Thread Topic: I've had undiagnosed social anxiety for many years
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kash
Joined: May 18, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-18 13:58:57 |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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kash
Joined: May 18, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-18 14:12:35 |
| Oh my god - I've just found this forum after researching what I've always thought to be extreme shyness, and although I'm sorry that so many people suffer, I'm also relieved that I'm not alone here!!! Social situations absolutely drain me. I do enter them frequently in the hope that they will get easier (they haven't - since as far back as i can remember), but its so difficult, I'm ok for about 10-15 minutes but then i drain and my mind just goes completely blank if I try to speak to people and I'm sure I must look really rude? stupid? uncomfortable? awkward? gormless? uninteresting/ed? ...the list goes on. I just can't think of things to say, and I feel like going into my shell when i look around and see everyone else chatting comfortably and flowingly. And I always feel like my vibe makes others feel uncomfortable - which in turn makes the whole damned thing escalate even more to the point where i just want to leave right away - but often can't coz that would look even worse, aaarrrgh! I get home after social situations and feel so tired from the mental exhaustion. And I don't feel like i can tell my family coz they are all mostly confident people who wouldn't understand. They don't know coz i guess i'm good at covering it up because im embarrassed. Anyway, i could go on and on and on about it for pages and pages...I just want to get rid of this out of my life and feel normal and comfortable thats all :) | |
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kash
Joined: May 18, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-18 14:16:06 |
| Oh my god - I've just found this forum after researching what I've always thought to be extreme shyness, and although I'm sorry that so many people suffer, I'm also relieved that I'm not alone here!!! Social situations absolutely drain me. I do enter them frequently in the hope that they will get easier (they haven't - since as far back as i can remember), but its so difficult, I'm ok for about 10-15 minutes but then i drain and my mind just goes completely blank if I try to speak to people and I'm sure I must look really rude? stupid? uncomfortable? awkward? gormless? uninteresting/ed? ...the list goes on. I just can't think of things to say, and I feel like going into my shell when i look around and see everyone else chatting comfortably and flowingly. And I always feel like my vibe makes others feel uncomfortable - which in turn makes the whole damned thing escalate even more to the point where i just want to leave right away - but often can't coz that would look even worse, aaarrrgh! I get home after social situations and feel so tired from the mental exhaustion. And I don't feel like i can tell my family coz they are all mostly confident people who wouldn't understand. They don't know coz i guess i'm good at covering it up because im embarrassed. Anyway, i could go on and on and on about it for pages and pages...I just want to get rid of this out of my life and feel normal and comfortable thats all :) | |
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disorderguy
Joined: May 5, '09
Status: Admin |
2009-05-18 14:36:16 |
| needsout, so you are in high school. Have you joined any sports or clubs? I found this was a way to connect with other people. In my case it was with the track team. Between track and field events, there is something for just about anyone. | |
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Apersonisme123
Joined: May 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-19 11:19:52 |
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PeoplePhobic
Joined: May 5, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-22 08:56:13 |
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kash, I agree, confident people have zero understanding of our issues. They can't relate at all. But I guess it's no surprise, afterall I can't relate to the issues of someone with say OCD or other disorders. If there was one thing I could tell confident people about us social phobic people, it would be this. Just have a little patience with us and give us the benefit of the doubt. We're not as weird as we seem, so try to get to know us. That's all. |
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Mimi
Joined: May 22, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-22 10:00:52 |
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What a relief to know that I'm not the only one...I never knew that there was a name for my social dysfunction. You're right, PeoplePhobic. We're not weird, we're just hyper-sensitive to how we think we are perceived. |
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NC708
Joined: Jun 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-02 17:24:33 |
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Wow I didn't know others had this problem to such a degree. I have to say even typing these sentences i'm thinking about how they are going to be perceved by all of you. I'd have to say most of my problems started in the transition between elementary and middle school, though I had a fair amount of friends and was very open in my younger years I found later sociallizing got much harder, there seemed to be tons of unwritten rules around and I didn't know any of them and I quickly introverted into a shell often comming off as either angry, sad or simply snooty. I had and luckly still have a close circle of friends but my problem progressed through highschool as I realized how far behind it seemed I had gotten in talking with people, especially women. While I seem to get along fine with men, a fact I attribute to my friends, i'm 23 now and talking to any member of the oppisite sex freezes my mind cold, I couldn't tell you the first thing to say, even "Hi" doesnt usually escape my mouth without some alcohol to help. The same also happens with anyone superior to me in the workplace (Though i'm in the military and this could just be attributed to boot camp.) while sometimes they may try to joke with me I usually just end up laughing akwardly and comming off as strange to them. Generally people seem to like me once they get to know me alittle but there seems to be no way to show that on my own often people have to drag me out of my protective shell to see it. I'm often plauged by thoughts of being socially inept, feelings those around me are carefully measuring and judging my words almost always getting the feeling of negitive results and finding myself with nothing at all to say. I find myself lost in a sea of self-doubt and due to my feelings of missed chances over the years several bouts of low self-worth. I would also have to agree, trying to explain this to anyone who is confident and seems to glide through every social interaction around them with ease they can never know how it is to feel lost, terrified and wanting nothing more than to be alone when at a party. |
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user629
Joined: Jun 9, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-09 10:26:04 |
