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jtg
Joined: Oct 18, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-18 22:36:42 |
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i grew up on a farm in rural west virginia and was an only child. my mother raised me but she was working most of the time. i started to develop my own little lives during this time (damn it was fun to be a pirate!) and daydreaming. the older i got, and the more socially exposed i was, i would always want to get away from social situations and go home and just lay in bed and daydream. i'm married, and this behavior has been detrimental to my life. my grandmother is an avoidant, so i think that this is genetic as well as an environmental thing. just wondering if anyone else does this and if they would like to share their experiences. i'm really curious as to what everyone else thinks about when they 'run away'. personally, my favorite thing to think of when i'm in bed is a post-apocalyptic world (an avoidant's dream!) and i'm in my little cabin in the middle of nowhere, able to go out and know that noone else is around. that always seems to comfort me when i go to bed at night. cheers |
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Unanswered Thread: What to do?! posted by Jeanine 3 hours ago |
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Din
Joined: Oct 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-19 13:03:41 |
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I do this all the time! I thought it was perfectly normal to daydream until a few weeks ago, when my psychologist told me to count the hours I daydream. This is easy, because when I daydream, I'm either on the swing (like a little emo kid, lol.. I'm nowhere near emo though), pacing, or in bed listening to Pandora. I usually either daydream of a fantasy-ish setting, or me doing something great that gets me lots of recognition, so I don't think I suffer from avoidance... But I know what it's like, going away from "this" world so often. |
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wowu
Joined: Sep 30, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-19 14:23:06 |
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itg - why do you think it is 'genetical' thing. From what you have written about yourself clearly follows that it was because you were all loner and your mother didn't keep enough attention as you were growing up. I hate genetic argument when it is so clearly said that it was purely environmental. Ok - your grandpa as well was avoidant - you know what - I would rather say that in your family must be some triggering way of behavior, way of thinking which makes some of the family members have this issue - because other family members treat them in this not other way - like make the same mistakes while raising children. It is well known fact that parents make the same mistakes as their parents did - it just happens. This is how life is. |
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Bird
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-19 16:34:47 |
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I fantasize all the time. I always thought I would drop it, but now I'm in university and I still do it. I was in public school during the pokemon phase, so most of my fantasies then were basically a cross between Pokemon and The Jungle Book, because I imagined I was trying to build a home for myself in a jungle setting with various friendly and unfriendly animal personalities with me. It sounds absolutely stupid now, but I would get so wrapped up in what we would do for our time. We lived in a tree house. I eventually moved on to more original fantasies and never grew out of this habit. The fantasies are much more mature and relistic now-no more bloody Pokemon. I am trying to write these fantasies down for the purpose of making novels out of them so that they will be doing me some good. |
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JohnSmith
Joined: Oct 14, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-19 23:21:09 |
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I actually caught myself a few months ago on this. I'm awake about 16 hours a day and I spend all of them daydreaming half the time. Personally, mine are less immature, unrealistic, and have little to do with the real world. I see myself as a very different person, where my only friends are made up people that I create myself, although there is always something unoriginal involved, sometimes even duplicating something from another story. I have my little story embedded into my mind, and it will stay there forever. When we die, we get anything we want, right? That is what I will get. That is my life, not this current charade. My real life is that, all this is is a little delay. Why do I fantacise? Because I hate myself, I hate life, I hate worrying about the IB diploma, I hate worrying about getting my Ph.D. from Oxford, I hate having to worry about publishing theories about Quantum Mechanics, and I hate what comes after that. NOTHING! Physics is the best and my most favorite thing in the world and I hate it because it has set me on a path to this place: The End: Wow, you became the best of your class, got a Ph.D. from Oxford at age 22, confirmed (blah) theory that you thought up yourself, and got recognition from Stephen Hawking and his colleagues! You have accomplished nothing in your life. You can either stay here or go kill yourself. tl;dr, I fantasize as well. Even if I became some superher and saved everyone, it still doesn't count. Whatever I do, I haven't accomplished anything. |
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jtg
Joined: Oct 18, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-21 09:18:43 |
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wowu, well my case for the genetics deal is that both sides of my family, maternal and paternal have pyschological problems. i can tell that it is some more than an environmental problem. there is no rhyme or reason for how it works with me. and it's not shyness. sometimes i feel like running away from my best friends, and then there are times when i can talk to anyone and not have a problem with it. there are no definitive 'triggers'. as for it being environmental, i do believe that has a lot to do with it, but i just believe that it brought the genetic problems out even stronger. so there is a case for both, and i believe that they go hand in hand. |
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jtg
Joined: Oct 18, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-21 09:30:00 |
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bird, i do the same thing! i've been writing down all of my daydreams and if i ever get the gumption (and grammatical skills) i want to write a book. yeah, most of mine have grown up a bit. i still have the book type daydreams, but a lot of mine are about family and friends, also. i like to imagine having a party or just hanging out with my family and saying all the things i never have the courage to say normally. have them say all the things that i wish they would say. then when they don't for real, i always feel let down even though i know it's all in my head. lol, love being crazy! |
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kk88
Joined: Oct 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-25 17:25:04 |
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I've been living in a fantasy world ever since i can remember and i'm at university now. I fantasise about relationships (both romantic and friendship). I feel like i'm socially inept, I have few friends, never had a boyfriend, and fear social situations yet its something I really wish I could have.. I wish I was more sociable and have more friends. I have realised that in the last 6/7 years I have gotten worse and have come to the point that I just have nothing to say to people, not even my friends. Even though they make an effort with me, they run out of things to say to me. I am worse when I am talking one-on-one with someone. When i'm in a group I am better. When I was younger I was always the loudest, most talkative in a group. Over the years I gradually became less like this. Only recently have I realised that there is something wrong with me fantasising this much. Though I have acknowledged for a long time about my social inadequacy. I feel to embarresed to tell people I know about all of this. |
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wowu
Joined: Sep 30, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-12 06:57:51 |
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daydreaming is the case of mine but I have never made any long lasting stories out of it. itq - well, if your parents have 'issues' so they could be a 'bad' example for you is some areas of life. I believe that my mom and dad are shy people. That is why I am shy. I have been brought by shy people. And you know what - I think I'd like the way I am if I didn't hate this anxiety everytime I got to go to office, or make anything with other people. That is good that you can see a big, bright light at the end of the tunnel. ... and this is not a train :) |
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