am i really a Narcissist?

Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-04-25 16:50:06
	"i guess icant really base my whole mental sanity on a personality quiz" You guess? I believe that if you are going to take a test, then you need to perform a full validity banked personality test. I think you might wish to visit a clinical psychologist (Board certified) and ask about the MMPI-II updated to include the Colligan-Morey-Offord scales as a personality test. I personally believe that you are far too involved with self to be doing any thinking of self at this time and any decisions being made with that mind will not be healthy ones. But first you need to be specifically questioned and by clinical diagnostics. That is if you truly want to lessen the degree of your character traits. You do not know where you are, and this is the reason for your two minds and fence jumping vacillation. And so far, you are getting no help for this reason. And no, you are not an awful person. You are a person who needs help as we all do. Some more, some less, but all do. No one is a bulwark against life by themselves. It is why married people live longer than single people. They are taken care of better, have better intimacy, etc.
Cindy Joined: Mar 22, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-04-25 16:58:38
	Coleen, just breath. You must stop telling yourself ou are awful for starters. You SHOULD give yourself about 9 or 10 compliments for ever slam you think about yourself. You are worthy of love and you deserve every good and healthy word that is sent your way. You are feeling down about something in particular, I am betting and you are probably acting out because of the amount of stresses in your life. Again, breath deeper. We all have our hard times. We are all in pain at times for one reason or another. You are human. So what that you get jealous? You can overcome that demon. You can try to see the goodness in those loud girls. I am a loud girl, by the way and you know why? I was not heard nor was I liked as a child. I was bullied, to tell the truth. I cried for 2 years in grade school. That is neither here nor there, but I am showing yuo that those loud girls are loud for a reason, maybe. I am histrionic, a bit. Now, I have found secrets to a form of popularity and use it to be heard and liked. It feeds my child and I have had to hearn to LISTEN and think of others, but it took time. I am just saying, maybe those loud girls actually want to be your friend and could loudly or quietly give you some time and understanding.
Ally9 Joined: May 6, '10 Status: New User	2010-05-06 19:02:43
	wow. lets everyone just attack the girl who was only trying to figure something out. you guys are all f***** asses. screw this forum, there is no way in HELL i am narcissistic. that personality test was SO wrong. get off your frickin high horses. geez.
Ally9 Joined: May 6, '10 Status: New User	2010-05-06 19:03:50
	& Derrick, SHUT THE f--- UP.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-05-08 14:11:18
	@ Ally, Clearly you have no ability to moderate your own thinking and responses.
LadyStardust Joined: Aug 20, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-05-16 13:06:11
	"actually want to know if i have a disorder or not and need help" Then what the hell are you doing here?
Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-05-16 16:38:08
	>LadyStardust Who said that this site was for help only? It's a discussion forum for people with disorders or people whom think they might have one or have people close to them with it.
SouLCruSHeR Joined: May 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-05-23 01:19:29
	@ColleenMargaret, please don't be embarrassed by these people and what they have said to you. I, for one, think it was extremely brave of you to come on here and post (what you consider) your faults. I also think that these people on this forum have indeed judged you, and as far as their judging skills go, they've just about topped it off, and raped you hard by judging you so much. I think that's total BS and you are just a high school girl trying to get a good sense of who you are, and a hold of your mental problems, which btw, is very healthy of you and bravo for taking the steps in the right direction. The answer to your question is very basic: NO! You do not have any problems, any more than any high school girl your age has to deal with. I am 25 years old, a female, and a mother of my angel of light. I was severely depressed all throughout high school for multiple reasons. I was sexually abused by my uncle (he was 11 and I was 3 when it started and lasted, on and off again, until I was about 10 years of age) and didn't tell anyone about it because of the tremendous sense of guilt and shame us sexual abuse victims feel and go through, all through our lives. I was in AP classes, and on the honor's list, I graduated with honors and have not been back to school. I got pregnant when I was 20 years old and decided to keep my baby. She has helped me in so many