The Psychiatric Hotline
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive: Please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependant: Please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities: Please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional: We know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully, a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a manic depressive: It doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
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