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becca
Joined: Aug 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-23 07:45:02 |
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I have found this site after reading a lot about narcissism. My question is very complex. First a little history. My husband is the first sgt of a national guard unit. He has been deployed to Iraq 2 times and was on his 3rd deployment. The morning he was to litterally step on the plane, he felt like he was having a heart attack. He was sent to a hospital with angry outbursts angina, high blood pressure. He spent 2 days going through tests. He was sent back home, unable to go to iraq, for (what his mental health papers stated was anxiety and mood disorder). He has now been seen 1 time by VA psychiatrist where at the end of the hour he felt my husband suffered from narcissism. We are baffled by how he came to the conclusion. After reading on the DSM IV criteria he doesn't have any of the traits. He expressed his stress level was high with his troops (is in a leadership position has to make sure his soldiers are trained) Felt guilt to the fact he was not over there with them. Is happy with himself (not depressed) had a good childhood, family life now. Has irritability at times (more than when he wasn't deployed) Likes his job. Has trouble with lack of energy, sleeps more than he used to, headaches and how he feels his medication makes him sick to his stomach. No formal testing was done. I feel this VA doctor does not understand the military. It is a fine tuned machine from general to private. Everyone has a job that needs to be done and done correctly. It isn't that he is "superior or feels superior" He is their leader and has to lead them that I feel he thought he was narcissistic. He has never had a problem with social, occupational or family life. He is a bit more short tempered than he used to be. Has empathy, doesnt look down to anyone, drives a 15 year old car, puts his family always before him (except when the military calls on him) I have been married to him for 24 years and know him well. I am not afraid of him, trust him with everything. And have a happy marriage. He has a time communicating how he is feeling at times but he has a lot on his mind also. Has a large social circle, and is fun to be around. No one has said anything negative about his actions (except this darn VA doctor)He is cordial, polite, dresses accordingly, avoids attention (won't even accept thanks from people for his service) How can a narcissist come from this? I believe he had an anxiety/panic attack getting on that plane. He also had a horrific experience last time he was deplooyed to iraq. Could it be more PTSD? |
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Unanswered Thread: What to do?! posted by Jeanine 1 hour ago |
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delamottemh
Joined: Aug 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-24 13:59:44 |
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Hi Becca - I'm a psychologist. I've seen many cases of PTSD and quite a few military and ex-military people. Firstly, let me say that PTSD is vastly over-diagnosed - which is unfair to those people who have the problem and really suffer. Once you've seen true PTSD you never forget it. You don't give sufficient information for an accurate diagnosis and in any case this would not be the way to do things. Why I wanted to post a response is that I do think you should seek a second opinion for your husband. He does appear to have psychological and physiological situational responses which would satisfy one of the main diagnostic criteria for PTSD. If your poor husband does indeed have PTSD or Adjustment Disorder, which would be another possibility -then it is not something he can "get over" on his own - and he needs to stop blaming himself or feeling ashamed. PTSD does not happen to "weak" people...it's just misfortune. If you truly understand what PTSD is and its horrendous intensity then you see "weak" doesn't come into the picture. PTSD is a response to a situation in which the individual felt a threat of death or serious harm to himself or others which made him feel vulnerable and powerless - even the experts seem to not grasp this. I hope you find a sensible and sympathetic MD or psychologist to help you. May I take this opportunity to urge all the brave firefighters, ambulance drivers, police and military who have recurrent nightmares, don't feel they are "pulling their weight" - keep snapping at the spouse and kids etc - please, find someone to help you and get your life back. |
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becca
Joined: Aug 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-25 04:50:32 |
| Thank you. You mentioned adjustment disorder in your response. This is interesting because when he came back from his second deployment (the one where he did have an experience with an ambush where 3 soldiers had passed away) he was seen by a VA psychologist then where he did do testing and came to the diagnosis of "chronic adjustment, with mixed mood and anxiety". It was not enough for full anxiety disorder because he was not having more symptoms then. Now he is having the anxiety attacks. I myself am leaning towards the anxiety, possibly PTSD, but he will not express his deeper feelings. The military does this to the soldiers. That is how they want it. We will seek another opinion, but unfortunately it is in his medical records and he is very upset by this. He does not trust VA anymore. It will have to be at our own expense unfortunatly, but we will. I have also read so much on how they are pinning the personality disorders on military soldiers to get out of the responsiblity of paying for their treatment. Please google, you would find it interesting. Thank you again. | |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 14 days ago |
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