Borderline - Cutting Yourself

sadgrl Joined: Nov 11, '10 Status: New User	2010-11-11 14:32:56
	I was a cutter in high school and for me it was because i was hurting so bad but i didn't know how to talk about it. I still have that same pain - but now i use alcohol and sex. great huh? I have become far to vain (HPD)to give myself anymore scars.
weaslelou Joined: Nov 11, '10 Status: New User	2010-11-12 13:16:57
	i used to cut for so many reasons. bcoz i was numb inside, bcoz i was sad, bcoz i was manic. just any reason to cut and i would do it. it used to be so bad i'd need stitches but i never went to hospital to get them bcoz i was to scared about what doctors and nurses would say, so i used to do it myself with a needle and thread. other times i'd replace the urge to cut with a different addiction.any addiction. sex, drugs, alcohol, tats, piercings. its all just as damaging if not more so, so id always go back to cutting. the worst thing was, my mum was 'inspired' i suppose you could say, and copied my actions. i stopped for a while until about a week ago but i dont want anymore scars either. a few days ago, i was so overwhelmed by my urges i decided to tattoo myself instead (im an apprentice) so now i've got a lovely new tattoo which reminds me to be strong instead. hopefully it'll work.
Kodi Joined: Nov 13, '10 Status: New User	2010-11-13 13:00:18
	Well, Ive hurt myself but not only by cutting. Ive Burned Myself with my hair straightner as well and i only do it when someone hurts my feelings and gets me sad. i hate feeling like someone else has the power to make me CRY i hate feeling like they have power over my feelings so i cut myself to make myself fee like im crying b/c i cut myself and "it hurts" even though it doesnt when i do it.
HeathMaiden Joined: Dec 5, '10 Status: New User	2010-12-05 00:53:17
	I was close once to someone who cut himself. I was one of the few people he told that the scars were from self-inflicted wounds and not accidents. As best as I could understand his reasons (as someone who is not so inclined myself), he cut himself as a way of directing frustration and aggression. He didn't want to direct those feelings at someone else and possibly hurt them. He didn't have the means to be able to direct those feelings onto inanimate objects without causing damage that might be problematic to more than just himself. I believe that he felt like cutting himself caused harm to only himself and that it lessened the risk he would do something that might harm others. Like others have said, it's a release of pressure. If it doesn't get released, it will explode and might hurt more than just himself when it does.
j_help Joined: Dec 4, '10 Status: New User	2010-12-05 01:05:30
	Sometimes the emotional pain is so intense that you can't handle it and you need a release or an escape from it. So that's why ppl will turn to drugs to self medicate and escape or they will cut and that helps to release the emotional turmoil.
j_help Joined: Dec 4, '10 Status: New User	2010-12-05 01:08:57
	Also with BPD, in intense times, we can dissociate and therefore not even feel the physical pain b/c the emotional pain is more intense. There are tons of sites about BPD and they're very informative. FYI Marilyn Monroe, Princess Di, and Jim Morrison show sypmtoms of BPD.
heathendai Joined: Dec 8, '10 Status: New User	2010-12-08 10:56:42
	I cut there for I am! There are time when the void grows to large, the feelings grow to intense, and all the world needs is a little blood. I have not cut myself in years however, the desire is always there. Like a drug it frees me, makes the air I breathe a little sweeter and the food s little more flavorful. Over the years I have modified my methods of self abuse (well at least that is what they call it). I have perfected the art so well that those around me think nothing of my previous diagnosis or visits to the funny farm. Alcohol and drugs were my friends for years but even now I only occasionally drink. My new love was found over 10 years ago though SNot only am I fulfilling my sexual fantasies, but my love is unwilling playing a role in myself abusive behavior. We all have are reasons for loving the pain, needing the release, and grappling with our demons. Therapy and drugs may not be the answer for everyone; sometimes you just need to give in to how you are feeling and learn to make the rest of the world think you are ok. “You do not need to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds, our planet is the mental institution of the universe” (Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, 1749-1832)
taeyeon1144 Joined: Dec 9, '10 Status: New User	2010-12-09 17:25:44
	I just did it again... im being called poser, goth, and emo almost everyday ): this is the only way i can release my saddness and depression.
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