Thread Topic: Borderline - Cutting Yourself
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dyinglonely
Joined: Jun 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-01 20:06:07 |
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Unanswered Thread: What to do?! posted by Jeanine 1 hour ago |
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dyinglonely
Joined: Jun 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-01 20:11:43 |
| Simply put, I'm a long term cutter. Currently, I am 15 years old. I began cutting when I was four years old. For me, cutting is like my drug. I lightly press it to my skin, just enough to barely draw blood, and then I can periodically apply pressure and still feel the blade kissing my skin. In my situation, cutting isn't something I will ever be able to stop for to long, thst I know all to well. I, too, am introverted with all my feelings and put myself down. I can't make myself get close to people because of some MAJOR trust issues. But at the same time, I long to really trust someone. I want to trust someone, but I find myself unable. I feel as though no one will ever want something as pathetic and worthless as me, and that's diregarging my past problems to top everything off. | |
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phat_girl
Joined: Jun 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-01 23:33:27 |
| mentalmama: like you i started cutting as a teen and it continued well into my late twenties til my son was born. i too stopped for the sake of my son, who is now 7. i could have swrn that i was totally cured until a month ago when the urge was more than i could bear and for the first time in 6yrs i cut myself. what scares me most is how good and calming it felt. i know realize that i probably will never be cured, but i must stay strong for my son. thanks for your blog i now know there are other mos out there who are ggoing through this and you have given me the courage to keep fighting to get better. thank you and good luck | |
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therealme
Joined: May 29, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-02 08:51:30 |
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hey mentalmama duno if its realy ok for me to give advice but thougths about murdering yourself is a real battle for me to. Its so dumb but every time i think i am really at that point i remember this presentation we had at school when i was in like 3rd grade. "suicide is a permenent soulution to a temopray problem". dont know who said it but it has saved my life more times than i can realy count over the years. I think about how evey one i love would be better off without me daily. i have written countless notes to my family to try and tellthem that this is not their fautl and that i know they loved me with all their hearts, but in the end there are no words that you can write to make somone understand the murder of yourself. Any way the point is it made me understand that i Realy dont want to die but I just dont want to live like this any more.. And Yes there is a big diffence. Just put the other people in your life with problems out of your mind, you are not them. Medication is individual to each person. If you can afford to get help, seek help by a licened professional, Get some fresh perspective and maybe some new hope for your situation. sorry for the mountian fo text and bad grammar. hope you can weed out some usefulness. Best of luck |
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therealme
Joined: May 29, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-02 09:21:34 |
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mentalmama Oh ha some ideas for alternate cutting/scratching self harm. sometimes these things work for me. when you catch yourself feeling negative even a little.. Hit a punching bag. mine is about worn out. Buy some non toxic paint and finger paint. Yes Put your hands in it and smear it on the cavas. feel it between your fingers..lol realy get into it and let your pian come out in big bright or dark colors.(dont lick it though, not tasty!) Build somthing. Get a hammer some nails an some wood and build someting. My favorite project would be a green house. Maybe you need a dog house or play house for the kids or small box witha lock to keep your journal in. If you cant do that build a freaking card house. yea ive done that too. (hint knocking down the card house can be quite fun and with kids in your house no one would question your grabing the edge of the table and shaking it while yelling EARTHQUAKE..AHHH!) Build a scrap book about your kids or with your kids. I dont have kids but making scrap book pages about my nefew and sisters and brother helps me think of fun times and takes me away from negative thought. Write letters to people that you love. just simple Hope your day is going well. I love you type notes. Put a REal Stamp on it sign your name and send it out. Oh wait I almost forgot.. come to a place like this and post! I dont know why it helps but just the fact that there other people in the world that seem to be having the same problems that i have makes me feel better and less like a freak. And it is encouraging to see other people getting inspiration and finding some hope. Best of luck. |
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weeza29745
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-03 10:48:55 |
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kriti: I understand... I feel the same way. therealme: I feel what your saying... Way deep. Treasure what you've got with you. |
