Am I obsessed

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Thread Topic: Am I obsessed

ligature494 Joined: Feb 22, '10 Status: New User	2010-02-22 18:45:42
	I was advised to post this on this part of the forum after previously posting it on another section. First I feel like a little back story is needed I've been in a relationship with a girl for 8 months now. this is my first major relationship and Things were going great at first, we relate on a lot of subjects and we generally had fun together when with each other. Recently However, I feel I am becoming somewhat obsessed with this girl and I feel it's starting to affect my personality as a whole as well as my relationship with her and my Family/Friends. I feel as if I can't be myself not just around her, but around anyone and nearly every waking minute I have thoughts enter my head about her, and not of the good kind. Thoughts of being rejected, abandoned ect. and I just can't seem to shake these thoughts, even when I do my hobby's or see friends it's always creeping on the back of my mind. Recently we spent about a month together which was amazing and now she wants some time to catch up on things that she has missed (Friends/Family/Hobbies)which I am totally in agreement with as it is only logical that someone would want to after being absent from them for such a period of time however, I can't seem to do this myself. I can't really sleep at night because I am thinking about what she is up to, if she doesn't talk to me in some form during the day I start worrying and even when she does it doesn't put my thoughts to rest. I do my best not to contact her when she wants space as smothering her would be the last thing that she would want but, I am practically wracking my brains trying not to. Clearly this is not healthy for our relationship or for us as people. I think I should also mention my current life situation and a bit of my history I am currently unemployed, but should be working within the next month once my license to practice arrives as I have a job lined up, I have been unemployed for several months now but had to leave University due to family issues. My father died during my childhood. I have had counciling for anger management/grieving about the time he died. I feel I have a lack of focus at the moment other than my girlfriend. I guess that the main purpose of this post is to find out: A) Am I obsessed or is it deep love? B) How to get help with this C) Any tips to help deal with this Any help/advise would be greatly appreciated and well received. Many thanks in advance
xcaseyx Joined: Feb 23, '10 Status: New User	2010-02-23 05:13:56
	Hmm well im no super expert but i doo have a grate understanding for things ,, to me this sounds like You are in love and maybe with her because she shows u that u can depend on her n she will be there and that is what u have been longing for orr u just like the feel of how she makes u feel so u are afried sumthing might happen and u will lose herr so u are costaly thinging about situations that could make it all go wrong to deal with that think in ur head about if u Have dun something and iff u havnt then just go onto thinking about things shed be up to ,, allways stayin positiv ,, if u have dun something u think would jeprudise it then think of ways to fix , ,, sorry iff my adive doesnt helpp ,,
ligature494 Joined: Feb 22, '10 Status: New User	2010-02-23 07:27:09
	Thank you for the response. Truth be told I was looking to explain my situation in order to get an outsider's perspective. I wanted to know if it was just my infatuation for her that was doing it or just a need so to speak. I'm glad to here that you don't think it's so much obsessive and your advice has been taken. :)
rosetears Joined: Mar 11, '10 Status: New User	2010-03-11 16:40:02
	I'm in exactly the same position as you too. I've been dating my bf for 4 months now, and things are pretty good. I like him, and he treats me very well too. But I have some contraditory thoughts too. For one thing, I don't really see a future with my bf b/c he just doesn't seem to be the very motivated/ambitious kind. I know I probably won't be happy marrying someone like him, not necessarily b/c of the material comforts, but b/c an unambitious man means, to me, someone who cannot really protect me. But even though I don't think my bf is "marriable" I still like him a lot and want to see him, hang around him all the time. I'm TERRIFIED that he'll cheat on me. He might have to go to school in a big city (lots of distractions...girls...u know the drill) and i'm so afraid that he's going to meet someone else and abandon me :( I have a feeling this fear could be residue from my last relationship where I was actually totally in love with the guy. We dated for 2 wks just before I had to leave for another city, and the guy refused to have a long distance relationship b/c he's had a bad experience before and just don't believe they work anymore. I knew this well before we started dating and thought I understood, but I guess it still hurt me...a lot...so perhaps it's b/c of my previous experience that's caused my intense fear of being abandoned? What exactly is wrong with me?
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