A Thought Has Just Entered My Head - As It Is An Inside Job!

1_schizo_grl Joined: Mar 15, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 17:52:45
	Obsidian "Grimace at a baby and this will mimic you" Is that similiar to "mirroring", or reflection? I'm trying to understand.
1_schizo_grl Joined: Mar 15, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 18:17:21
	"Far easier to stay the same" Ill try another approach. I have to more or less shut down, in order to keep from exploding. This is how I managed to stay out of jail, and it's the only reason. I cannot stand to be around nervous people, or those who constantly talk all the time, and never say a word. I call it the typewriter effect. My mother is this way, and she must live with me, I have shut down more in the past 5 years, than I ever have. When I try and focus on something I am trying to accomplish, there she is, talking incessantly, but never saying a word. If I do not shut her out, the best I can, I slowly feel anger rising. I have worked hard to control my anger issues. Derrick, it's the only defense I know, that will protect me from myself. Do I need medication, or does she ?????? Perhaps I should have posted this one, instead of my most recent. Sorry, if I worded everything the in correct way, on that post. Am I proud to have avoided jail? No.
Obsidian Joined: Jan 22, '10 Status: Senior User	2010-05-02 18:32:24
	"Is there a difference between awareness, thinking and consciousness? What are the differences, if any?" Awareness is how much a person take in and analyze from the surroundings. Consciousness is how awake a person is more physically. Thinking is thinking, having brain activity that is. :P >1_schizo_grl I was just saying that mimicking is human nature and not something learned. Everyone does it, some more than others though.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 18:51:26
	@ Obsidian So, there are three ways to go about this understanding. All three methods taken singly or in concert can be used to attack the logic of the mind that created the problem. To my way of understanding there is an equation there. @ 1_schizo_grl "Derrick, it's the only defense I know, that will protect me from myself. " I learned to control myself, not protect myself. So far, in ten years, I have not hurt anyone physically and my emotional reactions have lessened to a degree that is, if not normal, far more than it was ten years ago. You fear yourself which can be a self fulfilling prophesy. Mimicry is not enough. There must be a reason for the modeling and it can not (for me) be for myself. How do I stop the fear of myself? I get outside of myself and deal with the issues rather than running away from them. Can't or won't?
1_schizo_grl Joined: Mar 15, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 19:51:48
	Derrick "Can't or won"t? I will. Yes, I will. Through understanding, I can learn control? I just need to figure it out. I think I know how to do it. I would like to understand the agony of someone who might be dealing with drug addiction. I am unable to relate, because I do not understand that type of battle. Maybe somethng of this nature, might help me to understand my self better. . I try to use the "prevention beats cure" method. Is this the path to learning control of what I might fear within myself? Is my schizoid disorder, a mental illness? Is there a difference between a disorder and a mental illness? Will you help me understand my INTJ profile? I do not understand how to interpret it. I need to ask a question. A test I took a few months back, asked if I was fascinated with crime novels and criminal behavior. Yes, I am. I was asked if I had "flying" dreams. Yes, I do, but not as often as I would like. What kind of illness is this? I WILL defeat this. When I am determined, nothng stops me.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 22:30:04
	"I just need to figure it out. " As does everyone who has not been taught or has not learned the teaching of self discipline and self-awareness. The only method I know of understanding another is by listening to them. They must want to give it though as you have no doubt seen on this forum that there are those who refuse to truly share themselves. Their protection is so strong that they never let anything new in that would compete with the problem that they have created in their mind. Regarding your profile. I would not presume to encircle and bound you. I believe it is far better to deal with the issues that are confronting you in the present, than deal with interpretations that may or may not be in your present. "Is there a difference between a mental illness and a disorder"? This question has come under much scrutiny lately due to the complete restructuring of the DSM-V. The historical reasons for the decision making personality disorders as fundamentally different from mental illnesses are being undermined by both clinical and genetic evidence. The decision is to encapsulate both terms is final. I think you are far too determined with self. Do you think you need to relate to understand another? For empathy? Not a chance since by the very nature of the definition of empathy is to remove yourself from the equation, not insert yourself to relate. Empathy is not a self-help feelings group. Please spend some time studying what empathy is and how to determine when to use it. The search must be your own. It's not all about you. You move around in the posts, but once again, it is all about you. Thus my only advice for you at this time is to learn what empathy is and begin to practice what you have learned. Use baby steps and get outside of self. For let's face it. All these disorders have one thing in common. They are all about self. To break the selfish cycle is to move away from the constant need to be validated, understood and move to help others. Study empathy. Not by posting on a forum, but seriously study.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 23:35:31
	Then tell me the stories of your attempts to use this oh so valuable tool. This is where the reality of the present is a jewel.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-02 23:55:56
	"I learned to control myself, not protect myself. So far, in ten years, I have not hurt anyone physically and my emotional reactions have lessened to a degree that is, if not normal, far more than it was ten years ago." I want this to be clear for it is important. I use emotions as a tool to manipulate others into giving me what I want. I have been doing this since I was very young, because it worked. This method has lessened to the point where I almost never use a raised voice in anger to manipulate another. That tool is still there but now it is reserved for those who actually step over my boundaries. I have raised my voice in anger (still as a tool) no more than ten times in the last ten years.
