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hibou
Joined: Nov 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-08 16:04:15 |
| for me it's not trying to feel alive, its not to release all this pent up emotion, it may have started that way but it's evolved. now my cutting and hair pulling has evolved into an addiction of sorts. and lately its because i want my broken messed up inside to be reflected on the outside, not that people know about my cutting, but yeah thats my reasoning. | |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-08 19:58:43 |
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SuicidalCat: Thanks so much for sharing your story here. I'm so sorry that that had to happen to you, but so happy for you that you can be happy again. Maybe in a few years you can meet up your whole family again and really work things out. Sending good wishes! hibou: Yes I know how that feels as well, although I still do it sometimes to release emotions or stop being bored, I think half of the reasons is to prove to myself or someone else that I do have a problem, to show what I feel in a way they can see. Doesn't really make sense to me because I haven't showed anyone.. |
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talexander2005
Joined: Nov 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-08 21:48:10 |
| I am 29 bipolarII, PTSD, OCD and extremely depressed I just want peace. I want it to stop. I've started stabbing myself with needles to see the skin pierce and blood I want to see the white layer under the skin and then I feel high and my bad thoughts evade me for that night. | |
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flyawaygone
Joined: Nov 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-10 17:59:06 |
| I usually cut myself about twice a year, and just did again a couple nights ago. I was having an amazing weekend with new friends, and then I had to go home, by myself, to the never-ending quiet and loneliness. I live alone on the other side of the country from my family. The friends I've made here are brand new, so I don't want to scare them with my life struggles. I was up, and then as I was heading home, all I could think about was cutting myself. Then, like Secondtare said back in May, the next morning my arm looks like a tiger attacked me and it hurts like hell. I have to hide it at work, and from friends. If they see it, they think I'm looking for attention. So I have to hide it. But I like looking at it. I can see my pain on the inside on the outside. I stare at it. | |
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flyawaygone
Joined: Nov 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-10 18:11:59 |
| I just want to add that it's so nice to read about all of your experiences that are similar to mine. When my sister noticed some scars when I went to visit her, though we're best friends, she just didn't understand. I think she thinks I'm a freak. It's nice to "hear" from other cutters, to know that I'm not the only one! | |
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brat37
Joined: Nov 13, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-13 07:48:02 |
| Alot of people think people cut just for the attention. That may be true in some cases.... however, there are other reasons. When a person is depressed or has bipolar sometimes even when your taking medication you feel like you have so much on you that you have to release it. I used to cut on my left arm.... not being funny at all but it looked like freddy kruger got ahold of me..... when people started making comments about it I covered it and then started cutting in hidden places which is my right leg... I never cut deep enough to hit a vein but I still am putting myself at risk of infection but I can't stop..... when I get angry its the first thing I want to do....... | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-13 08:49:30 |
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brat37 it is true that there are lots of reasons for cutting and everyone has different mix of reasons but I want people to know that if someone is doing it even partly for the attention, that isn't necessarily bad. If they want attention they probably haven't gotten much of it and they want other people to see that they have a problem and try to help, in this way doing it for attention is kind of like reaching out for help. One thing cutting's helped me with is anger control, I use to not be able to control my anger and I would get so mad I didn't know what to do (which is the reason I started self harm in the first place), but I think I can control my anger better now, even thinking of cutting makes me feel more calmed down |
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hope
Joined: Nov 13, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-13 19:36:39 |
| I don't mean to make this sound like a life story or something, but I think it's the best way you all will get where I'm coming from. I'm 16 years, diagnosed with Borderline, Bipolar, and Depression. I have also struggled with self injury for about three years and attempted suicide three times. I started hurting myself because I felt so many different negative feelings and did not know how to cope with those in a healthy way. Things at home were pretty bad and I just continued to hurt myself for the next three years. In those three years, my self injury became really severe to the point that I was hurting myself multiple times a day daily, almost died accidently, and ended up attempting suicide because I felt that I was never gonna stop hurting myself. I did stop for a few weeks here and there, and that was usually just after I got discharged from a behavioral hospital. While I was at home and even in the hospitals, I would still find ways to hurt myself, usually severely. I cut so deep that I had to get stitches 8 times, damaged a tendon in my left arm, and cut through veins in both my wrists. I bit my arm and took a whole chunk out it. I've had surgery 7 times (for something I would rather not post in order not to give anybody ideas). I almost had to get a skin graft when I made a third degree burn on arm. A year ago, when my injury was pretty severe, I decided that I didn't want to live anymore because I felt that I was just gonna keep hurting myself. I attempted suicide three times and got extremely lucky that I didn't die. Slowly in February after injuring really severely, the hospital I was at decided to transfer me to an RTC for self injurers. I went there in March and was discharged in August. Going there helped me so much in so many different ways. I still have my struggles but I can better deal with them now. I haven't hurt myself since February-9 MONTHS- and even if I still have the thoughts and urges to hurt myself, I know that I won't. I just want you all to know to not give up- and as I like to say- JUST KEEP SWWIMMING. | |
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emogirl3
Joined: Nov 8, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-15 19:23:22 |
| I cut my self again its been like 2 and half days since | |
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emogirl3
Joined: Nov 8, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-15 19:25:19 |
| i did it, I went to a physiatrist and he told me to call if I had cutting thought but I didn't call,to much of a hassle i think. this time on my right arm instead of my left | |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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