I Need Her

lac8504 Joined: Oct 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-10-23 14:20:28
	My fiancé left me and I can't live without her. She wants me to get help with this so we can get back together but I'm terrified we won't. I haven't eaten much in a week, I cut myself and had to go to the hospital. I love her so very much and I feel like I'm nothing without her. She is my everything, when she doesn't call or text me I feel like I'm going to die. I wish I could be with her 24/7 I miss her so much I can barley breathe. I've missed a lot of school and work, I'm trying very hard to get through this but it seems like I'll never get her back...please help!!!!!!!!!!
psychoanAlice Joined: Oct 19, '10 Status: New User	2010-10-23 14:23:00
	ativan
psychoanAlice Joined: Oct 19, '10 Status: New User	2010-10-23 14:30:34
	ugh. pardon me. that was a bit too close for comfort. good luck to you. you are still a whole person without her, you have just let a part of yourself run away with her. but it will come back if you give it time.
psychoanAlice Joined: Oct 19, '10 Status: New User	2010-10-23 14:35:55
	To fall as far as fall can until a cheek lands on the earth’s curved hand a basin holding the unholding with room to spare
Mel Joined: May 26, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-10-23 19:56:07
	U know, this is how I felt in 1996 when the guy I've wanted walked away. My story is a bit different but the feelings aren't. I cried solidly for a few months and have continued to cry up to now, but only when I really think about the pain that 'he' has inflicted on me. Will it get better? Yes it will, but it will depend on how solid your core is. Mine is pretty solid and I know exactly what I want, which makes meeting someone new really difficult. I'm forever comparing. I once had a tutor when I was doing my undergraduate degree (many moons ago now) who asked the class a question. "Is it better have awareness and feel lonely (because true awareness creates loneliness) or is better to remain unaware, living a 'happy, blissful' life based on ignorance?" I never forgot this question: a very insightful and profound question. I'm starting to envy those who move from relationship to relationship like a conveyor belt, not holding any value for the past. I think many people get attached to 'need' because they don't know quite who they are. I'm starting to wonder that these type of people are in fact happier (maybe?). How quickly you get over her will depend on your inner core and the value you place on yourself. You will adjust to her not being in your life at some point, and for what it's worth...SHE will probably always be the benchmark for all possible relationships to come. That's not a bad thing, because you'll have a measurement to use in knowing what makes you tick. The one lesson I've learned from my experience is to know how solid my values are and the fact that I know exactly who I am and what I want. I don't change easily with the wind...and that true love is real. True love is not that disposable. If it were, then it would seem that current relationships are in fact...only situational. Saw a story on TV recently...a guy was about to marry the love of his life: they were both around 25 years of age. On the eve of their wedding, she has a massive stroke, leaving her in a wheel chair and mutated for life. The wedding was only postponed to a later date. He said he loved her and will always love her. Now, 16 yrs later...they have 2 children and he says he loves as much as he did before her stroke. Now THAT...is real love. x
lac8504 Joined: Oct 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-10-23 20:26:40
	I can't sleep, eat, work, and I can barely go to school, I want to get better I want her to take me back but I'm terrified she'll find someone else or decide she doesn't want me. If that happens I really think I would kill myself, she is my true love, the only one for me, if I lose her I will never find that again...
Mel Joined: May 26, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-10-24 00:47:27
	So, have you told HER this story? BTW...how old are you? You say you can't go to school: does this mean you're a teenager? If you are, then relax...things will get better. I think when you're a teen, things are BIGGER THEN BEN HUR. It will fade. If it helps...write down all the "bad things" or "things you DON'T like about her". I'm sure there are some...Then, look at the list every day until it soaks in. Maybe this will help. Don't kill yourself whatever you do... you'll hurt the people who love you :(( All the best. x
nbliz Joined: Oct 24, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-11-13 15:08:46
	well your fiancé will never be with you anymore beacuse and it will always be the same old song,, when a womem knows the real u she will leave you
Mel Joined: May 26, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-11-13 16:52:56
	OMG...nbilz, how can you say that? There's a whole story behind the scenes that no one here knows about. Sometimes, people need their own space to appreciate what they don't have. There a plenty of people who walk out of relationships, only to return months or years later. AND...how can you say when a woman knows the "real you" she'll leave? This is a wildly sweeping statement :(
CosmoAwesmo Joined: Jun 20, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-11-13 16:54:10
	Hey Mel. ^^ How are you, darling?
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