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disorderguy
Joined: May 5, '09
Status: Admin |
2009-05-11 09:53:10 |
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Cutting is a form of self-harm that is seem sometimes with borderline personality disorder. I don't have borderline myself and am not familiar with all the details. So maybe someone can help clear up my ignorance on cutting. I'm curious about why people cut. Because it is painful and leaves scars, there should be a natural inclination against doing so. But something must be overriding nature. Hopefully someone more familiar with cutting than I can help me understand. What compels people to cut themselves? |
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Unanswered Thread: Argh posted by Delirius 2 hours ago |
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sar21
Joined: May 13, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-13 11:27:30 |
| it is hard to describe the feeling. imagine air pressure in a tyre building up and building up so much that it nearly pops thats what it feels like then the cutting is a release of pressure | |
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kmt09
Joined: May 13, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-13 17:09:29 |
| I cut because its the only way I know how to release my anger and depression. | |
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bob
Joined: May 16, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-16 21:44:25 |
| when i cut i basically just think about how much i hate myself and im not cutting "me" im cutting the person who made all the mistakes in my life... it's weird. | |
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d_Outkast
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-17 12:53:30 |
| instead of cutting, which i used to do, i beat myself up in other ways... i starve myself when i do something wrong, i tell myself i am not worth the food i want to eat. its too good and i dont deserve it. i dont let myself do things that make me happy because i am a horrible person and again, dont deserve it. basically, i make myself believe i dont deserve happiness i dont deserve to get what i want or do things that make me happy as punishment for what i did or how i felt. i guess i dont cut myself anymore because it hurts me and people can see it. besides, i have enough scars from those days. | |
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xxMonsterxx
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-17 18:37:56 |
| There are many different reasons why* | |
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weeza29745
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-17 20:06:19 |
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Similar to what sar21 said, it can be all your pain building up inside of you and there's to much to STAY inside so you release it the only way you know how. For me, it was a reminder, and, similar to d Outcast, it says that you don't deserve this, that you are a horrible person and you punish yourself by inflicting pain upon yourself. That's how I felt. And as for the natural inclination, society is so messed up as it is, and human nature has changed, morphed to the point where we depend on physical objects naturally. Razorblades, a possible one of them. Perhaps it's a natural effect of known guilt. If you've been punished for doing something wrong multiple times in the past, chances are, if you think a certain way, you'll feel the need to be punished for being the cause of or doing whatever you think makes you deserve that. And chances are, whatever you thought was wrong may not be and you'll be the only one aware it was "wrong", so you'll be the only one to dish out the punishment. I don't know that much about it, only that I did it. That's my reasoning. Hope it helped. |
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d_Outkast
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-18 19:40:32 |
| weeza: i agree! ive been physically abused... hit for being "bad" or doing the wrong thing... i guess its my way of punishing myself. | |
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jmk18
Joined: May 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-19 11:12:09 |
| (at the beginning I apologize for my English but I hope it's readable). almost like Weeza said. I started cutting to punish myself for not doing anything about being sexually abused. like I had a choice and decided to do nothing. but soon I forgot why I even started, it became a magic way to deal with everything that was ever wrong. and now it reminds me that it will never be "perfect" and that I have to guard myself still. and not allow all that tuff to happen again. | |
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d_Outkast
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-19 15:47:44 |
| no one is perfect. and if someone were, im sure they'd hate it. | |
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the7thwreck
Joined: May 21, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-21 14:30:27 |
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The 'good' feeling you get with cutting mostly comes about by accident. I first started cutting because of an overwhelming sense of disgust at myself and thought a good way of punishing would be to cut. After that first time, when you see the blood flowing and your brain releases some kind of endorphins to calm you down, it feels really good, like an instant relief. So next time you get into a manic angry episode the cutting comes to mind so you end up doing it again. You can go from feeling like you will burst with rage to instant sedation and calmness. Thats why I think it becomes addictive and hard to stop because it seems to be such a quick fix. |
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Secondtare
Joined: May 22, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-22 18:01:52 |
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I first self-harmed because I was angry, and I didn't want to hurt others. I believe there is a misconception created by people who have never done it of it being painful, whereas that would be completely false - the feeling of self-harm is not painful at all. Also, I wanted people to notice the scars when I did it, as I was too reserved to talk to anyone about my problems, but sadly I regretted this in the mornings. I guess the feeling of it is indescribeable unless you have the inclination to do so. |
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weeza29745
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-23 15:46:52 |
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d Outcast and jmk18: Yeah... I was emotionally abused and bullied a lot in school (I still am) for things I couldn't help, so... I thought I was wrong. I thought it was my fault my mom died, so I couldn't forgive myself, so, I started cutting as punishment. In a sadistic way, it's says we're sorry... I think. Secondtare: Exactly! When you're doing it, it's like trying to get help, but then, (like you said) you regret doing it... It's very hard to tell someone, which is why we probably show them instead. A lot of us are probably afraid that if we told someone, they'd be scared of us or something. I guess it's the "impulsiveness" which is often linked to BPD... Take care. |
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mentalmama
Joined: May 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-24 12:42:38 |
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I used to cut when I was a teenager. I started cutting cause some girls at school were doing it, they thought it was cool I guess. I was in a foster home at the time and I was in so much pain. I thought maybe cutting would make me feel better... not sure why. It did make me feel better. When I cut I was able to focus on that physical pain which was so much better than the pain I felt inside. Unlike the girls at school I hid the cuts because I did not want to have to deal with a shrink. I stopped cutting when i had my son who will be 10 in june. I did not want to lose him. I have 4 kids now and my life appears pretty good. I very seldom cut now just a few times a year but I hit and scratch myself all the time. When I get upset I say i am not going to hit myself but I always do. I usually go in the bathroom and turn on the water so the kids wont hear me. I hit myself in the legs and in the head. I have hit myself so hard I thought I had a concution. It has been getting worse lately and is scaring the crap out of me and my husband. My mother is Bi polar, I know that I am not but she is so doped up on meds it scares me and I do not want to get hooked on meds. My father committed suicide and I swore I would never do that to my kids but if I did not have kids I would have done it a long time ago. I have not attempted suicide since I had kids but I struggle with it every day. It sucks to only live because u can't bring that kinda pain to your kids. I have no desire to live for myself and I often beg God to take me. I don't know I was just hoping maybe somebody was out there who could relate and had some ideas.... I want to be a better person for my kids I dont want them to grow up knowing they have a crazy mom like I did. |
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BlackBallet
Joined: May 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-24 18:18:25 |
| I'm 15, I've been a cutter for 5 years. When I'm asked why I cut I tell people it's like, for example, when you're getting a needle some people pinch themselves to distract themselves from the pain. For me cutting is sort of the same, except it's more intense emotional pain and thus more intense pain for a distraction, if that makes sense. | |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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