Baby Got Gap

BABY GOT GAP
or: Everybody in Conformity

by Sir Ralex-A-Lot

[spoken intro]
Oh my god!
Becky, look at her vest!
It’s so pastel!
She looks like one of those jock guy's girlfriends
But, you know, who understands those jock guys?
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prep, ok?
I mean her vest
It's just so pastel
I can't believe it's just so color-less
It's like out there
I mean, gross!
Look, she's just so ... preppy!

I like tech vests and I can not lie
You other preps can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a crew-neck T
And a pair of stretch capris
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that vest was Gap
Deep in the jeans she's wearin'
I'm hooked and I can't stop starin'
Oh, ba-by, I wanna get wit' ya
And take your picture
My teamates tried to warn me
But that fleece you got makes
Me so horny!
Ooh, fuzzy new Cardigans
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well get me, get me
Cuz you ain't that average preppy
I've seen her shoppin'
To hell with romancin'
She got Tees, jeans,
Got it goin' like brand new capris,
I'm tired of magazines
Saying dark colors are the thing
Take the average jock man, and ask him that
She gotta shop at Gap
So fellas (yeah!), fellas (yeah!)
Does your girlfriend shop at gap? (hell, yeah!)
Tell her to buy it (buy it), buy it (buy it)
Buy those brand new cords
Baby got Gap
(expressionless face with some flared up jeans )
Baby got Gap
(expresisonless face with some flared up jeans)
(expresisonless face with some flared up jeans)

I like 'em dressed the same
when I see one with no brain,
I just can't help myself
I'm actin' like a animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get ya home
And (uh!), double up (uh! uh!)
I ain't talkin' 'bout Old Navy
Cuz those commercials dirve me crazy
I wan' 'em sterile and prosaic
So find that cheerleading ditz,
I’m both Abercrombie and Fitz
but those Cardigans make me itch,
I don’t like goths or ‘boarders
free-thinkers make me feel shorter
as I said in the verses former,
I'll like my women conformers
A word to the freaks like that,
you gotta shop at Gap
go buy some lighter crap,
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna (ooh!)
'Til the break of dawn
Baby, got it goin' on
A lotta people won't like this song
Cuz them punks like to buy it at Ragstock
And I'd rather shop at Gap
Cuz I'm big and I’m hot,
And I like my clothes straight from the sweatshop
So cheerleaders (yeah!), cheerleaders (yeah!)
If your not the type for “Masterpiece Theater” (yeah!)
Then go to the mall,
buy a haul,
but a whole new batch next fall,
Baby got Gap
Baby got Gap

[spoken]
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Intelligence ain't got nothin' to do with my selection
American Eagle? Ah-ha
Only if she got the Gap bag too!

So your girlfriend wears stretch Tees,
owns a few stretch capris,
But Tees and and some jeans ain’t enough to appease me
cause you see,
Don't want crap unless you got dat Gap.
You can do Old Navy and that,
But please don't lose that Gap
Some preppys wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the Gaps gettin old
So they toss it, and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So you stop shoppin down at Gap,
Well, I ain't down with that
Cuz their clothes are simple and the selection never changes
the staff just re-arranges
For your arty freak types down in Uptown,
do you ever stop that frown?
There’s a Gap down in Uptown, a Gap up in downtown,
you can’t escape in any town,
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls aren’t on my list
He preferred to wear his own style,
he’s obviously in denial.
So ladies if your a Gap shopper,
and you don’t like to be a boat-rocker,
Dial 1-900-Ralex-A-Lot and wear those twenty- dollar socks.
Baby got Gap
Baby got Gap

More chatter then grey matter but she got much Gap
More chatter then grey matter but she got much Gap
More chatter then grey matter but she got much Gap
More chatter then grey matter but she got much Gap