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alde
Joined: Jan 2, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-10-31 05:55:57 |
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Now I'm 20..from an early age itself i day dream a lot..mom had schizophrenia and behaved violently durn her ill spans.just to reduce my stress i imagine leading a happy life inspired 4m some movies .. when i watch any thrilling movies in tv i imagine that i was there in that movie playing a central role.i had a certain self-control earlier where i returned back to the present.. Amidst all those hectic moments i was good in academics,that was my only joy. But at 16 i just lost my self-control.i constantly keep living in my fantasy world with stories always running in my mind..moreover i began to make up some rituals to which i became addictive(ocd) like when i was preparing for my exams i suddenly felt that something was telling me "if i read this line 5 times only i will pass in this exam” like i need to think of a particular person's face to do good in exam,if i think of a person's face then my thoughts would be read by them..whenever i'm stressed these new compulsive actions r created and becomes more rigorous..Even when i need to get up i should think of something positive,else i feel something bad will happen.. i also procrastinate..bcoz when I study(i tend to think of a person's face while studying) and i can't concentrate in anything..the more i try to suppress these thoughts the more they emerge..can't tell to my father bcoz he's already upset with my mom's condition ..I just hate going to college.. studying.. eating..anything I feel very uncomfortable when i am amidst group of people..If i think i shouldn't think this I just keep thinking about that only..not able 2 control my thoughts.. i perform some actions repeatedly because something tells me that if i don't do like something bad can happen i'm not able to concentrate in a particular thought for more than a few minutes.immediately another thought rushes in my mind and all these things happen parllely in my mind.i have just lost my concentration and interest in everything and i'm just attending college for the sake of my parents .i feel very dejected if someone doesn't respond to me properly and immediately if something good happens i get excited(mood changes).i am imagining some conversations with my classmates and think that i have contacts with some great personalities. i want to be successfull in life but i'm just unable to start anything also..my mind is always full of negative thoughts whenever I start a work..i always have a care-free attitude..i fell happy in my fantasy world rather than the reality which is painful..I think about my few happy days and when i think about my current situation i feel miserable. I am unable trust anyone..don't feel like directly approaching a psychatrist..i'm afraid if i have to spend the rest of my life in medication like my mom..i've come 4m best to worst..i feel like nobody likes me..just hate living in this world.. often i feel like i want to end my life do i have more than 1 form of psychological disorder..plz tell what's wrong with me and what should i do.. |
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1_schizo_grl
Joined: Mar 15, '10
Status: Senior User |
2010-10-31 10:44:09 |
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I really don't know. Attending college for your parents' sake, doesn't help you or them. Find your own interests, and do what you enjoy. |
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ulquiorra
Joined: Aug 4, '09
Status: Senior User |
2010-10-31 14:13:01 |
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personaly i dont like much defently not school... soo perhaps a easy school and easy job if you have intrest outside work and school. thats what i did. i belive my grandma is szhizoprhenic but she refuses to go to docters and such and her husban dose everything for her if she needs to. even i my self had some forced things i had to do cause i pretended i had an imaginere gf. long story. its like beeing a god and having a god for me to have a gf. soo everytime i blinked i had to blink twice or with my other eye cause that was my gf sort of. anyways im very fine. youl make it true this. stay strong. take the actions you need to do. as for negative thoughts i was bothered by them for some time how much i hate school/work. well i just learned after awhile that to focus on that when i come home everythings is alrigth most times. and i belive you dont have to spend your life in a medical place if less its to severe to live your normal life. and function. thats all the advice i can give. take difrent paths new school new plan for life. making a plan of life off how it can be helped me. but all this depends on how succesfull you wanna be and succesfull in what ways. |
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ulquiorra
Joined: Aug 4, '09
Status: Senior User |
2010-10-31 14:32:33 |
| but tbh what if theres a personality disorder i land on its Schizotypal. i guess i fit in the general of it but with out beliving in any unatrual stuff. and almost all of the anxiety they have. but as it sais they make there own obsessions sortoff some and live by them. | |
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alde
Joined: Jan 2, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-11-02 06:30:10 |
| thanks 4 ur advice ulquiorra..As i said my mind is always full of negative thoughts,like if i want to do something to build my career i feel so anxious..bcoz of this new obsessions rise in my mind and if i dont perform them(like repeating some words or trying to avoid certain thoughts)i feel like i wont succeed..moreover if i dont obey these rules and if something goes wrong then i tend to think that 'since i didnt do it i am facing all these consequences..i just dont know how to overcome this | |
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ulquiorra
Joined: Aug 4, '09
Status: Senior User |
2010-11-02 09:42:53 |
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dont know if you gott anyone to help you out or somthing. someone who could be there when you need help. or try to find some other way to control your thoughts. like somthimes i have to use the devine as in a thought form to make my self alitle more intrested or active or to snap out of somthing. well i sortoff become this person who has to be obbsest everything but i managed to do it in a good way atleast. hope any of this helps. but just ask for somthing and il try to help >.< |
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alde
Joined: Jan 2, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-11-10 06:26:51 |
| some of my symptoms are similar to ocd,add and social anxiety.. my symptoms are getting to worsen more..i'm suffering a lot internally but i don't think my parents or friends were able to notice big differences in me..but i'm just unable to concentrate in anything and i feel so stressed and worthless..plz tell me if i say my symptoms to a doc can they diagnose and tell what is actually wrong with me..are there any specific scans to find it out.. | |
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