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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-04 13:20:23 |
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Omg Fatality!! I missed you so much!! Sorry about yesterday, she just pulled the router on me like THAT... anyway this morning inspiration came to me and I started making a song :p Neh I still think the problem is me, lol. I'm just too sensitive and sux at coping. :( |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-04 13:21:28 |
| Omg Stephie I'm so sorry ... :( I really do feel spoiled now, lol >. | |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-04 13:25:16 |
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PS i wasn't saying all your problems are tiny, bad wording on my behalf 0.0 Stephie, i'm sorry to hear that, i hate how inhumane some pathetic excuse of a human life could do that. They'll all get what they f---ing deserve one day. "Neh I still think the problem is me, lol. I'm just too sensitive and sux at coping. :(" .> Imma here for a long time anyway, so hurry home ;D |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-04 13:26:20 |
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the punctuation/symbols on here sucks kinda :s "Neh I still think the problem is me, lol. I'm just too sensitive and sux at coping. :(" One word to answer that: ¬_¬ |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-04 13:31:48 |
| PLEASE DON'T THINK THIS IS U. cos it's not!! we all suffer in different ways. I think people have been through worse thn me and it doesb't matter how big or small your problems are we can all find it hard to cope ok.xx | |
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elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-04 18:07:21 |
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hi stephie, i guess the "can't feel anything" is a shield from getting hurt or dissapointed. i guess in bpd, like what fantasy has highlighted in another thread, there are two depressive mode, one to be active, where can we can show our emotion and the other one is passive, where we feel empty and nothing. so when this passive mode hits, we "can't feel anything", but the emotion is hidden somewhere. i was always afraid of getting hurt by loving someone. so i can't fall in love. because i always feel i will get hurt one day. till today, i can't really fall in love. i always prepare myself to be abandon one day when my husband really loves me. i will always have this back up plan, like "if he leaves me, then i'll do this..", when actually i need i better future plan with him, like what we can do to improve our lives, how to save money n other stuffs. It sucks, but i can't help it. i always make myself ready for the negative part when i know i need to get myself ready for the positive side. well, i guess that's how bpds loose their partners. ok, back to answer your thread, i don't think bpds has no emotion applies. it's just that we are shileding ourselves from getting hurt. |
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kira
Joined: Nov 4, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 18:32:49 |
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hey i kinda went through similar things...more than stayin emotionless...there was even a silence period when i decided since no one cared bout me...might as well shut myself out! but later i realised....i had dreams and people 'I' cared about....people i wanted to protect and keep by my side. so then i came out of that silence routine and started interacting with as many people as possible....trust me...not as easy as it is to type about it!...lol i had to work so hard to keep myself around people....i showed them directly that i cared about them and after that surprisingly alot of them even gave direct resposes...wow that felt good!!! even when a relationship with someone goes bad....i try to take it as a lesson...nobody needs to be afraid of showing they are sad or angry...infact when you show people your weak side...it is a form of tell them you trust them...and they will respond to you when they need help as well. instead of trying to FORGET those bad feelings try to grow stronger from it so that one day you can turn it all into just memories. if i loved someone and they gave me good memories....why would i want to forget them...cherish it and then make new memories in the future. don't be afraid of getting hurt.... there was a nice saying...i'm not sure but it was related to baseball: don't let the fear of getting striked out, keep you from hitting the ball...something like that. well i hope i helped. |
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elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-05 01:01:54 |
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Fantasy, I agree with stephie n fatality. All of us on this board are too sensitive n sux coping. Though it sucks, but it's not our choice. u r one of the nicest girl on this board. |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 02:43:43 |
| Good advice peeps.I know what you mean about being in love. I find it quite hard as i don't or i'm too afraid that i will be let down. But elisa it sounds like you have sum positive steps put in place too. which is great. well done! I love the quote Kira it really makes sense. Good positive feed back. It is helping me understand more. Thanks guys. You have all been great on here. Almost want to cry cos even though we have suffered in life we are all getting stronger i think. And like kira said we do learn from our mistakes and in time this makes us stronger and more positive people. Thanks again.xx | |
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elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-05 17:23:11 |
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Thanks, stephie. I am struggling everyday to brush off the negative feelings and build the positive feelings towards my husband and myself. I really hope i could fall in love with my husband as much as he loves me. I am migrating soon to go to him, a decision which took me two years and a lot of incidences and reassurance in between, to make. I hope to do the best for all of us. What Kira said is inspiring.instead of trying to FORGET those bad feelings try to grow stronger from it so that one day you can turn it all into just memories.Life is too short to live with bad feelings and guilt and whatever it takes to make us worthless and sad and down.. I almost cried too reading your post, stephie. it's true, we are suffering yet we are getting stronger by advising each other to be a better person. I wish good luck to all of us. |
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Isabelle1899
Joined: Nov 7, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-07 11:25:59 |
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I get really angry, at my mum and sister. I also get really snappy at my whole family. I think my dad just thinks i'm hormonal. i get really stressed as well which makes me breath really heavily and go kindof out of body, and detached... i think it's like a panic attack but not. I also get insanely happy sometimes and everything is great and everyone's my friend etc etc, but then you come back down and it's all sooo s---. and of course theres the sit in your room crying part, that's crap because you feel so alone and hated by everyone. |
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Depressed_Emo
Joined: Nov 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-07 12:37:19 |
| Synapse ur an ass | |
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K8bpd
Joined: Oct 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-09 16:38:49 |
| wow stephie,I have such a similar story to yours...I was raped when I was 20 and suffered some abuse as a child and im bpd...I feel empty a lot and sometimes numb... | |
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hopscotch
Joined: Sep 8, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-09 20:39:39 |
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are you guys sometimes really emotional, then the next minute really apathetic and emotionless? i swing between these all the time... i used to be more apathitic because i seemed to think that it was stronger, and nothing could hurt me if i didnt care. then i realised it just built up and made everything worse, but now i still go through apathetic times, and get really depressed over the smallest things. |
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elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-09 23:57:09 |
| yeah, i have these swings too.. one time i will feel like i am been used n been victimized n im pathetic.. so i have to fight..then the next moment i will feel like i have been mean and manipulative n apathetic, so i feel guilty n cry n just can't forgive myself, so will do anything to make it up back.. God! this sucks..don't know which one is right... | |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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