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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-14 10:44:18 |
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I think the line is drawn where the subject forgets his/her limits and keeps going in denial. If you got the highest IQ in the world then you probably have a right to be arrogant about it since its a fact nobody else is smarter than you. But if youre an illiterate cocksucker from Kentucky and you honestly believe you are worth something, then you ARE f---ed in teh head. Personally, im aware of my skills and that I'm ahead of a lot of people, but I do acknowledge there are better ones out there. I would never admit this in public though, because I love it when I leave the impression on people that I'm something more than I actually am because it reminds them what worthless f---s they are. It pisses them off, and I love it. So I guess I qualify as a narcissist, oh well. |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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MissM
Joined: Aug 31, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-14 13:13:08 |
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Hi Gypzi Hope you're well. I've been recommended a book called 'The Sociopath Next Door' which I will buy online tonight. I'm quite anxious about reading it - more because I don't want to end up making him fit the description. |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-14 18:51:48 |
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Hello MissM. I have been away for the weekend and has not had the effort to answer you. As you se I have some interaktion with Kez too. Unfortunally there is something wrong with my computer too. It appeares that the picture slowly vannishes, so therefor I am in a hurry to write to you, while I still can. Will return to you when I have got it fixed. I have thought a lot about your questiones though and have a hard time finding out what I would do or say if I were in the possition you suggested. Hi from Denmark. |
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MissM
Joined: Aug 31, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-15 14:05:22 |
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Hello Gypzi from the UK. Thanks for you reply. I really hope you get your computer sorted out and it doesn't cost you a fortune. I look forward to hearing from you again soon. |
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narcissistgirl
Joined: Sep 15, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-15 19:44:50 |
| i just discovered that im a narcissist i always thought like im too good im too smart i think im smart that's true i go to a good college and people always tell me im smart but i think people made me a narcissist they always show me admiration and i dunno. i have bipolar depression too i dunno what to do but i just like to share that with people maybe someone can help me and tell me what to do | |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-16 15:48:16 |
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Answer to MissM. Now let me see if I have got your question right. You sort of want to make my self put in his place, having admitted being a narcissist as I have. In order to find out of what is going on in his head? Or to find out how bad a narcissist I am? Other reason? I find it extremely hard to put my self in his place, judging him as I am. Ill try to answer though. My other relationships being exposed (serious or not) and being full aware that it is wrongdoing to you having more relationships at a time. I am probably kind of ashamed of my self and also in serious trouble because the truth has come to your knowledge. You are probably scolding me a lot, which is hard for me to take, and at the same time I makes me angry. So what do I do to protect my self? I go back to my old pattern, being afraid of facing consequences as I have always been (since my childhood). My old pattern serves several purposes. To protect my self from facing concequenses and to protect my self from being rejected and the following feeling of abandomness . (I am sort of not quite adult emotionally.) The pattern is both kind of a game which earlier has served for protection from getting emotionally hurt. It seams naturally to me that you are confused (now I am no longer putting my self in his place). His reaction makes no sense to you. His reaction is designed to make you feel bad. As a child he might have to manipulate like that to get any attention and were actually getting away with it. His way of being has nothing to do with you. What I do think you should consider: He has other relationships, which he has kept you from knowing. (Serious relationships or no) His view of woman is not healthy. His attention for you was not adequate. He is patronising you and hurting you. Probably more points to be added. Is this the kind of relationship that you want? You ask me if I think he is a narcissist. Well from what you have told me, I seriously do. He is definitely damaged in some way. I know you are terrible attached to him emotionally. He has got under your skin, which is exactly what narcissists do. But you have to get a hold of your self and firmly consider how you will allow others to treat you. |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-18 09:43:45 |
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Hello. Is there anybody who also are dealing with this PC problem when staying on certan pages? (this page amongst others: It seams as if the screen slowly gets covered up by a total white page from the buttum. Plese. |
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MissM
Joined: Aug 31, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-19 15:21:33 |
