Cucuber, pickle and a penis have a conversation

ONE DAY A CUCUMBER, PICKLE AND PENIS WERE HAVING A CONVERSATION:

PICKLE SAYS:
"YOU KNOW MY LIFE REALLY SUCKS. WHENEVER I GET BIG FAT AND JUICY THEY SPRINKLE SEASONINGS OVER ME AND STICK ME IN A JAR."

CUCUMBER SAYS:
"YEAH YOU THINK THAT'S BAD, WHENEVER I GET BIG, FAT AND JUICY THEY SLICE ME UP AND THEY PUT ME OVER SALAD."

PENIS SAYS:
"YOU THINK THAT YOUR LIVES ARE TOUGH? WHENEVER I GET BIG, FAT AND JUICY, THEY THROW A PLASTIC BAG OVER MY HEAD, SHOVE ME IN A WET, DARK, SMELLY ROOM, AND FORCE ME DO PUSH-UPS UNTIL I THROW UP AND LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS!!