Thread Topic: Can't stop cutting!!!BPD????
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-02 13:19:16 |
| okk so i've taken three online test to see of i have BPD. they all said most likely. i think i have it and i think i have OCD also, but im afraid to go to my parents, they won't understand, they'll probly say they think im fine b/c they dont want to pay for therapy sessions. i am a cutter, i have been for almost a year. When i first started i told my friends......stupid idea. noe they check my arms everyday....so i cut on my legs. but when they see that i've cut they get REALLy mad,that makes me want to cut more. they don't understand. i really want to stop, i've tried more times than i can count..... any help?? | |
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Unanswered Thread: Yay to Me posted by Notcrazy1010 18 minutes ago |
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shades of gray
Joined: Oct 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-02 14:24:13 |
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I did exsacly the same thing, started about two years back. Told my friends and then they stopped talking to me and that made me feel like I'd been abandond and alone wich made me want to hurt myself more. The thing people don't understand is getting mad dosent help!!! I'll try my best to help you through it if you tell me your problems and what's making you do it, and not gunna get mad or anything, I'm hear to help. How old are you if you don't mind me asking, I'm gessin like 14/15? Xxx |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-02 14:42:36 |
| im thirteen. my friends haven't ditched me...yet. but one of my friends cuts too. not as bad as i do though. but she understands more than the rest of them. i cut when i feel alone(which is more often than not), when anyone is mad at me(my parents, siblings, friends, ext.), and sometimes i just do it w/out even thinking about it. and ya, none of my friends get that getting mad at me makes me want to do it more, except my one friend who cuts, she never gets mad at me. | |
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kira
Joined: Nov 4, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 17:03:02 |
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hey thanks for the reply....:-D maybe i can try n help if you still need help. when you told me it was bout time i handled ma life... i totally agree...i am 19. when i was younger i did cut myself a couple of times......but after i did that...i kinda felt like i was betraying myself...i'm sry...i'm not sure how tht feeling goes. but i only felt like hurting myself when i new whatever happened was my fault.(self-criticism) i didn't have anyone to go to so i exerted the anger on myself by cutting.my parents saw it though and they decided to ignore it... not because of treatment money but for the fuss it would have caused....and so forth... (i hope i'm on rite track) i did have 1 friend whom i RESPECTED a lot. but she like me decided to exert the anger on helself and when i saw that i became upset because i felt like i wasn't a friend enough. we then promised eachother to talk things out and one thing we promised ourselves was- no matter what you are your favorite. that is like- how can you expect others to love you when you don't love yourself. we found other ways to exert our anger like competing in anything and everything we did...lol...we really went all out!!! hard sports....art....drama....studies...i wanted to come first in everything...hehe when i channeled it this way...i started to feel a little proud of myself and with all the attention i got i was able to slowly start loving myself. i realised then RESPECT is something to be EARNED and is no talent or skill. here is somthing i follow and trust me it works- BE CONFIDENT AND YOUR CONFIDENCE WILL MAKE OTHERS CONFIDENT IN YOU.(carefull not to get arrogent though :-D) |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 17:20:14 |
| thank you. you helped, i kind of see how that might work, i'll give it a try. the thing is i am WAY addicted to cutting. it's a bit of a problem. my parents don't notice anything about me. they haven't noticed my cuts and i've been cutting for a year. also as sort of a test to see if my parents even look at me at all, me and my friend pierced our cartilages about a month ago and my parents still haven't noticed, i find it a bit humorous actually. i will try what you said though, you were helpful. | |
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kira
Joined: Nov 4, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 18:06:05 |
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hey i'm glad :-D if you need me to help you through it... i will glad to! i am a senior at this...not something to be proud of...lol....but yah! i also happen to have alot of experience with ignorance from parents.. that being my cause of problems actually:-) in that case...i started to take it as lesons of how not to be when i become a parent...so everytime i feel hurt by someone, i try to realise and re-organise those feelings so that when i am interacting with others or even with the very same person who hurt me i am carefull not to hurt them the same way they did to me....not because i'm an angel! but because i know how it feels. if the person who hurt you....hurt you unknowingly then when you show them how it should be done....they will definitly acknowledge it!!!....for sure! so keep fighting p.s- your rite this sight is good...i'm gonna try n help more in places i think i can relate to...keep in touch :-D |
