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amythesx
Joined: Jun 20, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-22 15:34:07 |
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First I am sorry what happened to you and your family trayken, there are some sick people out there. Thank you for the encouragement and support. Second, tpsens, I found your post a little offensive and condescending. I do not wish to be screwed up I wish to be as normal as possible which is why I try so hard. Obviously I would not base my concerns on an online test, I am not a child or an idiot. I feel that people attempt to self diagnose all the time, I am not one of those people. I have spent my life in therapy, I did not go into detail because it is such a long story. Not because I wanted to be in therapy because it was court ordered starting at the age of five due to some experiences that I just as soon forget. I am not one of those people that look to blame their problems on their past or other people. I am however aware of what my previous psychiatrist told me and I am aware of my family history. Being conscious of my problems does not mean that I wish I was screwed up it simply supplies me with a tool to attempt to modify my behavior within normal acceptable limits. I hope this clarifies things for you and helps you re-evaluate the initial judgment you passed on me as it is not helpful to talk condescendingly to someone, someone with your degree should understand and know that. |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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helpafriend
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-23 07:07:16 |
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Some people are afraid to admitt they have a problem, I think this test is not meant to "diagnose", but it might help someone realize that there might be a problem. Admitting there's a problem is the first step to help. I truly believe in counseling. I've been to a few, some help, and then some are no help at all. But talking to someone who can help, is better than holding all your fears and feelings inside. |
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tpsens
Joined: Jun 21, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-23 10:40:45 |
| hey,fellow sufferers ,or is that surfers? try skype internet phone service online and hook it up to a belkins wifi phone with a three dollar a month subsciption. is a bad@ss little combo that will let you have a cell phone for about 6 dollars a month. start up cost is under a hundred and fifty dollars, a hundred for the phone and 50 dollars for misc. what has this to do with borederline disorder? very little, but it will take your mind off your problems for a while, and you get to whoop ma bells @rse. goodday. | |
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weeza29745
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-23 11:52:34 |
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Trayken: You're very strong to go on like you do and I'm glad you love your kids and care about protecting them. amythesx: Agreed. tspens: WT-. |
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DyingToBeNormal
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-23 18:17:18 |
| Hi, i've been reading about BPD and it seems to fit. I also am extremely anxious all the time.. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm constantly worried and questioning everything and everyone around me. My husband recieves the brunt of my outbursts. I am constantly having outbursts of anger when only slightly provoked. Then I'm back to normal, well at least not mad anymore. I don't understand why I have these ourburst. I'm tired of being worried all the time. I did have some bad experiences during my childhood, but it's been years since it's happened. I honestly think I've moved on. I have been doing alot of reflecting lately. Not about what happened to me when I was a kid, but how I acted when I was 13-17.... I was very permiscious..... I slept around and parties way too much.... When most 13 year old girls were having their first kiss, I was having sex for the first time.... Now um married, but I've been unfaithful. I love my husband, but I am constantly seeking attention from other guys. Is this how it's always gonna be? Why can't I just be happy with my current husband instead of feeling like I should move on to someone knew???? | |
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trayken
Joined: Jun 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-23 22:01:17 |
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Hello everyon. Thank you weeza29745, and everyone else out there. This is something very new for me, l don't usually talk about myself because l am usually looked at as if l am crazy, which l am not. l just look at things differently. To me, crazy is your slaves to society. Living the same day over and over again. For me, every day is different. Sometimes even one minute to the next. Every day that l live; from the moment that l wake up and put on my mask, (the face everyone see's), its a new day and it,s never the same. I try every day to smile; to break the mask l wear, the mask that l have to hide behind. Untill now. l haven't been able to talk to anyone because no one was willing to let me open up. My wife does not want to hear any of the things that l have to say when it comes to me having my episodes , (witch over the past while for me. have been very frequent), but then again, we were separated for 18 months because l opened my big mouth and let a professional know how l actually think, and feel. |
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trayken
Joined: Jun 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-24 07:50:35 |
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Sorry, it cut me off again,,, What l would really like to say to all of you out there is l sincerely thank you for taking the time to read what i have to say. Ive got to go now so l thank you all for listening, and have youselves a great day. |
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weeza29745
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-24 18:32:35 |
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Dyingtobenormal: Maybe you should talk it through with a relationship counselor... It won't always have to be that way. I hope. You can change, for the better, you just might need some guidance. trayken: A[no urls] You too. I thought professionals were supposed to help you, not take you away from the people you love. It's just not fair. Gives them a bad name, doesn't it? We're willing to listen. You have a blessed day. = ) |
