What's wrong with me?

Freckleforce01 Joined: Apr 22, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-04 22:32:28
	I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm miserable. I'm severely overweight and i feel at times like i'm the most disgusting, worthless human being on the planet. While i have an amazing sense of humor and have been told countless times that i should be a comedian, I never feel happy. When I go out, i'm constantly readjusting myself, my hair my clothes. I'm so worried that someone will think i'm fat that i can't even think straight. While I have good friends, I would NEVER tell them my problems because I would be too afraid of what they would say after. While i love my family more than life itself, I know i could never go to them. They can't be bothered with my "Drama queen" actions and think that i'm lieing about what i'm feeling. When i finally told my sister that I came close to killing myself once, she got so angry with me and called me selfish. I know i was, but even though i listen to their problems constantly, they can't be bothered to listen to any of mine. But no matter what i do, I don't think that i will ever be good enough. In a way I wonder if the constant fear of people making fun of me will drive me to do something i may regret.
Lectric Joined: Jun 16, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-05 00:36:02
	Until you conquer this self-consciousness you have about yourself, your insecurity, you will struggle with it your whole life. Iv thought about suicide many times throughout my life also so I know how that feels. I also know what its like for people to constantly put my problems down like they aren't a big deal. Your problems are big deal though and they must be confronted, the sooner the better. Being overweight is a hard thing to overcome but its not impossible. Its NOT impossible. It may not seem like it now but you actually have a gift. It seems like a curse right now though. Step 1, the most important step: without becoming resentful, learn how to separate yourself from being dependent on other people for you to be happy. I used to be very self-conscious for how skinny I was and I had bad acne on my face and on my shoulders. When I first started working out I was very embarrassed and often times did not want to workout at the gym because I was scared of what other people thought of me. You can't let other people hold you back like that by being afraid of their opinions because really its you holding yourself back by allowing your fear to control your desires and intentions. To say it plainly, if you want to not be fat then you must eat healthy and exercise. You are going to have to push yourself though. It will be hard and painful but if you succeed one day you will look back and that which you once believed to be a curse will then be a sourse of inspiration and strength. I'm 6.4 and used to be 145lbs. People used to make comments about how skinny I was, girls didn't like me and guys thought I was a wimp. Please don't beat yourself up for the rest of your life. You are so young, you have alot of life ahead of you. Don't let fear of what currently is destroy the happiness that could be. Please take my advice. By the way, I would not have taking the time to type all this if I thought it would be in vain. I believe in you that you can do it, you should share this belief with me and believe in you too. :)
Freckleforce01 Joined: Apr 22, '10 Status: New User	2010-07-05 17:11:21
	Thank you so much for the support and advice. :D
Shroud Joined: May 9, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-07-05 18:27:58
	If most of your negative thoughts stem from how you think others perceive you, why don't you do something to change it? If being overweight is something you don't like about yourself why not make serious effort to change it? Look at what you eat and why. Look at your level of physical activity. Diets don't work. The basic weight loss math is calorie intake - calorie expenditure = weight loss/gain. There are websites that can help you keep track of things if it's something you choose to do.
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