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Synapse
Joined: Oct 24, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-04 18:30:31 |
| why do you think you have BPD? besides the tests and cutting. | |
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kira
Joined: Nov 4, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 18:44:54 |
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i think i HAD them.... whatever i wrote before....i have been practising it for the past 4 1/2 years now. so i know it works....well atleast it did for me....before...more than forums....i used to read a lot....when i thought i had a problem which i didn't know how to solve or just somthing that felt unusual....i first find source of it,then i pluck it out from the roots!!! something like that....once i've done that i follow through with my actions and make sure the people involved a OK! because when u decide to remove the sole of the problem...it will definitly hurt the people around you...but u gotta do what u gotta do!!! trust me...when i say...this is waaaaay better than slogging with the problem for a lifetime's worth.... problem now-solve now never put off! p.s- only you can do what you've decided to do. |
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emogirl3
Joined: Nov 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-08 20:28:59 |
| Im 15 and ive been cutting since 7th grade. Im in 10th grade currently. One of my friends who is closest to me was a cutter,but we promised to stop I helped her she helped me but I didn't stop and she did. So yup. | |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-09 12:05:30 |
| ya my closest friend cut, we wanted to stop, we tried really hard, she stopped, i didn't. now i'm on medicine for depression, have BPD, and OCD and im only in eighth grade. she's still really close to me, and shes my motivation to stop cutting, but it's really hard. emogirl3- do you still cut? | |
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kira
Joined: Nov 4, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-09 15:19:46 |
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hey....how u guys doin(emogirl3 and alone) ok....so both yr frnds stopped, u guys couldnt.....maybe checkin wht helped them stop ....maybe could help u as well. if u havnt checked tht is...!?! try finding somthing "U" think is worth your time....and dedicate more time to it....u know....like occupyin yr time...so that u dont think bout being sad or alone... n try gettin involved in more physical activities so tht by the time your home... ur tired enough to fall asleep even in the couch. i know it sounds absurd!!! but tht is how i did it....when i was depressed....i stayed like 6 hrs extra in school for sports n art n drama....so when i got home i took a nap...got up studied and then went to sleep. n i tried to keep myself around people all the time...so tht even if i felt like cutting i wasnt able to! for all this to happen u need to be ur own support.....u allways hav people to talk to n stuff but when it come down to it, u will be on yr own.(hope sayin it tht way wasn't too harsh...sry) but hey 15 n 13....u guys hav a lot ahead. take care n keep in touch p.s: i am better at dealin with my iisues wid my dad....i'm not tht intimidated by him anymore.... i guess i just needed someone to tell me to grow up...lol(thnks!!! 'alone') |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-10 10:55:13 |
| i swim five days a week for two hours, it occupies alot of my time. im thinking of quiting, it's getting to be too much. im trying really hard to quit cutting, but i just dont have enough energy to keep going and going all day long. my therapist says i need to keep swimming, she says it is very good for my depression but i don't want to, not really at least. | |
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emogirl3
Joined: Nov 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-12 18:03:50 |
| Alone i am trying to stop but the thoughts keep flooding back in my head,They ppl asked me if i want to go on medication and i said maybe, but my other friend told me not to go on medication cause it just messes up your brain. I do do gymnastics and it takes up alot of my time,i go to school then gym till 8:30pm but I stay up and cut like till 1 or 12:30, when i sit in my room and think about everything that happened today | |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-13 06:03:50 |
| emogirl3 my therapists wants to put me on meds for ocd, and deppression. i think im guna go on the meds for deppression but in not sure about ocd. im not sure i need them. i do the same thing, i cut real late at night. sometimes i fall asleep right after i cut and when i wake up in the morning theres blood all over my sleeves and sheets. i havent cut in three days, im trying REALLY hard to stop but, i feel like im going crazy, i need to cut. but i don't want to slip back down to my habit of cutting everyday. sometimes i want to go back to that though, that may not make much sense. its hard to explain,. | |
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K8bpd
Joined: Oct 25, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-13 07:20:59 |
| Keep up the good work alone...cutting less is always a good thing! I know the urges are there but be strong! | |
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Unanswered Thread: My results posted by Sexynatalie291 58 minutes ago |
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