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Paulax
Joined: Jun 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-24 18:51:15 |
| Hello World of Borderline’s..... You’re not alone... Were together in this and together we will find a cure if not a better understanding of why we do what we do... Along the way if times get dark and you lose faith... Just remember that you’re special... Borderlines are special people... We are special in good times and in bad... We feel for the world... that’s why were so messed up... :-) Peace and Love, Every body...xx | |
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LouisLover
Joined: Jun 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-24 19:17:20 |
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Hi, I just found this board tonight. In a way me potentially having bpd is so scary but in a way it finally gives a name to this chaos I call life. I just need to find a good professional to help me and or diagnose me. Dyingtobenormal, I don't know if you'll read this but I go thru the same things you do with men/love. I also am/was permiscious. And I've never once not cheated on a boyfriend. And were talking multiple times. And feel no remorse. I now don't trust myslef in a relationship that I so badly/unhealthily desire. I have major abondment issues and the first sign (which was my imagination) of being left I'd run to another guy and have sex with him. I'm also bipolar. But BP is so much more prevalent or talked about it seems. I feel like this disorder doesn't even exist. So scary Thanks for listening |
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trayken
Joined: Jun 17, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-24 22:27:59 |
| Thank you weeza 29745, you are right. Its not fair. When going for theropy you should be able to trust that the way that you feel and the things that you do would be kept confidential, and not passed on to any other organization. In truth, I can understand their concern, but after telling them that my children are safe and trying my hardest to prove this to them and them no beleiving anything that I have to say, well, its like being up against a brick wall that I couldn't get past. Not being able to prove to them that i am not a potential harm to my children made me wosre than they could imagine The pain that I and my familly went through was than anything I have ever experienced. I may lack on most emotions, but when it comes to my children, I feel as normal as the next guy. They are the reason that my heart pumps. They are the reason I am a being.Their smiles light the candles in my world. All I can do is ask the Good Lord that they are nothing like me. | |
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trayken
Joined: Jun 17, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-24 22:42:06 |
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Thank you all again for taking the time to listen and read what I have to say. I honestly do not know what or how I stumbled onto this site, but this is the first time ive ever been able to relate to anyone, so, I guess, I thank you all for being there and and being supportive. Again,I truly want to say , " Thanx everyon. May God blell everyone |
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trayken
Joined: Jun 17, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-24 22:55:17 |
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I meant to say, thanks everyone, and may God bless you all. Good night everyone. |
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DyingToBeNormal
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-24 23:09:14 |
| I want to go to a counselor bad!!!!! But my husband won't go!!! I have an episode and he promises to take me to a doctor, but then he doesn't.... I don't know what to do... We are broke as hell and we do not have any health insurance.... We just got the bill from when I was in the ER because I ODed.... f---ing over 4,000 bucks!!!!! How am I supposed to get help if I'm f---ing broke??? It's so frustrating. I desperately desire help... I do. I want to be back in control of my life, my emotions, and my actions... I'm so scared right now cause I feel that I'm going to eventually just lose it and no one will do anything to stop it... Mental Illness runs in my genetics. Bi polar mainly... But when I could afford to see a doctor....they told me I was just depressed and that It would get better with time and pills.... That's when I was 14, I'm 19 now... I take paxil.. It helps with my depression.... But that's it!!! It does nothing for my mood swings or my high level of anxiety.. I swear I'm to the point now where I always feel like I'm having a panic attack.. My hearts always racing( or so it seems to me)my mind runs wild with thoughts and fears of imminent danger.....I can't freaking sleep... Ever... I will go 48-72 hrs without sleeping(Not on drugs!) I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.. Is everyone that pretends to love me just gonna stand by while I lose my mind? Why won't they help me??? Why won't anyone help me? I'm prolly nor worth it... Worth the hassle, just let me go insane so you can stick me in a hospital and forget about me???why me? Why do I have to be f---ed up? It's not my f---ing fault my cousin was a sick pervert!! Why do I have to live a life of torment, while he gets to be happy? The world is a f---ed up place and I'm fed up with it... I don't know how much longer my will to live is gonna be stronger than my will to have peace. I don't know what happens after we die, but god damn it's gotta be better than this s---!!! | |
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roarybean
Joined: Jun 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-25 17:02:41 |
| Someone I love has BPD. Her mother was my good friend. The mother was a suicide, probable undignosised skitzophreic.(Sorry bad spelling). Her daughter has found me after 20 some years and we have developed a bond. Three month ago she lost her job, is no longer taking her medication,sprialing down. I found her a good therapist, which she agreed to see, but then blew off the appointment. The difference in her personality is dramatic! I don't want to lose her too. She has a one year old son, and a clueless baby-daddy. help me, help her. Just reading your posts have helped a lot. | |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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