bezerk

moonprayer Joined: Jul 28, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-08-08 05:00:35
	hi, i'm numb, i'm novocain and nothing's real... yet, yesterday I went completly mad / bezerk. my boyfriend scared me, because he was pickin a fight on me... I was ignoring him, wich made him even more mad, en he started to throw something, meaning: I could not ignore him, I had t deal with it at that exact moment. and I cannot... result, I yelled, and hit him bold in the face. he didn't go away, I still had to deal with reality and I hit him several times. the devil in me I suppose. I have had this once before, but it was shorter, and less cruel towards my boyfriend. I am on zombie-modus now, I loath myself... I don't deal with stuff, and if I cannot walk away supposivly this happens? is that something you have expierenced as well? I'm ruining everything this way, I ruin everything anyway. sorry for the text spam, but this song is coming most close to my experience right now -staind schizophrenic conversations- Are you afraid Afraid of the truth In the mirror staring back at you The image is cracked But so is the view here And the strength of a tree Begins in the roots That I tend to bury into you At least now the storm Can't blow me away So crawl inside My head with me I'll show you how It feels to be To blame like me Should I be afraid Of this face that I see In the mirror staring back at me So cold were the days When I listened to you And you say that I'm weak So show me the proof Because I still exist inspite of you But I won't compete With you every day Schizophrenic conversations that I'm always having with myself. I hear these Voices in my head competing, maybe I could use a little help. I still have Schizophrenic conversations when there's no one else around to hear. I long for Solitude and peace within me, void of all the anger and the fear.
ireland Joined: May 1, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-08-08 06:47:07
	Moonprayer-What I see written all over in your post is a person that is aware of your personal reality and your illness. You may have had a setback that has disapointed you,but at least you understand this. It is very hard for other people to understand exactly what you are going through and this will cause them to become frustrated also,but it doesnt help you. There is support and advice available also for your family members etc,perhaps you could suggest that they find it. Like I said,keep going,I think you are doing well. x
moonprayer Joined: Jul 28, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-08-08 08:13:58
	I don't feel the way you describe. I am not aware, I'm very confused I don't know what help,...because I don't know what's wrong exactly. I don't know what illness I have, if I have one... any sugguestions
AggroD Joined: Jun 17, '10 Status: New User	2010-08-10 20:36:45
	I have trouble understanding you but I think your holding alot in and running away from your problems until it you get cornered into a wall and then you explode because you have no where left to run to. Also maybe you and your bf should take a break especially if you fight like that with eachother
Need to see a psychologist? Find reviews on the best doctors in your area at Angie's List (Get access to thousands of reviews for a small charge)

Copyright 2012, all rights reserved. View our Privacy Policy | Advertise With Us
DISCLAIMER: These forums are not a substitute for evaluation by a medical professional. By using these forums you agree to hold 4degreez.com unaccountable for anything posted by other visitors. There is no endorsement made nor vetting done on any content posted by a visitor. This service is presented as-is with no warrantees; use at your own risk.