Thread Topic: Any people on this site dx with BPD now 'normal' & happy
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ajd1988
Joined: Oct 7, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-07 00:50:03 |
| Linda, I have the diagnosis. I cut myself for 13 years. I've burned myself. I've broken my own bones. I haven't hurt myself in 10 years. It wasn't a magical fix. I still have the desires to explode and hurt myself. I just control them now. I didn't learn it in therapy. I just decided one day that I had had enough and wasn't going to do it any more. (I quit smoking that way too). I haven't. I take antidepressants and that helps some. Other than angering quickly and wanting to hurt myself when I get angry, I am very happy and well adjusted now. I have a husband and a 1 year old son. My life is wonderful. No one would know that I ever suffered with huge bouts of depression and anger and hurting myself. I'm not even sure how I ended up on this site tonight. The one piece of advice I can give you is to ignore it. If you protest it feeds it. I know you want to help but you can't. He has to do it on his own. You can't do it and neither can a therapist. When he's ready he will do it on his own. The drugs won't help either. Just know that there is hope. | |
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Unanswered Thread: my test results posted by darron46 3 hours ago |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-07 13:13:25 |
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Hello, I am 17 currently, I've never gone to a shrink, but I've been cutting and generally feeling miserable ever since 13 or 14. I was always shy as well, I never was comfortable talking to people, period. The reason I found this forum was because I read about Borderline in my summer psych course and thought, "Wow that is just like ME." I do blame my parents for how I am now, I think they're the major reason I turned out so terrible. Yeah I know a lot of people here will say how I just don't wanna admit it's all my fault, but seriously I really think if my parents had taken better care of me I would be at least normal if not excelling, cuz I know for sure im not stupid. my parents always put me down, whenever I'd try to get some praise for something good or challenging I did they would put me down by saying how easy it was, telling me to stop boasting about little things, although to me it wasn't ltitle. and whenever I did anything even slightly bad they yelled at me for hours and sometimes even hit me, I think they're the reason for my extraordinarily low self esteem. My mom, whenever I try to talk to her, she will not listen to me, she either laughs at me or ignores me entirely or yells how I have no right to insult her way of doing things, she calls me shallow stuck up and spoiled, she thinks I'm manipulating my brother to hate her and telling lies about her to my dad to split them apart. And my dad is so dumb, he refuses to see things as they are, that our family's falling apart and that we MIGHT actually have problems, he does stupid things that he thinks is "cute" and all family-oriented and he takes pictures and puts them on his desktop so that anyone who sees it would think he has a normal happy family. WOW WHAT A HUGE RANT ON MY PARENTS, but I'm just very angry at them. To cut it short YES MY PARENTS HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THIS MADNESS! I DEFINITELY BLAME THEM! and because of them I have such a negative feelingn about families and parents, when I saw the word "mother" in your paragraphs I immediately thought "meddlesome thinks-she-knows-all condescending shallow nonunderstanding" I don't know if you're like that or not but have you ever thought that the reason he use to be happy was cuz he didn't know anything? cuz that was the reason for me, when I think back to the days whwen I thought I was happy I realize it's only because I was so young and innocent and didn't know ANYTHING and i thought my parents loved me and would protect me. Then I went thru a lot of crap cuz of my thinking how my parents must always be right, so I must be the wrong one, then I realized how flawed my parents were and that's when I started being "disobedient", and my mom being nthe stupid b---- she is blamed it on TEENAGE HORMONES well f--- YOU MOM. I don't want to just forget about my family, I want them to disappear forever and leave me alone, either that or I want to die and get away from them. if I could be someone else I would. NO my parents weren't alcoholic, NO my daddy did not rape me, NO they were PERFECT COLLEGE GRADUATES WITH PERFECT JOBS AND A PERFECT HOUSE and I HATE THEM THE MORE FOR THAT BECAUES I CANT EXPLAIN HOW THEY ARE TO ANYONE ELSE, IF I TOLD MY FRIENDS THEY'RE ALCOHOLIC THEY'D UNDERSTAND. BUT THEY'RE' PERFECTLY NORMAL AND SWEET ON THE OUTSIDE AND SO NOBODY UNDERSTANDS, EVERYONE THINKS IM A SPOILED BRAT IF I COMPLAIN ABOUT THEM SO I KEEP IT SHUT BUT ITS MAKING ME MAD INSIDE!! God! |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-07 14:08:06 |
| Sounds to me the perfect loser prep kids and you outgrew them on your thirteenth birthday. Better start learning to raise yourself cuz your parents sure as f--- are barely capable of raising themselves let alone you. | |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-07 14:19:44 |
| Amen to that, most parents are f---ed up, no matter what they're like on the outside. | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-08 06:51:18 |
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Actually to be fair to them, they're not the perfect prep kids... they were pretty poor when they were young, my mom's dad was a alcoholic bum and my dad told me stories about how his dad would turn the table over if he didn't like the food on top. ._. maybe thats why they suck as parents now, cuz they didn't have role models... anyway they studied hard, managed to get into top college in Korea blah blah they were so perfect so they expect me to do eVEN BETTER than how they did, cuz I'm in such a nurturing, academic, wealthy environment. or something. ......... |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-08 06:51:55 |
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Yeah maybe I am spoiled, now that I think about it :( |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-08 08:28:30 |
| It depends, i define "spoiled" as those who WANT everything, not those who HAVE everything, and the person in question would, stereotypically, be stuck up. Which no-one on this forum appears to be so maybe you're not after all ^^ | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-08 09:19:40 |
| Yeah I really hope I'm not spoiled, cuz I'd hate myself lol | |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-08 10:36:20 |
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Yeah, they sound passively jealous to me. Youd think parents would naturally be proud to have a normal, functioning kid but many weirdos out there just wanna put a mental label on their kid. Ironically, most low class families wouldnt bother with such bulls---, cuz unless their kid has a REAL mental illness like autism or down syndrome, they got way more important things to think about, such as paying off the rent and making sure their kids get a diploma so they wont gotta work mimimum f---ing wage and end up like them. It's all the f---ing tards in the lower and upper middle class who obviously never experienced the hard reality, meaning on the street or barely off the street where you can end up in it anytime unless you work your ass off, while lawyers and cops make in one hour what you make in a whole day. Being fortunate enough to never visit this hellhole of a reality, its easy to withdraw into realms of fantasy such as psychology, just like the homeless do with heroin and clueless idiots with no lives do with religion. Anyway... I hope were not hijacking Linda's thread with all this incessant s---. |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-08 13:00:11 |
| Hip: Have you ever experienced the "hard reality"? :O just curious... | |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-08 13:42:54 |
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I have been drifting from city to city for a while, sometimes sleeping in my car when accommodation was not available or affordable. Ive been in the town I currently reside in for 9 months now, partly because I was promoted and finding a better job elsewhere would be difficult. The economy is floating on an ocean of s--- as it is. So yeah, i'd think i'm experiencing the solid reality. Theres not a more down to earth occupation than physical labor. |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-10-08 13:44:40 |
| Also, not once did I ever receive or ask for anyones help. Never lent nor owed money to anyone. | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-08 22:28:00 |
| wow.. I just hope I can be as brave as you when I leave home.. | |
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Unanswered Thread: Nuclear Apocalypse posted by Gumba Gumba 22 hours ago |
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