Stupid People

> SPOD (Stupid People of the Day)
> >>>
> > >>>> > > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> >>> > > toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
> >>> > > woman called in very upset because she caught her little
> >>> > > daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
> >>> > > ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
> >>> > > her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at
> >>> > > the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
> >>> > > gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
> >>> > > the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
> >>> > > in to the ER right away.
> >>> > >
> >>> > > *********************************
> >>> > >
> >>> > > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the
> >>> > > field decided to steal a life raft from one of the
> >>> > > 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the
> >>> > > plant and home. When they took it for a float on the
> >>> > > Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a coast
> >>> > > guard helicopter homing in on the emergency locator that
> >>> > > is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
> >>> > > employed here.
> >>> > >
> >>> > > ********************************
> >>> > >
> >>> > > The instructor was demonstrating the wonders of static
> >>> > > electricity to his class at MIT. While holding a plastic
> >>> > > rod in one hand and a wool cloth in the other, he told the
> >>> > > class, "You can see that I get a large charge from rubbing
> >>> > > my rod..." That was pretty much the end of learning for
> >>> > > that day.
> >>> > >
> >>> > > ********************************
> >>> > >
> >>> > > I worked for a while at a Walmart store, selling
> >>> > > sporting goods. As an employee of Walmart you are
> >>> > > sometimes required to make storewide pages, e.g.,"I have
> >>> > > a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint
> >>> > > counter." One night a tentative female voice came over
> >>> > > the intercom system with the following message: "I have
> >>> > > a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance."
> >>> > >
> >>> > > *********************************
> >>> > >
> >>> > > A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching
> >>> > > for speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed
> >>> > > limit, the officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy
> >>> > > was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand
> >>> > > painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little
> >>> > > more investigative work led the officer to the boy's
> >>> > > accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar
> >>> > > trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet,
> >>> > > full of change.
> >>> > >
> >>> > > *********************************
> >>> > >
> >>> > > A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for
> >>> > > a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd
> >>> > > lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under
> >>> > > the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire
> >>> > > floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He
> >>> > > proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As
> >>> > > he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said,
> >>> > > handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the
> >>> > > hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my
> >>> > > gerbil."