I'm 15, I think I have it?

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Thread Topic: I'm 15, I think I have it?

NikkiDanniLala Joined: Jul 1, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-01 22:37:12
	I tested "very high" for HPD. I show most, if not all the symptoms. Well, I constantly need attention, especially from boys. If I don't get approval or acceptance, especially from males not only my age but a few years older and younger, I feel uncomfortable and have a very strong urge to leave. Almost everyday I wear makeup (I know, typical teen thing) and even when I'm going out to the store for like an hour I have to look good. I am always paranoid that I might happen to see boys and not immediatly be accepted by them, even if I am totally unnatracted to them myselves or if I just see them for like 5 minutes. I WOULD dress more innapropriatley, but do not because my parents won't allow certain things I buy to an extent. I am very clingy to my boyfriend, and also very qustionabl of his intentions; it is very hard for me to just relax and enjoy being the girlfriend for once. (I also tested here that I was very high for dependancy, i guess.)I also crave high acceptance of female attention too. Not in a sexual/romantic way though, but in the sense that if they do not accept me, I try everything I can to gain their approval.When a 'friend' insults me, or gets into petty fights with me, I will get very btchy and will join the little fight, but then I am quick to start apologizing and saying anything I can so I won't lose them. I am insanely jealous when there are other girl around that are with/enjoying time with their boyfriend; even though I don't really like the guy,I panic, like, why not me? Why isn't he looking at me?! And I try anything I cn to get that attention. When I am with my bf, I constantly need him all over me. Like, holding hands, hugging, holding hi 24/7. When he leaves to talk/hang with a friend, I get super insanely jealous that it isn't ME he is focusing on. Just thinking of this now is making me mad! Another thing, evenwhile in a relationship (even though I'm "oh so so so so in love" with) I still seek the approval and wnt from other males. when I am not with my bf and all over him...* At school, I like to lie to some people about how mean and horrible my parents are being to me, just to make them feel bad or get attention. Actually, I'm not evensure why I do that, but I do. It sounds utterly sick to myself as I say this, but, it sort of gives me pleasure to know that misery keeps them focused on me. I must also mention, (and this is VERY true, not just for attention, lol..) When I was a little girl, I was molested for a long time, while he thought I was asleep. Much like how I exagerate to friends how 'mean' my parents are, (often times making it sound like abuse), I also have not MUCH of a problm with telling them how I was molested. I guess I want their attention. Very Bad.
NikkiDanniLala Joined: Jul 1, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-01 22:43:07
	Oh, and also, even though I am constantly told how pretty/attractive I am, I will greatly indulge myself in the attention and the compliment, but then later wil start to feel reallowabout myself and have a strong craving for another remark about my beauty and great personality. :(
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-07-03 23:01:35
	I was going to bypass this as very likely normal adolescent behavior. Then I read your name pick and thought I would read a bit further. After your words regarding your long term molestation at a young age, I thought that I would post regardless of it being so true to written format. In other words, it can't hurt. Many attractive histrionics shape a goal such as in the Arts which helps them to feed their desire for attention. It can be useful to turn to such as Drama clubs, etc. in your area and work your way up the ladder using the talent you do have. The problem still can end up with you being unsatisfied, but at least this way you can gauge your true talents and thus take away from the unrealistic demand for attention when you are not entertaining. The good thing is that you are quite young and the work you do to create the adult person you want to be is in the process of being molded and solidified. There is a great drive in this world to understand why we all do what we all do. Just to different degrees. My view is that the only real and basic issue that needs to be addressed is the demand for a re-enforced positive attention. Positive being a pleasure mostly and we'll get to that a bit more later on. This issue is the true core where you can change the degree. This character has two possibilities that I see, and both will create a different person I think. The first character being one who felt the abuse as emotional pleasure mostly. The second character being one who felt the abuse as emotional pain mostly.
lillyyy Joined: Nov 29, '09 Status: New User	2010-07-03 23:20:01
	spam
hasntcrackedyet Joined: Aug 3, '10 Status: New User	2010-08-04 14:24:46
	apprently i have this (according to online profesional quiz...). i cut a little, but i wasnt expecting this. i am not really like this, but i only strive for attention when my crush is around. shrug ive actually tried to change myself for other people but i dont care. whatever.
Psychofriend Joined: Aug 1, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-08-14 00:59:59
	hasntcrackedyet, Cutting belongs to the 'emo / depressed' selection of people. These kind of people (and yourself, given you have shown to fit in to this criteria) do not actually suffer from any disorders. Your problems come from your inability to handle your emotions in the way normal people do. This is essentially a result of your brain functioning being inferior. Trying to change yourself for others shows your desperation. Please grow up.
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