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freckleface
Joined: Jun 7, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-07 18:49:37 |
| i cut to get attention, but also punish myself for being so pathetic and to never forget what ever it is i did before i decided to cut. | |
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D e m i s a u r
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-10 13:46:38 |
| when i cut, i do it out of pressure or anxiety. i can't help myself. i normally cut in large quanities up and down both legs (i only wear jeans) | |
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D e m i s a u r
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-10 13:53:47 |
| when i cut, i do it out of pressure or anxiety. i can't help myself. i normally cut in large quanities up and down both legs (i only wear jeans) | |
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ritzy911
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-10 16:38:16 |
| hey im 15 and i just started cutting again and i really don't know why i cut. i usually don't cut deep, but i like to cut until i see blood.Im very confused about why i do it. i think it's the only way to get rid of my anger. if i cut i usually calm down it's really wierd, but im emabarrased too at school cause everyone always asks me why i do it and i tell them idk im confused. | |
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DyingToBeNormal
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-10 19:03:29 |
| I'm 19 years old and I've been cutting since I was 11. I was abused by a family member as a child and I know that has something to do with it. To me it's easier and actually comforting to cut myself than to deal with what happened. When I cut, all I'm thinking about is the blood that's dripping down my arm....as sick as that sounds it's heaven compared to thinking about what happened to me. Ive stopped cutting for almost a year now, only I've replaced it with binging and purging. I find myself laying in the tub crying because I want to cut so bad. I'm so tired of being so messed up. I don't know who to turn to. My husband looks at me like I'm crazy, my parents are disgusted with me. I've tried everything,meds, therapy, the whole nine yards, yet the only relief I get is when I'm making myself throw up or hurting myself in anyway. I have a superficially "good" life most would say. I'm young, smart, and attractive, but I just can't get past what happened when I was little. I desperately want to just be normal, to be able to go one day without feeling worthless.... | |
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D e m i s a u r
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-11 10:23:36 |
| i want to cut so bad right now. my freind is saying i'm not her friend just because i don't like her boyfriend (who is 4 years older than her). she won't talk to me, she ignores me and i can't stopo thinking aabout it... | |
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ForeverxFallen
Joined: Jun 11, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-11 12:59:57 |
| i cut because i feel like its what i deserve. i WANT scars. sometimes i just feel like a HAVE to do it. call me a freak, but i like watching myself bleed and suffer. its sort of like surface tension, and cutting releases it. | |
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DyingToBeNormal
Joined: Jun 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-11 16:27:46 |
| You aren't a freak. All cutters, including myself cut for a reason. People that have never cut themselves label us as freaks. If you've never cut you can't ever expect to understand why we do it. It's that simple. I can read where you said it's a release, and not only understand your mind set but feel those emotions that you feel right before you cut and right after. Sometimes I feel COMPELLED to cut myself. It's an extremely addictive habit.... It's just like chasing a high. The way I feel right after I cut and I start to see blood is complete euphoria. It's the absolute ONLY time I'm not replaying what happened when I was a child. It sucks that something as destructive as self mutilation is the only "therapy" that has ever worked for me. I don't cut anymore, because I don't want to lose my husband, but I've only replaced it with binge eating and purging afterwards. It's only a matter of time before my husband realizes what I'm doing, but I've tried to go the "normal" route..... Meds, therapy, hospitals..... None of that s--- works for me. I wish more than anything I could find a way to stop this horror movie in my head without hurting myself, but I can't. I'm still trying.... I get on different medicine every four months or so only to realize later it doesn't work for me.... My whole life has become consumed with finding a way to release this pressure that's inside of me. | |
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help_me
Joined: Jun 11, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-11 18:36:26 |
| i sat here and read all of you guys posts and it made me think that im not alone... that its not just me that has this problem... i have been cuttin myself for6 or 7 years... everytime i think im gettin better it gets worse... i tried to tell ppl but how can i come aross tellin them without lookin like a total nut case... | |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 14 days ago |
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