ways, she will never know how much she has helped me. She changed me from a person who was utterly disgusted with herself, from being sexually abused, to being bipolar (was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18 after a botched suicide attempt, which left me with 3 inch scars across the inside of my left wrist) from pusing away everyone who loved me, from being a narcissistic person (even though I had extremely low self-esteem) to being a person who feels now that I am worth of being loved and to love people in return. I found the man of my dreams, through years of trying, I was beaten, abused mentally, physically, emotionally and my soul was scarred by men. When I broke the cycle of dating losers, and got to a place mentally where I litterally could not take it anymore, couldn't take the abuse by men, and told my self, "Damn it, I deserve better", and had my child to raise, the RIGHT way, with both a mommy and a daddy who didn't harm mommy in any way, I choose to end the f---ing abuse and live the right way, as God intended for each and every one of us to do so, if and when we realize there is a wrong way as well as a right way to live. I used to be just like you, if not worse, because I choose to medicate my bipolar depression, guilt and shame of being abused as a child, and tried pills, and marijuana, alcohol, etc.... to dull and numb my emotions. I have tried to kill myself, I have been there. I ran around for years feeling like I didn't know who in the hell I was and why in the hell I just couldn't "get" happy. A correct diagnosis is key to your getting better. I was diagnosed with everything from adult ADHD, to depression, to bipolar. I have seen psychiatrist since I was 18 year old, and my Dr. was Dr. Starbranch, who was Andrea Yates Dr., I live in Houston, TX. She was the only one who correctly diagnosed me, and then started me on anti-depressants. Now, if they work for you, great, take them. They did nothing for me but dull the pain, and in turn they numbed my happiness too. It's one thing to take a pill and not feel sad anymore, it's quite another to take one and not be able to feel joy as well. T'hell with that! I have been living, working, raising my child who is now 5, married to my wonderfully supportive, sensitive and understandind Godsend of a mate, for 2 years now and before him, I was a single, working mother who was just barely hanging on. For me, I needed to get away from the past and people that hurt me in it. I dropped all the druggie friends (who weren't really my friends to begin with) and men who were just using me sexually, to get better, to find that one mate, and I was fortunate enough to find mine. Not everyone does, and not everyone wants to, not everyone is ready for the deep spiritual and emotional committment that a working marriage of two willing participants requires. I get that. I used to be that person, but it was detrimental to my well-being as a woman, as a person, as a whole and I needed to love and to be loved in return, to break down those walls I spent years putting up, and to give my child the healthy, happy, mommy she so desperately deserved and needed. I got my act together, started talking therapy (psychotherapy) where we talk and discuss how I am feeling, what triggers me, what trigger are, and how to cope. The most important thing you need to learn is coping skills. Because, it's not so much what we do when we're angry, it's all about how we handle the angry emotions and feelings that seperates us from "normal" people. And, I'd like to know, who (out of the 9 billion people on this planet) would be considered "normal" when everyone but Jesus, is flawed and NOT perfect. In fact, most are FAR from it. I stopped the anti-depressant medication, because I know it's more healthy to FEEL things and to cope with them afterwards. Talking about what makes me angry, sad, happy, etc is what works for me, not only talking to my mate, my family and real friends, but to a licensed professional who has the ability to assess and help me too. I stopped the meds because I didn't want chemicals to help me be me. I already have a chemical imbalance in my brain, I didn't need any more chemicals to make me feel crazier. That is what works for me. I've been off bipolar meds for about 7 years now, and finally I am where I need to be, mentally stable. It took me having a child of my own to guide into adulthood, and seperating from people who hurt me, to get to a healthy place, mentally. Just do what works for you. If that means, 12 step programme, if it means you take MAOI's or anti-depressants, if it means you need to talk to someone, DO it, but DO it before it's too late. And, unfortunately, most people with mental disorders, like myself, choose to kill themselves, and not get the help that they so sorely are lacking before it's too late. That, to me, is the s---tiest thing one can to. No one is going to help you, the way you can help yourself, and that's the conclusive statement I was trying to make, with making this statement.
