I am losing it with my kids

Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-06-29 14:50:17
	Well, welcome back elizafauzana, long time no see. :)
elisafauzana Joined: Aug 27, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-06-30 01:20:27
	thanks, obs. glad to be here. been pretty busy at work lately.getting full hours. hardly could be online. thanks, shroud. i am not sure if i am 90% ahead, but i hope to be so. i try to be there for my son. he managed to advance to yellow stripe in tae kwan do the other day. i was so happy to be part of the contribution towards the advancement as i practised the sparrings with him at home.i don't do much, but by doing little things like this, i hope will be a help for my son to learn things, ease his life. because my childhood was pretty empty and neglected. my parents do the basic stuffs like feeding, then leave their children to grow up on their own,like you said. wont acknowledge achievement but belittle and curse when something happens otherwise.these all traumatised me. ripped me off and lowered my confidence, which till now i couldn't regain. i do not wish these happen to my son. i want him to be happy, confident, i want him to feel appreciated, feel i will always be there for him, feel secured, feel wanted, feel loved. i am sending him to summer camps for him to fill his holidays with fun activities and make new friends. i am not sure if whatever i do will make him a better person, but yes, i am trying to make a conscious attempt, make the choices that i hope will be good. i am not sure what will my son grow up to be, all my hope is that i make a good parent and he makes a good human being-good in everything he does.nothing is more rewarding to me than to see him succeed in his life.but i can only try, i cant be sure. i have seen my friends having 4-5 kids and complain of being tired and just leave their kids to play all day long, pretty much what my parents did. what my son is missing here is that he does not have brothers or sisters to play with and i am so much guilty about it. so most of the time, i will bring him to park and let him play with his friends. if finds no one, i will play with him.down inside, i terribly feel guilty that my son is lonely. but i do all i can to keep him company. being a parent is never easy. but it is rewarding.
Hip Joined: Aug 10, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-06-30 02:43:59
	"The flaw in the logic is the belief that everyone is smart enough to realize what being a parent actually means. =P Like they were really thinking about their future when they were screwing. Choice to have kids and rational thinking about having children is not the same thing." Yeah the problem remains that our species are just a step above braindead idiot monkeys that think with their dick. Women especially tend to be more emotional than rational. You would think that after the first unplanned fuck that they would smarten up. You think that the extreme pain involved in childbirth not to mention the 101 ailments/problems/diseases they could get during pregnancy would be discouraging. But no, hell fucking no. Its a little hard for a man to comprehend a woman's differing psyche, most notably their higher tolerance of pain and their high levels of oxytocin they release (highest during labor) which not only reduces pain greatly, but changes the way it is registered in memory later. Literally, the day of the childbirth they could say they never wanna go through that again, and the next day completely forget about it like it was nothing, and wont have a shred of rational concern until the moment it happens again. They dont think in terms of "K im 15, knocked up, I probably wont be able to take care of my kid, I know fuck-all about parenting, not to mention I risk seriously problems by continuing my pregnancy, even death. I'll get an abortion tomorrow." They think like "Im knocked up, and well... I dont know what to do. Yeah ill probably face problems but... I dunno I guess i just dont care as much. It would probably be wise to just get rid of it while i can but...I dunno I guess i wanna just wait and find out for myself what time has to offer, and see what happens. Im excited that im gonna be a mom in 9 months but also know the dangers of letting this go on at my age, so I guess im just blank. I dont know what to do. I need time to think, maybe a month and then ill get an abortion." Then in a month she waits another month, then another and keeps procrastinating until its too late. And when you think about the fact that the kid didnt have a say about his fatherless existence being under the mercy of his mother's selfish, emotionally-procrastinating idiotic train of thought, thats the part that is really fucking unjust. I dont know man.............
ireland Joined: May 1, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-06-30 11:35:55
	I am an unmarried mum of two from two different fathers,I live on state benefits.x
alisabashaw Joined: Jun 12, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-07-03 07:44:50
	Ok to be honest I stayed off of this forum for days because it was really annoying me that I was getting hit for all sides with negativity. First off I want my children. That night I was frustrated and stressed out with my middle child and I needed to vent just a little with a group that understands some of the issues that are occurring in my head more than others. I work very hard at being a good parent. Yes no one FORCED me to have kids. But I did what I was suppossed to. I waited till I was married to have sex and have children. I just needed some place to vent. I didn't need to be called a whore and slammed like that. You don't know me and you don't know my situation or what I am going through so I think what you did was totally uncalled for. As for the other mothers out there. Thank you. My whole family situation is in turmoil right now and a night out by myself a week isnt feasible. But you know what I am married and am going on 11 years here in August and have children from all the same father. We live in a house and have food on the table. We love eachother alot and our children so all in all I think that we aren't doing that bad
Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-07-03 07:59:22
	Of course you will get negative responses, most people her does not relate to you in the situation. They relate to your kids. Because bad parenting is probably the biggest reason for people to come to this forum to begin with. :P
Hip Joined: Aug 10, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-07-03 11:06:09
	LOL, very observant Obs =D
GGrass Joined: Jul 7, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-07 01:21:51
	To Alisa : Complaining about the hardship of raising kids on the internet is nothing. If you got things to vent, vent here on the internet. It's WAY better than venting it on the kids. For this, you are a good mother. I registered to this place, just to say this.
GGrass Joined: Jul 7, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-07 01:24:41
	To Hip : In my opinion, what you said was exactly what she needed. A little kick in the ass. And I'm sorry about your situation. I'm sure you needed your say.
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