, What's God's first name?" "Oh, that's easy. says Smart-Ass. It's Howard." Peter, now really pissed asks,"Pray tell, how do you know?" "Well, Peter, you should know this. It's in the Bible." "Where? Peter asks. "When Jesus said, 'Our Father, Who art in heaven Howard be thy name..."