Guy Talk translated

> I'M GOING FISHING"
> Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a
> stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
safety."
>
> "IT'S A GUY THING"
> Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and
> you have no chance at all of making it logical".
>
> "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
> Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
> "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
> Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
>
> "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
> Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
>
> "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
> Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
>
> "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
> Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
>
> "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
> Translated: "Are you still talking?"
>
> "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
> Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the
> first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every
> car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday"
>
> "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
> Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
>
> "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
> Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
>
> "I CAN'T FIND IT."
> Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
> clueless"
>
> "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
> Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
>
> "I HEARD YOU."
> Translate: Hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you
> don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
>
> "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
> Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be
> worse."
>
> "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
> Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
>
> "I'M NOT LOST ... I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
> Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
> "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
> Translated: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."