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Gypzi, thank you so much for trying to step into his shoes so to speak. I guess I invested a great deal in him emotionally when I felt 'safe' with him. Now it's hard to un-invest unless I accept every single thing he told me was a lie, i.e. him being cheated on multiple times by his ex, his kind and laid back nature in person, his being hurt by her betrayal... In person he is very different to how he is via text. Is this strange? He has never been unkind or disrespectful to my face, as such. He saved that for when I was at a distance and he couldn't see my face or deal with me in person. You say his reaction was designed to hurt me. He knows I was in an unfaithful relationship for many years (I thought it was something we shared and understood). My god, did he take some sort of pleasure in acting out with me what his ex did to him? I didn't scold him when I confronted him, I wasn't even angry. Just very quiet and almost lost for words. So he had no need to feel threatened. This is why I don't understand why he would want to hurt me further. A simple 'look I'm sorry, I screwed up. This isn't what I want though' from him would have ended it just ok for me. I would have healed or at least started to heal. My attempts to reconcile in an unthreatening, undemanding way seemed to make things worse! Knowingly torturing me with silence really does not fit with my 'crime'. I suppose I should be glad he didn't respond badly to my accidental text of 2 weeks ago. He just ignored it. I have been told that narcissists don't really 'let you go' - they want to keep you hanging on, thinking about them.. and then they come back at some point. Does this make sense to you? I will share something that really struck me deeply the last time we saw each other. I didn't give it much conscious thought at the time. After we had talked about what I had found in his phone, and after he had tried to 'comfort' me with his explanation and embraces, he said to me 'are you having a baby?'. I was shocked at his question and said no. So he repeated it 'you are, you're having a baby aren't you'. And what struck me was a gut feeling that he wanted it to be true. His tone of voice, his choice of words just added to this feeling. A scornful way of saying it would have been 'don't tell me you're pregnant' or something similar - but he wasn't scornful at all. Maybe where a narcissist has no empathy, I have far too much. I know he is very hurt that he doesn't live with his two little boys, that his ex destroyed their relationship and took a lot of money from him as well as his family and his house. I just feel for him. I don't want him back if he is so deeply damaged. It just hurts that he apparently hates me so much and won't even acknowledge that I am reaching out to him. Do you have any thoughts, particularly, on how/why he asked if I was having a baby? By the way, you are right that I must consider how I allow others to treat me. If I had as much empathy for me as I have for him, it would be a start. |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-19 21:28:53 |
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Hello again MissM My PC is s still not OK. So I write in Word and kopi it into N forum. What I answer to you is what I think while I read your letter. Having reread my answer to you, I found that it might seam harsh and shallow, but I can assure you that it isn’t the purpose. I am simply trying to point out some facts to you. (Coming from someone who resently has experienced being abandoned from a boyfriend) Anyway. Here it comes: Of cource you have invested a great deal emotionally in him. You must realise that when you fall in love with someone you invest as much emotional energy in him as you did in your originally primary person. (Your mother or father). Perhaps your primary relations weren’t too healthy? (In Denmark we have a book, titled: “Woman who loves too much” (I don’t have the author right here). It explains why some women attaches with the wrong kind of men. (Abusers, disturbed and so on) It definitely has something to do with their primary relations and self-esteem. You notice that you take much more care of others than in your self, well it is the way you know to take care of your self. By investing in others you hope to regain some affection/attention/ love, but it doesn’t always succeed. From what I read in your letter, it appears to me that you think way too much about what is said and done. You try to figure out what is going on inside of him. If you had said and done one thing or another, things might have bin different. Bin there done that. You can think and analyse till your head explode, but it serves no purpose. You wonder whether this and that because of him deliberately want to hurt you in some particularly situation. It is spinning around in your head and your gut and it seams as if it is impossible to think of anything else. It is very painfully. You wonder about his motives for several things, that he has said and done to you, but I truthfully think that it has absolutely nothing to do with you. As I mentioned before, it is the outcome of his typically pattern. Saying so I am aware how much it hurts when I tell you that it has absolutely nothing about to do with you. Probably affects the fact that in your mind he has had a lot of affection for you. (Maybe he has some affection, but in a twisted way). I know the feeling, but some of it is in our imagination when we fall in love. This very difficult face of a broken relationship is very painful, but you are only tormenting yourself by analysing further. Something you will never know anyway. I am pretty sure I know how you feel at this face you are in. He is in your mind all the time. You fantasize that he watches every step you take. You have this constant inner dialogue with him. Most people you look at the street remind you of him. Some music you hear, something somone say…. It is indescribably painful. I don’t know whether it is possible to distract one self from it or if it is a face that you just have to get though. I have been through something alike resently. It is a sorrow and your body and mind reacts similar to it. It is also the same thing that has happened to you. You have lost someone, which you have identified as your new primary objects. So you got to make space to morn. It takes a while, but believe me you will regain peace in your mind. Believe me it is a relief when it finally vanishes. It is possible that you are unable to imagine this at the moment. There are some ways to try to distract your self from these painful thoughts, but it didn’t do me much good. I know I probably repeat my self, but what you gotta do is to give your self time and room to morn. Comfort yourself. Sorry to say that it takes time. (Think about how long it takes when someone has died from someone. It is the same emotions that are on the line. Further what you must do is to do something about your self-esteem. Try to analyse your own emotionally system. Get help, read about it and when you are ready then turn yourself out to world again. Join your friends and get socially again if you know what I mean. About his remarks about you having his baby it doesn`t make any sense to me, but then again the remarks are taken out of its contents. Therefore I find it very difficult to comment on that. Take care of your self. Best wishes from Denamark |
