Thread Topic: my first time here
|
riskybusiness
Joined: Oct 20, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-20 15:28:59 |
| i live in constant anxiety..you might or might not tell from looking at me because i look like the average 23 year old guy but i have a constant inner struggle when it comes to even the simplest of social interactions lke saying hi to someone new, someone i know, a relative, or almost anyone at all...i grew up in a family where i was always praised for this or that..i have many talents and skills and at times im very proud of myself and other times i bring myself way down..i imagine blowing my head off at random times at the thought of a prior social situations...its strange because i like making a good impression all the time and most of the time people enjoy my company...but other times i feel wierd like i am showing obvious signs of anxiety and it makes things extremely awkward with people..i do feel lonely...i feel seperated from various members of my family like my loving grandparents and other relatives which deeply sadens me because i love them so much..certain close friends i feel i have led to become alienated..i have a tendency to damage relationships....ive been coping with different stages of depression since i was fifteen..i have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder...i have cut and burned myself before but i got treatment and never did it again...oddly enough i have also had an instance in my life where for several weeks i had delusions of grandeur, superiority, and self-indignation..and felt completely confident in social settings ..and the changes in personality led my family to believe i was on drugs so they put me in a behavioral clinic and the doctors labeled me narcissistic and manipulative....the changes are extreme...im not consistent...im overly sensitive but i dare not let that show to anyone because i am so insecure and afraid of appearing incompetent or inconfident...some friends i have had said i initially seemed mean to them....i might also be obsessive compulsive because i wash my hands and face alot....im having second thought on even posting this simple thread because i feel uncomfortable talking about this stuff...i wish the anxiety would just go away and i could feel normal all the time, or at least be in the same mood all the time...i use any type of drugs and alcohol to get buzzed or high ...im the type that wil try anything most of the time.... | |
|
Unanswered Thread: So which razor/blade posted by Hip 3 hours ago |
|
|
elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-20 18:34:23 |
|
omg...u sound a lot like me. most of the time i tend to avoid people n social interaction when most of the time people enjoy my company. i tend to do that because i hate being incompetent n inconfident. the superiority n inferiority complex resonates n i myself have no idea what am i... |
|
|
elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-20 22:05:20 |
|
this might sound even weird...but i just feel i have to tell this...there will be even times when i will feel that i am pretty n feel everybody looking at me n there will be times when i will feel that i look hideous n nobody looks at me... again the superiority n the inferiority resonates..this drives me crazy.. when i feel pretty, i will manipulate n when i feel ugly i will act like i am worthless, "u can do anything u want to do to me because i am ugly" thing.. does anybody on this board feel this way? this is extremely insane... |
|
|
stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-28 09:01:36 |
| hey riskybusiness i'm glad you wrote on here. I feel extremely anxious at times with strangers aswell as my family which i thought was just me. But hearing from you guys you must suffer aswell. You begin to feel shakey and odd like you don't fit in and want to hide. It's horrible. Then the next day or a few days later lke u i will feel so confident that i can be in charge and do anything and everything. Ihave BPD but then my CPN thinks now i have elementary bipolar, not sure what this is.I also wish i could be stable allthe time i'm either over the top and extremely high or on a low. Its a difficult one i know.xx good luck | |
|
niklared
Joined: Oct 19, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-28 11:59:26 |
| Stephie that really does sound like rapid cycle bipolar. My recent ex partner has that. Your CPN could be on to something. | |
|
stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-28 12:07:25 |
| thanks niklared. i'm not quite sure what i have lol! they diagnosed me wiv this BPD and i just feel different to how others feel in the group. Do you suffer from bipolar too? | |
|
Unanswered Thread: shyness is ruining my life posted by paul1984 10 hours ago |
|
|
Need to see a psychologist? Find reviews on the best doctors in your area at Angie's List
(Get access to thousands of reviews for a small charge) |
|
