Confused, so confused

belvedere19 Joined: Oct 26, '10 Status: New User	2010-10-26 17:08:31
	Wow. I can't believe I'm actually writing this, but here goes. I'm a 22 year old university student who has changed schools twice, once after first year, tried after 3rd year, had to return to finish one course, then have returned to start my 5th year. Oh yeah, there was a woman involved both times; i wanted to get out of my hometown, so I went to the city, which the lady said she was stoked about, and then dumped me 2 months in. Not her fault, but i was surrounded by a lot of older guys and was very depressed after my first big breakup and didn't feel like talking much. Ended up smoking a LOT of pot, which I've quit now, but I fear the damage may be done. Then the girl who I liked for 5 years (and who liked me the whole time she dated my friend) said she liked me, after being single for a bit, where some strange instances happened like her telling me she liked me the night she screwed some guy whose name she doesn't remember and having sex with my friend when she came to see me (I was still seeing this other girl at the time)...she's nothing like that though. She's a wonderful, beautiful girl and we're trying to make being friends work...Oh yeah, I moved to where she was (my birthplace) because I thought it was the other city and my situation making me awkward. Now I'm thinking it wasn't. I was happy with this girl, this lovely girl, and now we've split up. I've got some childhood friends who i'm still close with still here and some pretty sweet roommates but I feel incapable of talking to people and making connections because I'm so goddamn in my own head, constantly thinking about how I've screwed up and not a likable person, and then i start thinking about how i'm thinking and its creating a vicious cycle thats making me not be the person I know I am. I don't know when this started happening but I'm guessing it was after the first move, and if I keep on like this I'm going to get further and further away from myself and from others, and I don't want that. I'm not a bad guy, and I was generally liked before I started feeling this way, which is making me into a person who is just 'there'. I'm gonna see a psychologist this week but please god someone tell me that I haven't f---ed everything up in my life, and that somebody out there has dug themselves out of this hole, cause i'm trying to hold true but my head feels like its splitting in two (rhyme unintended but wicked).
deblwk Joined: Sep 7, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-10-26 17:34:50
	naw your haven't permanently screwed everything up....all holes have bottoms:D. Sounds like you have trouble with breakups- well everyone does some but give yourself time to recover. Don't get me wrong I was the queen of stupid breakup reactions :) As far as connecting with people stick around. People are fairly real around here. Most of the social action is on a few threads, but all over...the way you cut yourself thread..(yeah I know the name is terrible) is fairly active, as well as some others. Same people everyday. Well I hope that helps mostly I just try to chear the guys up by joking about sex or something stupid. lol
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