Happy

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Thread Topic: Happy

Beka Joined: Nov 9, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 13:33:13
	I myself try to be positive all or most of the time but sometimes everything gets the better of me and i break down. i understand everyone goes through good and bad patches but does anyone else to to be happy and positive and nice all or most of the time? or is it just me?
Beka Joined: Nov 9, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 13:35:00
	Thats ment to be, does anyone else try to be happy and positive and nice all or most of the time?
Delirius Joined: Nov 3, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 13:40:49
	I try and fail horribly
Beka Joined: Nov 9, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 13:44:20
	really? i thought it was just me. i try and when i get home thats usually when i break down.
Delirius Joined: Nov 3, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 13:50:52
	I'm the best when I'm around people but that's becoming less helpful
Schoolgoth124 Joined: Nov 11, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 14:37:37
	I try but whenever my reason to be happy is gone, I just end up crying my eyes out. :( I also hate Fridays because I end up breaking down by science class at 1:40. :(
haart Joined: Oct 17, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 14:40:33
	Happy is no longer what I aim for, it's so contrived and temporary. I'll settle with mediocre content
Delirius Joined: Nov 3, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-26 14:45:16
	That's fun
fantasy Joined: Jul 28, '09 Status: Senior User	2009-11-26 19:25:21
	Personally I don't think being happy all the time is possible. Usually around my school "friends" I try to act "happy" but sometimes I feel so down that I actually break down and cry in class and run to the bathroom to cut. And when I feel down like that it's impossible - IMPOSSIBLE for me to think positive, no matter what I say I'll beat myself back down and everybody else, it's almost as if I want to be miserable, but I don't, I really don't want to be miserable. Yeah I would settle with "mediocre content" as well...
elisafauzana Joined: Aug 27, '09 Status: Senior User	2009-11-27 08:37:04
	hey, guys, how to settle in mediocre content? that sounds like a solution. well, beka, i feel that too. i will try to be good. to do good and to feel good and tell myself, be positive, everything will be fine. and yes, the formula worked. from a dark deep misery i have created, positive attitude and positive thinking helped me to merge back to the surface of clearity and happiness. Everybody forgave me, accepted me and gave me the honour and acknowledgement that i never thought i will be given. i was happy and honoured and i thought i will the feel the same and do the same for eternity. Now, while everybody still remaining the same and i am still doing the same good thing,everything has got better for me, i know i shud feel happy and positive, but out of sudden i fall apart. like last night, i was crying the whole night. i don't know why. nothing happened. but i just felf depressed and felt i am too evil and there is nothing left for me to live and i kept on crying. i asked myself, what's wrong? in case my husband wakes up, i have a reason to tell him. but i don't know why. i was confused, not sure what am i supposed to do, suppose to think. so i kept on crying until i felt better n took some cough syrup to help me sleep.
fantasy Joined: Jul 28, '09 Status: Senior User	2009-11-27 11:59:57
	Elisafauzana I get that too sometimes. I have no idea why. Maybe there's some chemical imbalance thing, maybe it's hidden "repressed" problems, I really have no idea. I don't know what puts me in these moods, sometimes I'm really optimistic and positive and everything seems so hopeful and great, then sometimes everything seems the opposite like terribly pathetic and hopeless and cold and dead. Maybe it's just depression or whatever we have. But whenever you get sad like that try to remember all the good times in your life and everyone that loves/honors you..
elisafauzana Joined: Aug 27, '09 Status: Senior User	2009-11-27 12:46:30
	thanks, fantasy.. yeah i try to remember all good times and how good my husband is to have helped me out of all the misery i have created and to have forgiven me and accepted me... but there is something fighting inside me..it's like am aware i shudn't feel this way, i am aware of my shallow emotion, i know that i shud be greatful to i have now..but i just can't help it.. i break down..i can't stop crying.. i regret all the things i did in the past.. eventhough my husband never dig anything out..for him, he loves me and he forgives me, period. but for me, i feel guilty, though i try hard to feel normal, act normal..but at times this hidden repressed things can't be repressed anymore..i don't know how to live this thing going on in my mind..even yesterday i thought of running away from my husband and son..but that will be another big betrayal i do to them..i don't want to hurt them anymore..but it is hurting me to live with this unforgettable guilt..it is eating me...
Beka Joined: Nov 9, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-28 03:26:20
	thanks for all the replies guys. last night i almost broke down at the end of a gig at my school but i managed to keep it together thanks to my fiends. so i guess its not possible to be happy all the time. but its good to try (:
alexmatic Joined: Nov 27, '09 Status: New User	2009-11-28 09:37:08
	ElisaFauzana - Does your husband ever get angry at something you've done, or haven't done, not realizing that you're reacting to a bad day, or some other symptom of BPD? Does this make sense? How do you get him to be understanding all the time?
Delirius Joined: Nov 3, '09 Status: Junior User	2009-11-28 14:07:19
	I think if you don't try to be happy there is no reason to live
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