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financiallydry
Joined: Sep 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-23 00:36:49 |
| Screwed by narcissistic AH whose sucked me dry | |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-30 07:41:34 |
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Hello MissM I hope you are all right. I wonder why you do not make any comments to my texture. |
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kez
Joined: Sep 9, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-30 14:23:32 |
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Thank you Gypzi. that made me feel alot better thanks. I'm sorry i jumped to a misunderstanding. I've been under heaps of stress and yes I doubt I am a real narcissist either. I've had lots of mixed messages in my life about being gifted intellectually but being inappropriate but I know I'm pigsh** socially, well my perceptions of social situations. It is really confusing and I just want to be like the giftie and see myself as others see me. But then again I don't want to be a sheep just to fit in - I try to live by the words of Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King. Also if i am able to focus and get some qualifications, i really need to use my mind to earn some money one day soon. Just the fact that i had been avoiding the forums because of what i thought you said, and yet thinking about it alot i think makes me a fairly poor narcissist. The only reason i came back today was because i missed the girls i met a few weeks ago and decided it wasnt fair to let one comment damage our friendships. I was still very nervous to read what you might have said, but am very glad i did. It's been getting harder to try and grow as a person. But I am actually in very poor health right now as i did a huge amount of work for a childs party and just like when i won a tourney thing earlier in the year - i get sick - very physically sick - the very next day from all the stress. It could very well be the swine flu this time actually as have been in contact with people that had that but am not too worried about the physical side - just miss being able to move about and get things done - touch things without making them wet - miss the sun - being able to think clearly yada yada. sorry to rave on am usually quite a busy person and being so ill for 4 days is making my mind quite jumpy and also depressed. xox |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-03 00:00:34 |
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Hello Kez. Good that we got rid of the former misunderstandings. From now on remember that whatever I write it is not made to hurt you but only to try to entligthen things for you from the best of my knowledge. I dont know whether you suffer from NPD or not but the very fact that you get so easyly hurt and insulted tells me that you are a very fragile person. You have som very painfull emotional woounds to deal with. You talk about what kind of person you want to be. This tells me more about you than the fact that you are very clever. It tells me that you are disorientated about who you really are. It is as if you are trying to invent your self. I think it is very good to have som persons to be inspired by in order to give you some values in life, but it is essential that you try to find out who you really are in stead of looking at other types that you want to be like. It takes you nowhere other that contribu to create a false self. When I read your letter it seams as if your thoughts are kind of fragmented. My advise to you is to start to get a lot of knowledge about the very substance of personality disorders. In my opinion it is mostly about the same problem: Lov selfesteam and emotional wounds coming from the fact that you have not beeb seen as the person who you really are. I reccommend you to read what Jung write about the subject. There are also lots of articles to be read on the internet. Best wishes from Denmark. |
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MissM
Joined: Aug 31, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-05 03:12:53 |
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hi gypzi, sorry for not replying earlier. I wanted to distance myself from talking about this and thinking about this so much. I did get some useful reading done though. While they frightened me at first, and i still want to be wrong in my opinion of my ex, what i read explained a lot to me. 'The Sociopath Next Door' and 'Women Who Love Psychopaths'. Scarey titles i know. People with no conscience are abundant. They are not all criminals or murderers! Most are 'regular' people. Unfortunately their outgoing, charismatic, adventurous natures appeal to people like me. So we 'find' each other. I do not hate him. If he called me tomorrow i'd love speaking to him. It is a great shame that he is not who he seems to be. Did he play this role for 9 yrs with his ex? Did she cheat on him (as he said) so much that he hates women? I don't know. My other boyfriend cheated on me for 4 yrs yet i don't hate men. My ex (that we talk of on here) knew this and yet he did the same to me while claiming he knew the pain of being cheated on. Makes no sense. I am nervous about meeting yet another like this. My confidence and hope for the future are v low but this will pass i hope. Do u think he is actually having the decency to leave me alone? I know narcissists usually reappear.. this part i don't understand in him. I don't even know what i want him to say to be honest. |
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Gypzi
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-05 09:10:09 |
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Hello again, MissM. I was kind of worried about you. Had you got into a deep depression or even worce? So I am relieved that you are still here. I have just returned from work. (Have been going since 5 o`clock this morning), so I am tired and will go to bed now. I will return to you tomorrow. I defenately have som comments. So long from Denmark |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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