Application For Internship

White House Intern Employment Application

Name: _________________ (Optional)

Age:
Legal: __
Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer)

Sex:
Oral __
Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer)

Position applying for:
On top: __
Below: __
Behind: __
Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.)
______________________________________
______________________________________
______________________________________

Education Level:
You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __
Oral sex is not adultery __
You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __
It's not perjury if it's a civil case __
Less than five women isn't cheating __

Typing Speed: __ words per minute.
__ words per minute using only tongue.

Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose:
5 feet: __
10 feet: __
100 feet: __
Don't need garden hose: __

List other talents that you believe qualify you for
a White House position:
Above the waist:
______________________________________
Below the waist:
______________________________________
Kama Sutra:
Page number(s):
______________________________________

Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder?
No __
Grand jury alert __

Do you keep a diary?
No __
Yes __
If yes, do you lie to it?
______________________________________

How would you best describe your reasons for wanting
to work for the White House?
Serve my country __
Report what is going on to Hillary __
Join the Air Force One Mile High Club __

Previous Experience:
Hugh Hefner: __
Dallas Cowboys: __
Seventh Fleet: __
JFK: __
The Night Stalker __

Reason for leaving previous position?
Employer died in ecstasy __
Subpoena __
Death threat from employer's wife __
Boyfriend killed employer __
but it's OK. He still in jail __

References:
Gennifer Flowers __
Paula Jones __
Monica Lewinsky __
Janet Reno __
Ted Kennedy __
Ken Starr __
Sam Donaldson __

Where did you hear about this job?
Personal ad __
National Enquirer __
New York Times __
Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __
Dick Morris __
James Carville __ (We
are not responsible for the hundred
dollars he may promised you or
your trailer park!)
Phone number in bathroom __
Secret Witness Program __

============================================================
Employer use only:
Slick Wille | Little Wille | 1st Bitch
Loser __ | Loose lips __ | Bill __
OK __ | Deep Throat __ | Janet __
Oval Office __ | Zip Lock __ | Files __
Willie Room __ | Presidential Seal __ | My Place __