odette Joined: Apr 19, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 07:06:40
	@ Derrick You seem to use your knowledge and experience to give advice and help people on the forums. Why are you so helpful and in a way, benevolent? There is no sense in manipulating the users here so that can't be the reason. The only other options that come to mind are boredom, or, possibly, a sense of service? Actually, in retrospect, I tend to act the same way in the forums. I am interested in your opinion as to why we so readily aid people on here with no immediate gain in sight? I could be completely wrong about your motives though.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 10:39:24
	"I could be completely wrong about your motives though." Which is why the healthy one asks and does not put their own views as a reflection. Which is why you can help others. Asking questions of another is the door to Empathy. :) Now, why do you do it? Hmmm? One human being simply helping another is the basis of humanity. I am not being paid. I have no ulterior motive other than to help, and make some form of indirect amends for my past acts. This opens the door for others to accept me. It's very easy to discount one who is being paid. I did it for much of my life. I am not bored. I doubt that most of my kind get bored. I think the higher degree histrionic and narcissist find boredom, but I don't. I can always find things to do. I spend hours a day in discussion over Judaic interpretations of the Talmud. How can one attempt to right past wrongs when those ones are no longer around? Through helping others and doing so with the "Three Greatest Blessings of Judaism." The three great Baruchas. In descending order of importance by least significant digit. 3. To help someone and it is known. 2 To help someone and others are unknowing. 1. To help someone when even you are unknowing. There are many who read this forum but who never post. What you post here and what I post here has repercussions.
Derrick Joined: Mar 26, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 10:47:53
	@ Odette A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man whom she did not know. She thought the man was amazing and believed him to be her soul mate and fell in love with him right there, never asking for his number. She could not find him and was so despondent. A few days later she killed her sister. With no more than the information given, why do you think this happened Odette?
1_schizo_grl Joined: Mar 15, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 12:41:59
	Derrick "Then tell me of your attempts to use this oh so valuable tool" Every summer I mow grass for an eldery lady. I enjoy it. Why? Knowing I helped someone, who otherwise, cannot help themselves. I refuse to allow her to pay me. I planted flowers for her last year, and this is something she has never done. I explained, that the beauty of nature, brings out the best in us, if we try to view it. She calls me "little child" I tried my best to help a former student, who wanted to get into international piano competiton. I asked her why she desired to do this. She wanted recognition. I explained that the purpose of even, entering competition is to try and excel, within ourselves, and not for the accolades and praise. I explained that even then, you might not win. On a personal basis, I told her she might have the abilities, but she lacked the dedication. Classical piano at that level, is not for everyone. I suggest she might try to find another path of education, in which she could be productive, in helping others to excel. What does she do? She gets mad, later, gets drunk, and has an automobile accident, which resulted in other people being injured. She blamed me for it. I did not get angry, but advised her to evaluate the possible consequences of her actions, and not just when she got angry. I taught her the "prevention beats cure" method. I hope she is presently applying this. Isn't this empathy? If so, I recall this type of emotion, Derrick.
1_schizo_grl Joined: Mar 15, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 13:24:08
	Derrick We all miss our mian defects 1_schizo_grl. The trick is to see them when logically dissected by others. I view this statement as constructive criticism. and to redirect ourselves to a more positive outcome, not only for ourselves, but for others, as well. Yes, I get it. I feel that many of us, simply fail to differentiate between positive and negative criticsm. I did some "breaking and entering" last night, within myself, if you will. I studied your posts to me, and others, as well. . Derrick, I "do" see. . I am merely doing my best, to apply what you are teaching us. Maybe I have shut myself down, in the past, but no more. . I'm a "hard nut to crack" as you explained, but it can be done. We have to do these things, within ourselves. It simply takes someone to point it out. I've never been taught these applications. I've already had a chance to use your teachings, and I will post about it this evening. Thank you for teaching me how to properly apply your knowledge and experiences. I do have empathy, sympathy, and understanding of others. I am simply "chosen? not to !!!! Isn't that it??
1_schizo_grl Joined: Mar 15, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 14:09:54
	Derrick Why did Einstein repeat this statement in so many different ways? I thought and thought on this, and I have come to a new realization. He tried once, and perhaps, nobody understood. He applied another approach; maybe some understood, others ,did not. Einstein felt that everyone could benefit from his teachings., and most importantly, He realized he had something to offer, and that everyone is important. What a genius! I'll sum it up this way: He more or less, kept "dividing it", until he was able to find a common denominator, that all, could understand. Derrick, this is the same as mathematical division. Am I remotely close?? I'll say no more, until you advise me.
odette Joined: Apr 19, '10 Status: Junior User	2010-05-03 14:29:49
	@ Derrick ...why do I do it? I am here because I want to feel a connection with someone. I always feel so alone and detached. I need someone to understand, maybe that would make me feel a bit better than I usually do. I attempt to do this by helping people on here, and also by sharing things about myself that I haven't done with other people. About your story...she might have killed her because: 1. She was angry because she felt as if he left her 2. She was angry because she felt as if he was taken away from her 3. She is delusional 4. She feels alone 5. She wanted someone to pay attention to her I really can't say. Tell me the rest if the story :p
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