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chia
Joined: Sep 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-24 13:00:02 |
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Hi everyone, I wanted to just share my story in the hope that I am not alone. I came up very high on the avoidant scale. I made no close friends at uni and was lonely the whole time, but i made it through somehow. I was very depressed but lucky that I had a long term boyfriend back home that I am still with. It is no lie that he is my one true friend. I have a female friend that always wants to meet up with m ut I have found that is really because she wants me to driver her eerywhere and pay for things.. since then I found that she ha stolen form me so I have kept her at arm's length. Anyway I started looking up forums on social phobia because I really want to overcome it. I have recently started a new job anad I was hoping it would be a chance to make friends. I have been there about 3 months now and still can't get past two words of conversation before it fizzles out and they all wander off and talk to someone far more interesting. I come across as really boring.. I keep my tone even with no reactions and keep conversation to a minimum and this is purely to avoid people thinking that I am weird. Instead they think I'm cold and distant and just not interested in them.. but this is not true either. People get bored of me quickly and just don't try to talk to me.. I will try to talk to them but run out of things to say after hi and how are you? I just can't think of anything to say! It is so frustrating but i have no way out of it. my mind goes blank and i think of things i could have said later on and then kick myself. I just seem to have no personality. People think I am someone I am not.. they think they have to act serious around me because I can't handle their humour and this is soooo not true.. i'd love to laugh with them but my jokes are never funny and i humiliate myself! I really want some advise on how to overcome this. my boyfriend is the complete opposite and has soo many friends and he gets frustrated with me an thinks I am being lazy if I don't make the effort to go out and meet people. I haven't let myself go in soo long an I really need a good laugh with a good friend who will like me just for being me. Can anyone truely overcome social phobia??? |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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help3988
Joined: Sep 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-24 16:53:37 |
| If you still use this, E-mail me. I have several personality disorders and could use a friend too. [no emails] | |
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FallenAngel1
Joined: Sep 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-24 21:23:45 |
| If any1 wants to talk then i would love to have a friend to talk to. I have several disorders, which i would love to talk about and will listen to others troubles, and could probably relate to them. x | |
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Majaw
Joined: Sep 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-25 19:25:09 |
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Hi chia, I also scored a high in this category. And yes I think that a person can overcome social phobia. Most of phobias can usually be cured if you face them many times and I don't think social phobia is any different. Guess we both just need to get more experience. But I guess just don't do anything that will put you out of your comfort zone imensely. You'll become someone you're not, and that is exhausting to keep up. Try talking about your interest with other people that are ismilar to you And yes I can relate to you quite a bit. I just went through high school, and it wasn't like I didn't have any friends. I had a decent number of them, but I was just never very close to most of them cept for one or two. I sometimes get scared that I might go through life without making close friends...Also, have you told your boyfriend about how you feel about this yet? |
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johndoe31
Joined: Sep 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-25 21:36:33 |
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hi so lately i feel like im about to loose grip... and b4 i do id like to fix stuff so here is what i came up with Disorder | Rating Paranoid: Very High Schizoid: High Schizotypal: High Antisocial: High Borderline: Moderate Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: High Avoidant: Very High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: High now i've always known i was messed up, but im hopping that test isnt acurate lol ima go cry now |
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Scooby
Joined: Sep 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-26 07:29:28 |
| Hey chia just to let you know I can relate to your story and that I do believe that you can overcome social phobia Because I am starting to overcome my social phobia over the last few months me and my friends have noticed a big difference in me. What I have been trying to do is step outside my comfort zone but as you will probably know this is not easy at all but I have been taking little steps at a time and I believe I will get there. Last night I went outside my comfort zone I phoned up a girl that I have not known for that long it was with a little push from my friend because he wanted to find out where her and her friend where because we were about to go home and we wanted to meet up with them. But any way I really do believe that you can overcome it if you take little steps at a time because it wont happen over night. | |
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invisible
Joined: Sep 21, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-27 12:46:35 |
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wow you are exactly the same as me. except that i am still in highschool. but i also got very high on avoidant but the whole time i was reading i was nodding my head and in my head thinkin "yeah that is so true" my boyfriend is the complete opposite of me but he excepts the fact that im not comfortable around his friends(at least i think he does) people for as long as i could remember come up to me and say "why are you serious?" or "you creep me out" and i notice a lot is that when i wanna say somethin to someone in my head ill be like "ok just smile and say hi" but my body does not respond and ill just keep looking down at the floor and walk past em. |
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overaged
Joined: Oct 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-26 08:49:22 |
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To get the age thing out of the way I am 58. Male and not balding. Now all of you can run and hide in your safe cyber world instead of reading further. My granddaughter is on this thing somewhere and she feels she is a loner and seperate from others. Only recently she said she has decided to start offering her hand in friendshiip. That is a hand shake. To introduce herself to those that dont scare here. I know she has potential but is scared by her past environment. She has a good support not great but goood support group. So 16 and outcast, you are not alone in feeling you cannot fit in. You probably do and can't see it. There are people around you that can help point out where you fit in but you can't see them. Respect |
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overaged
Joined: Oct 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-26 08:55:13 |
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Hello Chia I am the overaged one and have no degree and lots of life experience, such as orphanage and forster homes and military and cop and stuff. If you want and older person prospective I have one. I have 7 grand kids and 4 are teenage. I try and help them and they always help me. I also have many personality disorders. you are safe. I will probably never figure out how to get back on this program again. My granddauther of 14 opened it. I am just coppying her. Respect |
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Jeanine
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-03 10:10:06 |
| Listen to how others talk. Take your time speaking.this is how far i am and i talk more now.too much! Lol bt after and during a social i think bad thoughts about myself like they think im stupid and irritating. They dnt like me. Nobody visits me and i am suspecting those reasons and that ppl are jealous of me cause of my looks and what i hav. Nobody knows me and maybe im too boring for them. | |
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beri
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-03 19:11:22 |
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Hi chia, Reading your post seems like I am hearing myself speak. I'm not sure if you're still reading this thread, but if you are and you'd like someone to talk to, I also really want to make some friends. I joined this forum because I read your post and it reminded me so much of myself. |
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mariana
Joined: Oct 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-08 14:31:33 |
| Wow...we sound amazingly alike. I'm in college right now and I literally have no friends here. I have one friend back home, but I only see her on the rare occasion that I go home for a weekend or for a holiday. But everything you said sounds just like me. I hope you are still reading this thread and maybe we could talk? Or anyone else who is still reading this thread. I've always been somewhat of a loner, but I have honestly never been as lonely as I have been for the past few months - I just need someone to talk to... | |
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Logic Rules
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-10 19:22:25 |
| Yes, of course they can. The only question is 'Are you willing to?' If people don't talk to you, reach out to them. If they ignore you, they aren't worth your time in the first place. Join groups or participate in discussions you feel that you are able to discuss. You'll find others who are interested in the things that you are. | |
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observer
Joined: Nov 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-19 13:54:39 |
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Hi Chia, There's a website written by a college student (I'm guessing he's a psych major) that I found really helpful. Search for "succeed socially" on any Internet search engine and you'll find it. The site I'm talking about is NOT a dating site and does NOT want you to sign up for anything. It has sensible advice on slowly building friendships and gaining confidence in social situations. |
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erinro
Joined: Nov 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-19 20:34:39 |
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Hmm.. At the risk of sounding lame I feel like giving everyone in this thread a hug. Good luck to you all. Yes, social anxiety can get better. |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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