HOW TO CONFUSE PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
scream "NO!!! They've found me!" and bolt.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop
and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to
you evilly.

Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a
different screen than the one it's set up with.

Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you
have it, say "Just in case..."

Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone
agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pants and say, "Oops, I
forgot."

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the floppy disc drive,
when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Assign a musical note to every key (i.e. the Delete key is A Flat,
the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note
loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse
me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard
& taking it.

Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!" and then
calmly sit down and begin to type.


_____________________________________________


Why are they called apartments, when they're
all stuck together?