Thread Topic: here is my problem
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jimm4000
Joined: May 22, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-22 10:40:05 |
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I always feel uncomfortable around others and after thinking about why, I came to a conclusion. I am a 30 y/o male, but for some reason I feel like I am still a kid. I don't feel like an adult, which makes me feel inferior around other adults. I second-guess myself all the time and pretty much lack confidence. When I look at other people my age, particularly other men, I feel like I don't compare to them. Part of the problem is I physically look young. I could pass for 10 years younger. I'm also self-conscious about my lack of muscle. My problem isn't all about physical attributes, but that contributes to it. I guess I can't really explain it, but there's just this feeling that I don't stack up to other men my age and I still feel like a boy. It's getting ridiculous, I mean I'm 30! If I could somehow be more assertive and find some confidence maybe I could turn things around. Thanks for reading. |
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Unanswered Thread: Avoident or not? I'm confused. posted by Catcat 1 hour ago |
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NC708
Joined: Jun 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-02 16:37:31 |
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NC708
Joined: Jun 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-02 16:47:39 |
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You're not alone in this, I myself am 23 and I get the exact same feeling. Especially when I try to go out with friends they seem to be running circles around me when interacting with people I usually just end up sitting down somewhere out of the way and watching everything go on, sometimes they they try to pull me into conversations but I find I can only say a few words and everyone goes on about thier business. I feel like i'm stuck at being 13 again its gotten alittle better in recent times but theres still an incredible drive to keep my thoughts and actions to myself even if i'm olny around one person I don't know. I just don't feel I stack up most of the time its very frustrating. Hope my non-coherent rant helps even if its just a little. |
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jimm4000
Joined: May 22, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-21 14:31:41 |
| Thanks, it does help to know I'm not the only one. It's very hard to be around people who socialize so naturally and wonder what is so wrong with me that I can't seem to get a word in. | |
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cheshire83
Joined: Jul 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-02 04:03:43 |
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Wow I didn't realize this was that common a thing. I know exactly what your talking about. I'm 25 but constantly told I look much younger (usually 17-19). For some reason everyone thinks I should be happy I look young, I guess because when I'm older I'll look 40 instead of 50 in theory? Either way, no it doesn't make me feel all that happy. I graduated in 2001 and I constantly feel like I should still be in grade 11/12. This is killer on confidence as you said Jimm. I find myself, on the occasions i do get a call to be in a social occasion, saying very little. Usually under the pretext that im an "observer" or something. At least thats what I seem to always tell myself. whatever that means. Either way I'm quiet, not at all assertive, small in stature and muscle, and apparently look 17..even though im nearly 30. Just another rant but hope it helps you feel not quite so alone. |
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Liverpool
Joined: Sep 12, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-12 17:43:09 |
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I too have a similar problem but I'm 16. I usually feel inferior to most people my age and even younger, depends on how I know them. It's not easy for me in social situations to say something mature or acceptable because I'm constantly thriving to do so which in turn makes me say something out of line or stupid. I've always been told I'm younger than I look too, I tried to buy a 16+ game the other day and got rejected because cashier thought I looked 14. Even though its sometimes nice to get told I'm younger than I actually am it does affect me, it feels like I can't grow up or even talk with people my age. I also have other complications when it comes to social/personality but I thought I'd share my part and show even at 16 people experience this. I hope you don't feel your on your own now and accomplish what your aiming for. |
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Goldfalcon
Joined: Sep 13, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-13 15:38:34 |
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Hope you find release and happiness . Sorry I cannot be of more help . |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-09-13 16:02:50 |
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"I've always been told I'm younger than I look too, I tried to buy a 16+ game the other day and got rejected because cashier thought I looked 14." I tried to buy a lottery ticket yesterday, i'm almost 17, was actually drunk at the time, had a bit of a beard and the guy, who looked younger than me, said i looked 15. /sigh |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-13 16:27:07 |
| Neh I feel the same way, except for looking younger part. People thought I was in college since I was in 8th grade ... made me feel bad :( | |
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Sativa
Joined: Sep 29, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-29 01:23:24 |
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Wow, thats the first time i've read someone talk about feeling much younger than they are/should be, but its precisely what I feel. Im 20 and I feel like I have the physical maturity of a 15 year old, and its debilitating. |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-09-29 02:29:04 |
| It's called waving your ID. | |
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bigb
Joined: Dec 7, '09
Status: New User |
2009-12-07 21:15:40 |
| i have read all thesr posts, so i will answer for most all of them. i too fit the discrption most you guys are talkin about.. you know. look younder then my age, kinda a shallow feeling when going out. I am 19 right now and i felt like i had it all back in highschool The girls, rich parents friends and Better friends! my life took a downward fall when i had a buddy of mine shot dead where i grew up in vegas... thats a story for another time. i know its no excuse.. but i found myself falling in to oxycotin.. long story short i got new friend... drug ones. :P and lost my old. i think this drug has litterally ruined my life to an extent.. end the end of it all i cleaned up. BUT now i go out and feel like everyone is looking at me for my past... i feel as if everyone in the room knows im addicted to the s---. its a helpless feeling. for the ones who dont know this feeling i suggest you never find out. | |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-12-07 21:34:59 |
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bigb, weve been on a similar ride it seems. Last year when I decided to take my project on a whole new level, I found myself hooked on oxycontin as well as other sweets. The others I developed an immunity to really quick, but I couldnt let go of oxycontin. I ended up having to sell off my equipment in the end, my project and business fudgepacked because of my addiction (got hooked on my own stash, how f---ing pathetic eh?). I thought I could handle myself, and could slowly ween off it, but quitting it probably f---ed me over worse than my baddest oxy trippin days. I again overestimated myself and thought I could deal with it and start fresh, dead wrong. Had to come clean to my boss, told him I needed help so I got an extended sick leave while I got a ticket to the methadone clinic to recover. Are you still dealing with the withdrawal from that s---? You should get cleaned up. |
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Unanswered Thread: shyness is ruining my life posted by paul1984 3 hours ago |
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