Posted by binky on Jul 19-04 10:04pm Send Private Message

There are a couple of lines I didn't like... the last line being one and "wanna give into the knife" is kind of cheesy too. Geez oh peas... am I being too mean? I'm trying to be constructive, believe it or not. The poem's pretty good- especially for something so raw. Editing works wonders and if you look back at this poem in a week or so you'll find a line for the end that you like better. Nice writing,- never stop!