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shades of gray
Joined: Oct 23, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-04 09:45:43 |
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Yeah I'm a lesbian too, hense the I usto be in love with my best friend. And yeah I'd love to talk too, not just about me but about you too. I don't have an email adress thoe :/ erm, iv had nightmares about bein trapped and about being alone. The thing Is it's always me that's the careing one, I creat ideal suituations and when people don't live up to That I feel let down. I mean I know she cares bout me but sometimes I wish shed let me in more than she dose. And she made me promise not to cut, and I never brake a promise. Do you get pushed around alot? I do, I hate to disappoint people and am scared of never finding that special person, I think if ihad someone as senstive and careing as me, someone that I think I mean alot too, I think I'd be better. I like people to feel safe with me, as I'm pretty butch that seems to be the case. I want someone that I can give all my attention too, but I do get over protective :/ I think that's quite nice Thoe :) I want someone I can make feel like the most important person in the world, someone I can be all that I am around, it's kinda wired but I like being vunrble around certian people. I like to feel like times just flowing an i have no controle over it. I find it really hard to open up to people but when I do I tend to start to like them :/ I don't know if i want it to go away, I think I'd be lost without it :/ there's so many sides to me. I'm strong and butch, senstive and careing, laid back "go with the flow" loveing and romantic, scared and fradgile not careing and hard faced mental and phycotic, playfull and flirty isolated and calm and quite is that bad? Noone will ever want to be with someone like me :/ anyway hopefull, your turn to talk, how's life at the minuite? And thankyou. How old are you? Im 15 |
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Unanswered Thread: What to do?! posted by Jeanine 5 hours ago |
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shades of gray
Joined: Oct 23, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 14:03:19 |
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Argh, all messed up again. I feel ilke my heads in a vice. All the arguments noone eles can hear, although if they could they wouldnd care. No I can't say that. Iv been off with everyone, actin like they don't care, hurting them unintensinoly and it sucks! I can't win, I don't mean it. They say they care and understand but if they did when I have a bad day they'd accsept that and help wouldn't they? Not take it offensivly and leave me to cry? If I care I notice things, small hand gestors that give away feelings, body language, facial exspretions and I know how there feelin and thinkin. They don't do any of that, do I exspect too much or what? I'm just a terrible person. I just wanna die, better for everyone. I miss who I was :/ xxx |
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unblissful
Joined: Nov 5, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 17:33:36 |
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aww shades of grey ive so been there.. im sure they do care but i think people get scared and dont understand or no what they can do to help. its particularly hard when we dont even know how we can be helped.. does that make sense? thats how i feel sometimes anyway.. i want help and need someone but if it comes to them asking how they can help im clueless.... people who dont suffer from a 'diorder' would not truly be able to understand what goes on and how you can unintentionaaly hurt them, its a hard thing to explain. being stuck between a rock and a hard place... they still love you, even tho at times u would feel as if they dont care. to die is not the answer, your still who you once were maybe just more complicated? you'l get through it, theres so many people out there to help even tho at times it doesnt feel like it! x |
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shades of gray
Joined: Oct 23, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-06 06:52:34 |
| im not, i want to be thoe. i even feel bad in talking about myself and not help someone eles | |
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shades of gray
Joined: Oct 23, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-06 14:06:38 |
| I don't know what the do, the worlds fallin in around me | |
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Firaphrin
Joined: Nov 6, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-06 15:58:46 |
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"Sometimes I feel really close to people and then the next day it's like they wouldn't give a crap if I was dead." Gah, I know the feeling. try stepping back a bit and admitting that their mind works differently than yours. Likely you'll see you're reading into tiny details, details that person hasn't even thought out. Likely, they DO care--you just are so afraid that they don't you see everything that could mean that they don't. At least, that's what I tend to do, and I think it's good to notice... because then you're one step closer to fixing it. |
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shades of gray
Joined: Oct 23, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-07 02:27:01 |
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Thanks, and your right I do look into things way WAY too deeply gahh, :( xx |
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