I'm new here (schizoid, i think)

THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-10 17:12:39
	I am in 10th grade, and have finally decided to get a 2nd opinion on whether or not im schizoid. Though I see no downside in continuing on my current path, if your admittedly less than professional opinions corroborate mine. here is an account of all the information that i deem relevant: I stopped having noticeable emotions in late 6th grade. what brought this on then is unknown to me, as the traumatic experience that is said to occur was prior to this. I suppose it shouldn't matter, seeing as nowhere did it say that the aforementioned occurrence was incident to the beginnings of noticeable symptoms. However, it would be nice to know if anything usually happens externally at the onset of this "disorder". Although I've read another post on the subject of diagnosis, i would like to recount all my symptoms together, with descriptions. As before stated, I feel very little. I put on a show for others, acting far less intelligent than I am, though on occasion my thoughts are too hard to articulate without my rather eccentric prose. My reason for the charade is quite simple: though I am not motivated by peoples opinions of my self or any other matter (barring those few people who I think are.. I'm unsure of how to describe it, but perhaps deserving of my heeding them), I continue wearing an ever changing mask of smiles and frowns. While I don't particularly care for the people, with out them life would grow to be far more dull. After my finding people's apparent revolt at my numbness (I overheard someone saying it was as though I was a monster of some sort. I believe it was a zombie.), I chose to simply build a facade of careless youth. At the same time, I decided to hide any intelligence/ competence from all but family, though family was still given a fake personality, that i could avoid being put in therapy, or any other measure that I suspect was being prepared for me lest i quickly got "better". It should be said that my family wasn't given a fake personality until late 7th grade. at the end of seventh grade I moved. I also moved in the middle of eighth grade. late 9th grade i again moved (this is only relevant in showing that my current friends are new. This shouldn't really be relevant, however, because this began before i moved). I have a large-ish group of freinds that i sit with during lunch. none of these are seen outside of school in any regularity. I also have a rocker type friend that i am considering telling of my flatness of emotions. Seeing as low sex drive seems to be a pillar of the schizoid, I believe that it should be known that I don't really look for sex, though it is readily available to me because of my looks and likable "personality". In fact, on Thursday a rather hot girl sat next to me on a bench and sighed, before flirting with me. If there are any relevant points which I have not yet touched or require further flushing out. I did not proofread, so there may be flaws in spelling or grammar.
TwistedRose Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-10 17:19:16
	You sound to be like every other teenage boy I've met, but I tend to surround myself with really weird people so that doesn't say much. In a way I understand how you feel, I guess. You should get help though, I know it can be hard to reach that step on your own, but I think it would be best.
THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-10 17:26:48
	I also love art (esp. music), if that is at all relevent. I may sound kind of paranoid, though i am not
THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-10 17:36:07
	I said I don't want help. I see nary a reason to get help. And most teenagers put on a charade because they care what others think. My reasons differ from that. But thank you for posting.
moonprayer Joined: Jul 28, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-04-12 07:47:18
	I don't see it yet. flatness of emotions, little friends, low sexdrive...but im no convinced yet. since english is not my native language, I don't understand the part of your traumatic expierience? did you had one? else you could also check the symptons of post straumatic stress syndrome. it also has treats of emotional flatness. and more things that could be similair to schizoid.
sWesley Joined: Mar 22, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-04-12 08:36:56
	You sound awesome :D All seriousness, take care of your charades/"masks" so you don't end up having ACTUAL different personalities instead of purposely acting differently when with other people. I don't like that you're acting dumber, but, hey, that makes socializing so much easier as you don't say what you think. And since you're in the 10th grade I'm assuming you're 16-17. Most are "scared" of sex at that age, but, of course, teen boys act sexually interested :P
Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-04-12 08:45:53
	Sounds like some people think that schizoid PD can be related to intelligence. The average schizoid person has average intelligence or below. Pseudo Schizoids is usually above average intelligence tough.
moonprayer Joined: Jul 28, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-04-12 08:51:35
	i have average intelligence. but it comes more to reason I think. uhm, I mean reasoning, down to earth kind of things.
THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-12 15:16:36
	I do not have few friends. I have one person who is close to what I would consider to be a friend, but other than this I have a fairly large group of people with whom I socialize. I did not mean to infer that intelligence was in any way a prerequisite for being schizoid. I was just mentioning it as it is one of the major things I alter in order to maintain a group of friends more easily, allowing me to avoid being put into therapy. I do not fear sex. I've had sex before and I am above average in the relevant areas. It is simply not enough to drive me to do much, if anything. Plus I hate being touched. I did not explain what happened to me (it was from like 6 or 7 to 9 or 10) as the actual event seems immaterial. rather, it would appear to me that the simple existence of such an incident is what matters. Also, my mother is never home, if that matters. In what way do i sound awesome?
four Joined: Feb 17, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-04-12 15:40:25
	I'm curious about your post Obsidian, do you mean to say that people with above average intelligence who think they're schizoid probably aren't? and on the note of intelligence, I'm still pegged as the "nerd" who always knows the answer but there are times when I pretend not to know or understand something in order to get people to stop talking to me about it, so I guess I act "dumber" sometimes too
Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-04-12 15:47:38
	Not all but most, pseudo-schizoid is rather a character type which may look like schizoid PD but isn't. They will also score high on DSM-IV.
Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-04-12 15:53:12
	When psychiatrists give a person the diagnosis schizoid before the age of 20 for an example, the person probably is pseudo-schizoid.
THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-12 16:40:32
	I have read the pseudo-schizoid description and it is closer to me, except that I feel far less than the description which I read ([no urls]) seems to say I would feel, among other things. I'm am by and large numb. I have little to no drive, my grades are only good because I instantly remember what i read and math is extremely easy. I do love art. I believe i have intelligence slightly higher than the norm (i may very well be wrong), due to my scoring routinely in 95th percentile for standardized tests, and due to my ability to instantly remember things, do math i have not yet learned (got a b on a 12th grade math test i took last year in order to get dual credit for an engineering class), and grasp central themes/ how things work more quickly than most. I suppose you people could guess by the way I type, though math is my strong suit (in grade 11/ honors math). Also, I got INTE when i took a personality test in the initial stages of my search for a reason to not have emotions, if this is relevant. Maybe I'm just an extremely introverted individual bereft of feeling. Obsidian, that was a very good observation.
THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-12 16:59:13
	I feel that this needs clarified: I love art for the stimulation. I love thinking through a symphony, some a tribe called quest, or sculptures (fave).
THE1337 Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-12 17:59:27
	I meant intp.
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