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I'm 18 and still in school, I think I finally found what's wrong with me. I have friends i've known my whole life but i don't talk to anyone at school, at all. They must think i'm some psycho killer freak. I've never had a girlfiend, or even had a real conversation with a girl. I don't know what to do about it, i really want to be normal more than anything. |
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user629
Joined: Jun 9, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-09 10:58:48 |
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I'm 18 and still in school, I think I finally found what's wrong with me. I have friends i've known my whole life but i don't talk to anyone at school, at all. They must think i'm some psycho killer freak. I've never had a girlfiend, or even had a real conversation with a girl. I don't know what to do about it, i really want to be normal more than anything. |
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0 ella 0
Joined: Jun 11, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-11 11:06:32 |
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yeah,I'm a bit scared too by all those social things and whatever,but no exactly like you,guys... anyway...I was thinking...since you're not good with talking...why don't you get a pen and paper and write? =] I hope it would be helpful... |
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LouLouLou
Joined: Jun 21, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-21 00:32:06 |
| I actually WANT to be around people, want to discuss issues or talk about various topics but I find I am way too afraid of sounding or looking like a fool. I worry about ridiculous things like tripping over my own feet or something hanging out my nose when I do talk to strangers. Most people seem to seek me out,WANT tobe around me and I honestly don't get it - always wonder why, or what the catch is.. I was a really beautiful looking child, teenager and young adult but I sabotaged that too - put on weight, feel awful about being in the public eye - and even going to the store to buy a loaf of bread, I need to change my clothes,put on make up etc. I always feel like people are looking at me. As odd as all of the above sounds I am quite together as a person and manage to do what I need to do ln life but this feeling of social anxiety I carry with me a terrible weighted load... I wish I could be rid of it... I get the feeling I'm stuck with it for life! | |
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r2dav
Joined: Jun 29, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-29 23:12:35 |
| firstly i would like to thank you all. knowing that i'm not just that weird kid gives me strength. ever since high school i've been a social awkward usually staying home on the weekends, avoiding the parties the prom and everything else. i'm 24 now and still awkward in socal events tending to avoid meeting new people and staying very quiet when with friends. i'm not as shy as i once was but still tend to wait for somebody to start a converstion with me rather then go up to somebody. i feel that i've missed alot out of life because of this. i have pushed away girls becuase i felt inadequate, that they deserve better then me. i'd like to get better, but i wouldn't know where to begin.... | |
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HaBliq
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-03 05:54:27 |
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Hey all! I can relate to a lot of what's been shared here. My story is this: I was terribly shy as a kid. But for some reason, I appreciated my shyness. I think the reason has to do with my desire to get something out of life, rather than just to live it. In other words, I never wanted to be normal when I was younger, and I loved seeing things from a perspective most others didn't have. The pain, which could be extreme, was mostly worth it to me. At least until I grew up. As an adult who is absolutely terrified of the process of finding a job due to the social interaction part of it, yet who has to make money to survive, I find myself wondering why I can't just be normal. Also, I hear love and all that is a good thing, but I've never had a boyfriend and I have doubts I ever will. I crave a deep connection with someone, but I am so far removed from the possibility of getting hurt, I'm not sure it can happen. And that alone hurts! Yet I have improved. I remember as a kid I felt "shyness" was an inherent part of my personality. I think in a sense it is, but apparently not in the sense that I had to be that shy forever. When I was a Junior in high school, I hung out with a steady and small group of friends at school. I was terribly shy even with them, but I think the stability really helped. I began breaking out of my shell for the first time. It's a very interesting sensation, like watching black and white TV all your life and then being presented with color. A whole new medium opened up to me which I could hardly imagine existed before. So I changed, so much so that when I went off to college and I told people I was shy, they didn't belive me! Not that I'm an extrovert, or completely "cured," or anything. I've got my problems, but I do acknowledge things have gotten better. But then I stay up until 5:00 in the morning, like now, afraid to go to bed because I'll just lay there, fretting over my inadequacies and how lonely I am and how much I am missing out on life, etc. etc. Though it's fun to stumble on posts like this :-) Cheers! |
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InMyRoom
Joined: Jul 5, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-05 15:40:27 |
| Well, i have notice that i have been really shy since i was little, i never liked talking to people, never, but i always wanted friends, lately i have notice that i can't make friends that easy anymore, i feel like everyone already hates me, nobody wants to talk to me, everything i say is wrong, i stay up in my room all the time just writing song that sometimes depend on my mood.. i am not emo, im just sad and lonley!! but i don"t like talking to alot of people cause i feel like i have already done something wrong, i have only one person i can talk to without worrying and that is my best friend that i see about once a month now... i don't like to talk to my parents anymore cause some times i am just excentric, and people never understand what i am saying, I used to go on walks, when i do i have to be alone but if somebody is even walking across the street thirty feet away from me i panic like crazy, and then there is my shaking problem, when i get nervous because someone is near me, i look like i just saw a ghost, i cant stop and it is embarrassing and makes me want to hide even more...I used to be competitive too because i was faster than my team and i would HAVE to beat them because if i lost i would just fall apart inside and want to hide but i have gotten better and when it comes to compititions i just back out...i have become more alert and i get scared easily, and when I am afraid of something that is going to happen, i hear it. my dad is strict and he use to not let us go on the internet and my sister and i were on one day(home alone), and then i kept hearing the door open, and foot steps coming up the stairs cause I was afraid we were going to get caught....I dont like talking with my voice, i always think what other people would think......... i want to live in my own little world where everything works out.....and i sort of do, in my room...... | |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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