the way you cut yourself

haart Joined: Oct 17, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-01-11 21:43:45
	I have a lot of time for people going through depression, I've been there. But talking about the 'freedom' that results from suicide really s---s me. You're dead, not free. They're mutually exclusive states.
MeMyselfAndI Joined: Dec 10, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-01-11 22:30:19
	My grandpa died today, that leaves me grandfatherless. One commited suicide, one died on the streets homeless and alcoholic, and 1 from cancer. Oh and I had 3 grandpas because my grandma remarried.
Cutterkid Joined: Jan 9, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-11 23:20:52
	(haart) the freedom I am talking about is in death there is no more pain no more hate and anger idk if I am rite but every night I sit there awake (I have Insomnia) just sitting there wishing I could feel deaths embrace into sweet nothingness who knows I might just be insain o well it's hard to explain
haart Joined: Oct 17, '09 Status: Senior User	2010-01-12 01:49:25
	I have insomnia too, chronic insomnia. It gives me a lot of time to think. Nothingness wont be sweet. You cant feel relief when you're dead. It wont feel like the weights have lifted from your shoulders. Freedom is just an inappropriate term, I know I'm pedantic but it's better than being an idiot.
Cutterkid Joined: Jan 9, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-12 04:40:03
	Only 1 way to find out lol :)
Timpanilove Joined: Jan 2, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-12 08:04:01
	I sorta wanna die too, but I'm not strong enough mentally to do anything. I think that's why I cut, it's the closest thing I can do to actually killing myself. :(
kjs Joined: Dec 2, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-01-12 08:09:30
	no no no.....take a deep breath....so much good out there...take it from me...please no more talk about suicide..
aca6 Joined: Dec 19, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-01-12 15:18:39
	Yeah, suicide most likely isn't the way out even it is tempting. Think of one thing you want to live for, if you don't have anything to live for then make one because if there isn't anything you like in life then there is no point anyways. (hope that made sense)
LoveIsDead Joined: Jan 10, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-12 15:24:05
	ah.. I kind of understand but to me freedom would be living without being depressed then really happy then horribley angry and an then backtothe start. i would not have to cut to be happy and I could just be as normal as possible. I don't want to have to mutilate myself just to feel. slightly relived. that is te freedom I'm waiting for
Cutterkid Joined: Jan 9, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-12 15:25:00
	What happens when every thing you once lives for Is gone i am alredy dead in side just tapped in this body stuck here hate my life and getting made at people just because they have a reason to smile
kjs Joined: Dec 2, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-01-12 15:45:23
	find a reason to smile....do you really not care at all..about anything..do you have a friend...what about your family...a sibling....i have felt the way you feel several times...it is good that you talk about it...keep talking...we are listening
aca6 Joined: Dec 19, '09 Status: Junior User	2010-01-12 15:58:24
	Just talk. Mostly everyone that has had extreme mood swings like that wants to get rid of it and try to be happy but find that they can't do it so easily. It helps when you can get it out. Sometimes people just need to, even if they complain that's still a way to get some emotions out. Sometimes people feel dead inside and feel like there's nothing to live for but find a small thing because sometimes it can make all the difference. I know I can be confusing so sorry if the previous post confused anybody, :/ Just find a reason to laugh or smile even if it is idiotic if only to let some emotions out.
Cutterkid Joined: Jan 9, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-12 17:40:37
	My girl friend started cutting her self cuz of me I constantly brake her trust and she says that she dose not know how to handel/help me my mom has not gottin a full night of sleep in god knows how long and now she is sending me back to juvi because I violated parole cuz of my drug adictions I tried to stop but I was to weak and well there is not much more I can say other I have been dead for a long time any way
one_and_only Joined: Nov 30, '09 Status: New User	2010-01-12 18:52:11
	Now I'm a pill popper it takes away everything!!!it makes u happy!well hyper. But I still cut.there really isn't anything I wild live for so I'm tryin to buy as many differnt pills as possible to have an overdose but my freind only gives me 4 sucks
Cutterkid Joined: Jan 9, '10 Status: New User	2010-01-12 18:58:47
	I have been popping aderall alot lately it's really not worth it somtimes my supply gose dry for a few days or even a week I know it dose not seem like a long time but the withdrawl come quick and stays I feel like I am going to die from the pain alone
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