what has being narcisssistic cost you?

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Thread Topic: what has being narcisssistic cost you?

fightclub Joined: Apr 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-04-10 23:16:05
	well I just diognosed myself as narcissistic among other things, and I realize it has cost me my relationship I had with my girlfriend, mother of my child, I was always trying to fix her or make her better, she had bad habbits, was sloppy with leaving clothes around, and dishes, and we constantly fought about this, I grew up in a house of a hoarder, my mother was a newspaper hoarder, and father couldnt let thinfgs go (trash) so I thought this was why, I percieved her untidyness as mistreating me I am not excactly the clean freak either, this was our main dilemma, another issue was her size she got big after the baby, and stretch marks, I always tried to get her to excersize, and I truly believed If I was happy we would be happy, was I out of line to hold her up to such a high standard? any way we have been split for 2 years now, and I have always still have had sex with her, even with her being in new relationships, I kept thinking she was gonna eventually come back to me when she was improved, I see now I may have had some issues of my own, now she is in a serious relationship with someone, and wont even talk to me, or spend anytime with me, I havent felt this bad since I was 18 and lost my other serious gf,
haart Joined: Oct 17, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-04-11 07:47:32
	Narcissism hasn't cost me anything. I'd recommend it to everyone. And I don't think you did anything unforgivable to your ex.
LadyStardust Joined: Aug 20, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-05-16 16:21:57
	"diognosed myself as narcissistic " oh please
tyciol Joined: May 22, '10 Status: New User	2010-05-22 17:43:40
	Oh c'mon LS you know self-diagnosis is all the rage these days, we can't ignore that people are tempted to do it. It lets them get insight into what we've learned of the mind. Even if someone doesn't totally fit enough symptoms to satisfy a diagnosis, one can make analogies and comparisons and learn better behaviour. Surely tis better to do so proactively than wait until one reaches a full-out problem at which point they may not be receptive to the idea of one existing. I concur with hart, what was done seems like something that could be forgiven. To hasten that though... one can change. For example, I think it's fully right that if someone has bad habits, sloppiness, uncleanliness, it's good to try and correct this. The main thing is how we go about trying to affect this. Arguments and fights aren't ideal here, is all about the calm polite conversations and so forth. You can be stern but train empathy to sense when someone is moody. At such point they get defensive, irrational and combative, one should try to engineer a different mood in them before progressing or it likely won't have the desired result. OMG is like I am treating people like objects, is that psychopathy? But... seems a lot like how therapists work =-O
Dahlia Joined: May 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-05-23 22:56:35
	For me, narcissism is taxing, emotionally. But it hasn't cost me any relationships or anything like that.
Shanie Joined: Jun 27, '10 Status: New User	2010-06-27 20:18:09
	Well I have lost many friends due to the way I treated them, or so they said. More so recently than in the past. I personally believe that they simply could not handle me. Some people won't live up to your standards, and if that is the case..then it has an affect on both parties. But you don't need each other then. I don't mean you and your girlfriend, I mean relationships in general.
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