Dahlia Joined: May 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-05-23 22:40:45
	Wow. You sound EXACTLY like me in high school. (Granted, high school wasn't so long ago. I'm only 20, so probably not much older than you.) And yes, I'll admit it, I'm a narcissist. First off, there's something you need to understand: This forum contains many people with many different issues and they aren't all going to relate. So naturally, some people are going to rag on you for your narcissistic tendencies. You can't make them understand, so don't try. All you can do is prove that you're as awesome as you think you are, by being mature and taking it in stride. That being said, there isn't much anyone can do for you. In regards to the narcissism, that is. I've found that "treating" narcissism is purely internal. It's something that you have to work out for yourself. Mostly, it's a lot of thinking about yourself, which I know people like you and I have no trouble with. >_< And you can't really treat it, actually. What you can do is... - Come to terms with it. (Believe it or not, you can accept you have a problem without forcing or faking humility. But it takes a lot of emotional balance and self awareness. Learn about the disorder, identify the ways in which it affects you and your life, and decide where to go from there.) - Try to reign it in a little. (This is probably the hardest part. You don't necessarily have to fight your narcissism. I accept mine. It's mostly a matter of refining it. Refining yourself, in a way. And learning to live with your superiority complex. It's part of your personality. Mold it to fit. This probably means toning it down a bit, which is daunting. But really, you just have to accept that most people will always seem like idiots to you. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy their company. Appreciate what you can in people, disregard what you can't. And try to understand that there's always someone wiser than you. But you don't have to take that straightforward. The person that I've decided is wiser than me, is my future self. I always think I'm the s**t, but every year I realize that I really wasn't before. So it's safe to assume that next year, I won't think I was as great this year, as I think I am right now. You get it? It's my way of staying humble as a narcissist. If you find a way of thinking that suites your narcissism, without letting it run wild, you'll be just fine.) - And ensure that it isn't interfering with your happiness or the happiness of those you care about. (In other words, try to keep your behavior in check. Make sure your ego isn't causing problems for yourself, your family, or your friends. Again, it takes a LOT of self awareness and even some humility, but if your disorder is causing problems, you need to rethink how you handle it.) Anyways, I hope this helped a bit. PS - It's against my better judgment to befriend another narcissist, but if you wanna talk about it or anything, we could trade e-mails. Good luck.
Hip Joined: Aug 10, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-05-23 23:21:49
	To add to dalhi's post. One key problem with narcissism is the phobia of modesty. As soon as you open up and admit youre a dipshìt, you realize you cant act all grand-up anymore in the future. You admitted there is something you dont know after all, and you are willing to be educated. But your first impulse isnt to learn and get skills, its the fact that you are forced to realize there is someone that knows something you dont, so being the neurotic motherf---er you are, you lose your grandiose sense of superiority, your inalienable right to demand respect. In short, you now feel worthless, which is why you would never get into a situation like this in the first place. If anyone knew that this is how your head works, they would laugh and thank god they arent as ludicrous as you. To reverse this and give yourself a little bit self-therapy, try to attain information and educate yourself in a way where you dont have to practice modesty. Self-educate, ask on the internet with an anonymous ID and you dont have to worry about anyone in real life knowing that it was you being so open and acting relatively human behind that anonymous username. I posted and asked questions all the time on the Chemistry forum on TOTSE, which is where I got a large portion of my knowledge from and helped me become the successful amateur chemist that I am. Surprisingly, the better informed I got, the more my narcissistic traits dropped. Being smarter and better educated means you already know you are better than your detractor, so you dont gotta prove it or put up a bulls--- grandiose act anymore. If he wants to learn, he can learn the hard way, provided the dumbs--- would even grasp what glucopyranoside can do to his car engine. You still disrespect idiots of course, but at least now you dont have to be one anymore.
Shanie Joined: Jun 27, '10 Status: New User	2010-06-27 14:08:45
	I think you could be right, but you are young and sometimes telling people you are a certain way or just associating yourself with a foreign group of people is a way of coping.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-06-27 14:27:14
	"It's against my better judgment to befriend another narcissist, but if you wanna talk about it or anything, we could trade e-mails." Why do you go against your better judgment Dahlia? That sounds interesting.
CosmoAwesmo Joined: Jun 20, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-06-27 14:28:08
	*rolls over onto his back, exposes his throat*
carlerrr Joined: Jun 29, '10 Status: New User	2010-06-29 10:32:41
	Lmao caring? Nonononononoooooo You can't be caring then cold What are you bi polar? Great liar?? your discription of yourself Is a GREAT lie and a terrible one at that....
Dahlia Joined: May 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-10 16:08:45
	@Derrick - I suppose it's because, if I never went against my better judgment, life just wouldn't be as much fun. Sometimes doing something stupid and reckless is worth the risk. Yes, befriending another narcissist could end horribly. But I'd do it anyways, for the (admittedly somewhat small) chance that we could be good friends or somehow help each other.
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